Our lovely masks
by Blood tinted rain
Summary: During the day time Mikasa Ackerman is a quiet high school student, during the night time however, she is a skilled assassin with a reputation as black as the night. A drop of fate and she meets a transfer student by the name of Eren Yeager, who holds a few secrets of his own.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no kyojin. Original creator: Hajime Isayama.

Please keep in mind that Mikasa and Eren have never met so in this story Mikasa will be more distant and cold to everyone. I will not change her that much but I just wanted to inform you guys.

Thank you!

(The following is in Mikasa's point of view but in future chapters the POV will drift from Eren, Mikasa and the author. I will be telling you when they do the switch.)

* * *

I detested and completely disagreed with the idea of being crammed into a place full of loud and obnoxious students for a full eight hours. However, even if I felt that school was a pain in my ass, I knew it was a necessity.

I groaned loudly into my pillow as I rolled over in bed; I could hear my alarm clock buzzing exasperatingly beside me. I had the urge to grab it and crush it underneath my hands. I knew I could do it but I decided against it. I didn't have the desire to buy a new clock once again, that would be the fourth one this month!

"Ugh—" I breathe into my pillow, the idea of school returning to my mind, I rub my eyelids and yawn. It was the first day back from summer break, and the first day was always the worst. Returning from a calm and quiet break to a loud and boring school was not my idea of fun. Human interaction wasn't a strong quality of mine.

I was always the type to keep to myself. Everyone else had their friends and groups to go to, but I? I had no one, and yet, it wasn't something I detested. I preferred and chose to be alone, honestly. I didn't need anyone, and no one needed me, that was the way I wanted it to stay for as long as I lived.

The cry of my alarm clock came ringing to my ears once again, snapping me roughly out of my thoughts. I arose from my sheets and ruffled my short raven hair. Turning off my alarm clock I head toward my dresser and begin rummage through my clothes for my school uniform.

Once I was ready I lock my apartment door and I walk to my school, it wasn't that far away actually and I had to admit that I enjoyed the serene walk towards that hell-hole. Before I entered the school grounds I silently wished that no one would speak to me. I wanted it to be a quiet and tranquil day.

When school came into view I glared at it in displeasure. It was necessary that I went, though, and captain Levi would kill me if I ditched. He told me I had to undertake an alternative identity, one that would suit a young girl like me. One that would conceal who I really was and delude everyone from the truth, he had said.

Nearing the school gate I noticed a lot of students crowding the bulletin board in front of the school building. I cursed underneath my breath. I hated crowds. I looked around plainly while noticing familiar faces, faces that I had in my previous years of high school. All of them were buzzing with conversation and laughter, but I paid them no mind.

All the students were crowding the front, pushing and shoving to get a view of their homeroom. I waited off to the side underneath a cherry blossom tree. I always waited until the crowd died down, it was always easier to be patient and find out my homeroom later, than to be bumped into by students.

Suddenly, I hear a voice call out to me.

"H—hey there, Mikasa!" a male voice said.

I look up to see a familiar face, a boy who was waving at me from a distance. If I remembered correctly that boy was called Jean Kirschstein. Jean was standing beside his best friend Marco Bodt, a freckled boy who befriended everyone.

Jean Kirschstein was honestly an odd one to me, even though he knew I didn't speak to anyone he still insisted on communicating with me.

Not wanting to seem rude I waved back lightly. Jean's smile seemed to get wider as he turned around and proceeded to head towards the bulletin board alongside Marco. After the bulletin board was clear of students I slowly walk up to it with my hands in my pockets. I hear footsteps rustling behind me but I ignored them, I was too concentrated in finding my name.

"Armin hurry up—we're going to be late!" I hear a male voice yell behind me. The person's voice sounded out of breath. They must have woken up late, consequently they probably had to dash all the way here.

Not wanting to draw any attention towards myself, I kept my gaze focused on the board. I heard the person plant himself beside me, but I remained indifferent. I kept looking for my name until—

"Hey, do you know exactly what we're supposed to be doing?" the voice asked.

I had the desire to ignore the question, but I disregarded that thought. That would have been rude of me. I may not have the desire to talk to people, but that didn't mean I would treat them in an ill-mannered fashion.

I turned slightly to face the voice, my dull gray eyes meeting with a pair of fierce emerald-green orbs. I had never witnessed such a shade of green in someone's eyes before, it took me by surprise at first. I also noticed that I had never seen this boy before, he must be a new student. He had short spiky brown hair and sun-kissed skin which suited him well.

I stood there for a second, staring at the boy who was at the same level as me. He kept his gaze—although a puzzled one— fixed on me as well. His chest kept bouncing up and down with strain from his arduous run, sweat lightly coating his forehead.

I offer an arched eyebrow towards the boy in response to his question. Not out of ignorance, but because I didn't understand why this auburn-haired teen was asking me of all people. Instead of seeking me for guidance, asking a teacher would have been a more favorable course of action. I was about to answer when we hear a loud intake of breath come from behind us.

"Eren— y-you shouldn't have left me!" a higher voice panted.

Both I and the boy turn back to find a blond boy stumbling towards us while trying to catch his breath. The fair-haired boy stopped in front of the other male and held his knees with his hands for support; he was practically gasping for air. I assumed that this new boy was the brunette's companion.

"I'm sorry Armin, you were just too slow." the boy next to me gave the blond a triumphant grin. "I was just asking this girl what we needed to do." he added.

"Eren, we're supposed to be looking for our name on the bulletin board! That will tell us our homeroom class." the blond boy, Armin, instructed breathlessly, walking up to the bulletin board himself.

"I knew it was somewhere around those lines but I was just trying to make sure. Geez, why do you have to be so freakin' good at remembering things!" the boy joked while nudging his friend.

"I was actually listening to Erwin while he was instructing us. I suppose you weren't listening at all." the blond retorted with a sigh. The brunet only shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Found them! We have the same class Armin, come on let's go! Thanks for the help!" the brunette waved at me, grabbing the blue-eyed boy by his sleeve and dragging him away. I remain rooted to the spot.

He thanked me?

I scoffed. I did nothing to help him, I didn't even speak a word, and yet he thanked me?

Deciding not to give the subject another thought, I resumed my search for my homeroom. Once I found my name I head for my class. On my way to class however, thoughts of that auburn-haired boy assaulted my mind.

Just my luck, here I was wishing no one would speak to me, and yet, two people already have! At that moment I wished I could turn back and head home. I didn't want to be here anymore.

Unfortunately, I made it to class and the teacher directed me to my seat. I saw more familiar faces as I walk to my desk. I looked at them with a dull stare and they averted their gaze from me as I passed, which was a good sign. At least, if they were afraid of me then they wouldn't make the effort to come up and talk to me right?

I had my reasons for not wanting to talk to anyone after all.

"Already everyone, settle down!" our teacher announces as he steps in front of the class. "Now I hope this year will be a great one of course, and I have a few announcements." he said as he faced us. "First, I would like to introduce two new students to our humble school—"

The door to the class slides open then and in came the blond and brunette boy I had met earlier. I was surprised to see them but I quickly tucked that emotion under my stoic mask. They walked towards the front of the room and wrote their individual names on the board.

"Hey, the names Eren Yeager. Nice to meet all of you." Eren announced,he looked around the room and found my eyes unconsciously. He grinned and I returned the stare with a solemn look.

"Hello, my name is Armin Arlert. I hope we can all get along." Armin smiled warmly at the class. Everyone stared at the two new students with gleam in their eyes, albeit they were new they already looked like they were going to get along with everyone. Probably due to the fact that they were transfer students and they were from a different country, that probably caught everyone's particular attention.

I, on the other hand, couldn't exactly put a finger on it it but I couldn't help feeling like something was off. Eren and Armin were slightly baffling to me to say the least. It felt as if they were trying too hard to come off as something they weren't. There was an air about them, one that caused nervousness to rise at the pit of my stomach. I decided to pay the feeling no heed; it was probably all in my head.

The teacher tells them where to sit and my bad fortune decided to come out and play today because the brunette's seat was right next to mine. My stomach begins to flip and churn within itself. Why was I feeling this all of a sudden? I shifted in my seat as Eren comes closer and for some reason I averted my gaze to the ground.

The boy took his seat next to me and to my surprise he didn't say a word or make an effort to talk to me. My eyes danced to the brunette's face, not wanting to make it plainly obvious that I was staring, I looked at him from the corner of my eye. The boy was rather handsome I thought abruptly. I blinked a couple of times, for some inexplicable reason I was beginning to feel rather timid along side this boy.

_I need to shut up right now,_ I think.

Suddenly, the boy looks at me from the corner of his eye and grins a pearly white smile. He had caught me staring. I shot him a frown and quickly avert my eyes from him, fixing my abashed gaze on the teacher. What was wrong with me today? I was acting unusual and I didn't like it at all.

"Now, for my second announcement, I know it's the first day, however I already have a project that needs to be completed. It's a relatively easy project, however it will require you to pair up into three." the teacher announced the horrifying news.

What? Work in a group? No, no, no, no, no! The word 'no' kept recurring tin my mind as the teacher called out my name.

"Ackerman!" he says and I immediately stand.

"Since you're class president I think it's best suited for you to work with them, you can inform them of school rules and such. So, I will be pairing you up with Yeager and Alert, please show them courtesy." by the time the teacher finished his sentence I wanted to drop my head on my desk.

Was this old man serious? My mind was filled with worries, though, my face betrayed my thoughts. I didn't show anger or displeasure, I simply nodded in a docile manner without saying a single word. I restrained the urge to turn and glare at the auburn-haired boy next to me.

When the bell rang I quickly grabbed my bag and walked away. As I was about to exit the door, though, Eren stops me.

"Hey, looks like we're going to be partners." Eren says.

"It seems so," I said, bypassing him and walking down the hallway.

"Hey! Wait!" I hear the green-eyed boy yell from behind me but I keep walking. Not wanting to engage in further conversation I rounded a corner and entered a random classroom to hide from him. An arbitrary choice if I do say so myself.

_This is stupid,_ I think to myself. _Why am I hiding?_

Though, I remain glued to the stop as I watched him pass, a sigh of relief escaped my lips unconsciously. After calming down I quickly realize that I was in fact in a different classroom, I look up and find students staring at me strangely. I composed myself and walked out of the unfamiliar classroom.

That was embarrassing.

After that little incident school went by smoothly, no one talked to me and I ate my lunch in peace outside. School finished slowly to my disappointment, nonetheless, I was happy it was finally over.

If I was allowed to go home right after the final bell rang I would have gladly been the first one out of the door, unfortunately, I had my obligations as president of the student council. Though, after I was done with that I headed outside of the building.

Before I exited the school grounds, though, I couldn't help but stop and look up at the sky. The sky always seemed to mesmerize me in an inexplicable manor. The way the array of hues adorned the sky took my breath away every time. Splashes of orange, pink, blue, and purple painted the sky, its canvas completely covered with brilliant colors, shrouding the whole city in twilight.

How beautiful and pure this sight was, but how unbecoming of it to befall to a terrible and putrid world such as this one. Without realizing it, thoughts of my mother conjured in my head suddenly. Her delicate features smiling down at me.

My heart grew heavy then and I felt pressure in my head. I swiftly placed my hand where my heart would lay and I bawl it into a fist. Why did my heart feel so empty and ridden with pain? I thought I had discarded those feelings. Why did they choose to appear now?

Birds chirping off in the distance brought me back to reality. I was glad no one was around to witness me like this. I tried to compose myself when a hand made contact with my shoulder. Without thinking I grab the person's hand and twist it. I hear its recipient hiss in pain.

"Fuck!" I hear and I look back, it was Eren. I quickly let go of his hand and mumble an apology, he looks at with a slight frown as he massaged his injured hand.

"What's wrong with you?" he asks and I turn on my heel.

"Nothing is wrong." I say, beginning to walk away but he grabs my wrists this time.

"Have you not learned your lesson?" I sigh as I tare my hand away. His hands were surprisingly soft but rough at the same time, signaling that he knew what work was I liked that.

"Hey wait! I wanted to talk to you!" Eren said, but I kept moving. He jumps in front of me with his hands outstretched on either side of him, enabling me from advancing forward. I looked at him with a slight frown.

"Halt!" he says and I fight back the urge to move him out of the way.

"Yes?" I say, irritation rimmed the edge of my voice.

"I never got your name, what was it?" Eren began, looking at me expectantly.

I hesitated at first but I would say anything to make him leave me alone at this point. "Mikasa," I say.

"Mikasa," he rolled my name with his tongue, "I like it." he said bluntly and my heart leaped. I remained emotionless but I had to admit that he was having a greater affect on me than I liked to admit.

"Well, I was wondering where we should meet, you know for the project." he begins then, looking into my eyes, I avert my gaze from his scorching stare, I felt my cheeks grow warm against my will.

"I don't know," I say monotonously.

Eren was about to reply but his friend, Armin, caught up to us and took his place beside Eren. Were these two always together?

"Hey, what are you guys up to?" he asks.

"Just establishing our meeting place for that project. How about your place?" Eren offered up my house like it was his own.

"I don't think so," I say.

"How about our place, then?" Eren offered.

"I have a better idea, what about a small coffee shop. I heard its really good and its quite enough for us to do our project. What do you think?" Armin said.

I nodded in response. Deducing that the conversation was over I turned around to leave.

"Hey wait— uhm," Eren speaks up causing me to turn around slightly. My eyes met with his fierce ones yet again.

"Do you have a cellphone or something so we can contact you from?" Eren asks.

"Yes," was my short reply.

"Can I have it then?"

"No,"

"Okay let me get my- wait what?" Eren did a double take.

"I said, no." I say.

"Why not?" Eren asked perplexed, but I didn't respond. "Why not?" Eren repeated a bit more sternly.

"U-uhm, if Mikasa does not want to give us her number it's okay! We'll come up with a different way of contacting her." Armin reasoned with Eren.

"Why go to all that trouble when we can easily contact her off her cellphone!" Eren huffed, his voice rising.

"Well, you can't force her," Armin stated nervously.

"I'm not forcing her!" Eren threw his hands in the air out of exasperation. "Now give us your goddamn number!" he demanded.

I scoffed as I glared at him lightly, he shot back a glare of his own.

"Well?" he waited annoyed, crossing his arms over his chest. I couldn't give him my number, I strictly used my phone for 'work' and nothing else. So I remained silent, much to Eren's indignation.

"There's other ways of communicating with her," Armin smiled nervously, sensing Eren's rising anger, "like when we see her at school."

Eren let out a defeated sigh, closing his eyes as if to calm his nerves.

"Fine, I'll let it go," he glared at me lightly, pursing his lips. I took that as my cue to leave so I began walking away without saying a single word. I felt the brunette's eyes bore holes into my back as I walk away. A chill ran down my spine in response.

"Good-bye Mikasa!" I hear Armin yell behind me.

* * *

As I entered my empty and dull apartment, I laid my keys on the near by table. I let my body fall on my sofa as I closed my eyes momentarily, taking in the few minutes of freedom I had left before I went to work. Oh, how I wished I didn't have to go to work. I groaned and rubbed my eyelids with the balls of my hand. I let a sigh escape my lips as I headed towards the bathroom to take a shower.

All the while, green eyes played in the back of my mind. The memory of that auburn-haired boy still fresh in my head. I glared at the memory of him.

* * *

So the first meeting always starts off slow but I promise the story picks up later when the action starts!

Next chap will be published soon! Tell me what you think!

BTR


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin. Original creator: Hajime Isayama.

In this chapter the POV will change a lot. The following is in Mikasa's POV.

Enjoy.

* * *

I examine a cut beside my lip I had recieved last night in the mirror, it wasn't deep but the flesh was still rather red and my skin stood out with inflammation. I cursed and place a band-aid over the small gash, truthfully, I had cuts all over my body but those were easier to hide.

The night prior had caused the injuries but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I was too accustomed to it to let it bother me, yet, it was troublesome getting injuries like this while going to school. They could attract unwanted attention, resulting in Levi having to handle the problem.

He hated doing that.

"_Stop messing around, brat."_ he would say, his frown set deep into his features, showing his displeasure. I hated the way he talked to me, he made me feel like a worthless child.

I shut my eyes momentarily, unwanted memories assaulted my mind, causing me to hold onto the sides of the sink for support.

I opened my eye and I looked at myself in the mirror—raw hatred reflected back at me. I detested myself. Disgusted with who I was. I looked away quickly, scoffing as I headed out the door.

* * *

During first period I sensed Eren's gaze on me, I was pretty sure it was him. I could feel him stealing glances at me every so often, but I never turned to acknowledge him.

I couldn't tell if he was staring at the band-aid beside my lip or not, nor did I care, but his gaze did make me nervous to some degree. It annoyed me as well. Why was he staring at me?

When his gaze finally returned to the front of the class, I stole a couple of glances of my own.

This boy, Eren Yeager, he made me feel uncomfortable and helpless in an odd way. I would never admit that to anyone, it would only serve to convey weakness, and that was impermissible.

Though, as much as it baffled me, I found myself enjoying and craving his attention. Which scared me because I had never felt that way for anyone before.

My response to these emotions was fairly simple: ignore the source of the problem. I would do anything to ignore Eren at this point. I couldn't indulge myself in establishing a relationship with him. It was crucial that I separated myself from everyone.

I didn't want to befriend anyone, that would only lead to unnecessary emotion. Not only that but being around me was dangerous for them. I couldn't do normal stuff like hang out or go to the movies. i was different.

I was set on keeping my distance from Eren, yet, there was an obstruction in my way. _That damn project,_ I think in annoyance. If it wasn't for that project and the fact that I was practically forced to communicate with them, my worries would have greatly diminish. But of course, things never turned out that simple. It was never _that_ easy.

It was as if fate itself had taken part on this. "Hmph," I breath.

_I will crush fate._

Nonetheless, I 'd maintain my distance, effectively getting the project done with as little contact as possible. I didn't know how I would do it, but I was determined to do it.

So when the bell rang, I gathered all my things and headed out the door as quickly as I could, ignoring Eren's extended hand and his call of my name.

* * *

(Eren's point of view)

That girl, Mikasa Ackerman, was incomprehensible, a true enigma to me. She was nothing like I had first anticipated, I had thought she was going to be quiet and coy, but she turned out to be cold and distant. Still quiet but not the cute kind, the kind you couldn't stand.

Yet, I found myself extremely attracted to her. I didn't know why, by God it made me mad. She irritated me, it was as if she knew how to push all my buttons without even uttering a word!

I could tell she hid herself from the world, she was physically in school but mentally, she was in her own little world. Mikasa was an eccentric character who displayed no emotion whatsoever, she reminded me of the Mona Lisa.

She was so simple, yet, she kindled so many question inside of me.

What if she like this due to domestic violence? Or maybe she suffered some type of emotional trauma when she was little that complicated her communication with other people?

Then again, I didn't know much about her, maybe that was just her personality. Though, it still stirred an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was off about Mikasa Ackerman and I was determined to find out.

One thing was certain, though, it was going to be very difficult to make her open up. She was like a clam, shut tight in a impenetrable shell, the strongest of the strong couldn't open her up.

I didn't understand the short haired girl in the very least, but that was exactly what drew me to her. Mikasa was interesting to me, like an unexplored place full of adventures.

That and the fact that I found her kind of cute, I liked her features. Her eyes were what drew me to her at first, those dull gray eyes that look completely desolate, yet, seemed to carry a heavy burden.

I knew those eyes too well, they reminded me of my own. Pain was what I perceived in those opaque eyes of hers, and I wanted to find out the reason why.

Today in class however, something else caught my particular attention: a band-aid rested by her lip. _I wonder what happened?_ I thought, drawing my eyebrows closer in order to examine her face. I saw band-aids on her fingers too.

I knew that she was aware of my gaze, but I didn't care. I found myself wishing she would turn around and look at me, but she never did. She was stubborn as a bull.

It irked me to a highest degree, but I was relentless. I would get her to speak to me if it was the last thing I did. _It would take nothing short of a miracle_, I thought.

When the bell had rang I tried to gathered all my gallant effort and talk to her then and there, but before I could even utter a single word I see her pass by in a blur of colors. I had no chance of catching her, the only contact I had was my involuntary reaction to reach out for her, only to graze the hem of her sweater.

"Mikasa!" I called out to her in hope that she would turn around and come to me but of course, she did no such thing. That little enigma just ignored me!

_Bitch!_

My pride was hurt. I look around and notice everyone's eyes on me. I could care less what they thought of me, though. I wasn't the pretentious type, I was quite the opposite actually. I was always headed against the current, I never liked flowing in the same direction as everyone else.

That was why Mikasa was so interesting to me, I liked the way she acted. She was exactly the same as me.

In the corner of my eye I see Armin attempt to give me a feeble smile to which I reply with a cold "tch", he knew when I was try to get someones attention. I hope he didn't get the wrong idea, Mikasa was just an interesting person to me. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I found her cute, sure, but that didn't mean I wanted to get to know her romantically. No, she annoyed me when I thought about it more sternly.

"Come on, Armin, let's go." I say before heading to my next class.

* * *

(Author's POV)

Once lunch time rolled around, Mikasa headed to her usual stop underneath a tree, she liked it because no one ever went there and she could be alone. She sat down on the ground beside the trunk as she reached for her chopstick, a sting of pain shot through her hand. As she winced, Mikasa accidentally dropped her chopstick on the dirt.

Curse her luck, that was the only pair she had brought today.

'I guess I'll have to eat this with my hands, at least no one is here to watch me.' Mikasa thought staring at her bento oddly. Was she really going to do this?

Levi would beat her for being so filthy. 'No actually fuck him, I'll do it specially because he hates it.' she thought, getting ready to grab her food.

"Here have mine," Mikasa hears a voice above her, looking up, her eyes met the pair of lucid green orbs that made her nervous. Of course, it had to be him, Eren Yeager himself. Eren looked down at Mikasa with an extended hand, offering up his chopsticks to the stoic girl.

"How will you eat?" Mikasa inquired lowly.

"I have an extra pair," Eren stated flatly, inching the chopsticks closer to Mikasa's face. Mikasa hesitantly took the chopsticks from his hand, she did not wish to take them but she was in dire need of some, and Eren just so happened to be there with an extra pair.

"Thank you," Mikasa says looking down at her food, refusing to look up at Eren again. Eren moved away from her sight, and just as Mikasa thought he was going to leave her be, she hears a rustle of leaves from behind her. Eren sat on the other side of the tree trunk, a thin layer separating the two.

'What is he doing?' Mikasa was bemused. She placed some rice in her mouth and her brows drew in closer in disgust, her rice wasn't all that good, all the food she cooked tasted bland.

"Hey, I wanted to apologize," Eren began then.

'Apologize? For what?' Mikasa thought but opted with remaining quiet.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday, I know I acted harshly. I got angry, because you— well you're just so stubborn and I— " Eren struggled to find the right words. In his mind everything was clear, but whenever he tried to voice his thoughts it always came out wrong.

"I didn't mean to call you stubborn—I don't know why I said that." Eren said, scratching the nape of his neck. "I'm just not use to—" Eren continued unsure.

"Someone like me?" Mikasa finished for him.

"No, that's not it!" Eren said, wanting to peer at Mikasa from the side of the tree, but he stopped himself before he could even steal a glimpse. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"I'm just not use to that look in your eyes," Eren admitted nervously. He felt stupid for saying that. This girl probably didn't give two shits about what he thought, let alone what he was saying. Eren wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

Why did he act so nervous around her? He had never cared what others thought about him in the past. Why now?

"My eyes?" Mikasa repeated.

"I—I don't like that look in your eyes." Eren declared, "Not in the bad way, you just look sad, and even though you try to hide it, I can see it. You—" Eren continued but was cut off.

"Does it matter?" Mikasa interrupted roughly. "You don't know me, so you shouldn't care." she bared her teeth while looking down at her hands, they were littered in bandages.

"Why do you think that?" Eren questioned the ebony-haired girl.

Mikasa, much to Eren' dismay, remained silent. 'Of course', he thought as he rolled his eyes lightly, 'I shouldn't really be all that surprised that she didn't answer.'

Eren and Mikasa remained silent for the rest of the lunch period; Mikasa ate her food in silence, as did Eren. All the while, Eren's mind danced with images of the girl on the other side of the tree.

He wondered what Mikasa was thinking at that moment. He wanted to know, and yet he couldn't know, which made him want to know even more. Alas, the bell signaled the end of their lunch, and Eren steadily got up from his spot on the ground; he stretched his arms and legs slightly before turning to see Mikasa.

"Well, I guess we shoul—" as Eren rounded the side of the tree he found the other side completely vacant. His eyes widened slightly. She had left? When had she left? Because Eren hadn't even heard the rustle of leaves or clothes. How could she have escaped him so easily?

'That sly girl—she's a stealthy one.' Eren glared at the spot Mikasa had just been. In her place, Eren found his chopsticks laying neatly on top of a pink napkin on the ground.

Eren raised a delicate eyebrow,'Pink?' he thought. Eren didn't take Mikasa as the type to like girly colors like pink—she truly was a strange person.

* * *

After lunch, Mikasa and Eren had separate classes but their sixth period was the same, though, Mikasa didn't sit beside Eren like in first period. Her seat was one row over, and two seats behind him. She visibly relax, at least now she didn't have to worry about his constant gaze.

As Eren settled in his seat he noticed a blond girl with a with a flat look on her face. Her nose was what caught his attention immediately but he decided to ignore it, her fierce frown was enough to send anyone crying. Eren noticed that Armin was not in this class, which caused Eren's eyes to drop a bit.

He hoped his best friend could make it without him.

With the exception of a few, Eren took note that a lot of the people from his first period were present in here as well. Like the strong vice president, Reiner Braun, and the towering but meek Bertolt Hoover, along with the girl who ate a lot, Sasha Braus was her name, and Connie Springer, Krista Lenz, and that mysterious girl, Ymir.

Eren looked around, then his eyes landed on Mikasa. She caught his gaze and seemed surprised for a fraction of a second until she turned her head to the side to stare at something other else with a glare on her face.

'Ouch,' Eren thought, 'she really doesn't like me.'

Their teacher began his lecture while his youthful students yawned lazily, his voice was monotone and barely audible. Eren yawned for what felt like the hundredth time. "God this class is boring," Eren mumbled underneath his breath, hoping that no one had heard him.

"Tell me about it," Reiner chipped in lowly beside Eren. Eren looked at him and nodded his head reluctantly. Looks like someone had heard him after all.

"Right, Annie?" Reiner whispered across Eren to the fair-haired girl next to him. Eren looked to his right, and his eyes landed on Annie, she had a rather bored expression plastered on her face but it looked like she was frowning. Annie glanced at Reiner from the corner of her eye, she then fixed her gaze on Eren. Her cold gaze made Eren stiffen unconsciously.

"Sure," was Annie's curt reply.

"You're Annie Leonhardt, right?" Eren decided to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" her words felt more like a threat than a question.

"Ah nothing, it's just that you're ranked 4th in our class." Eren pointed out, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, she is, and I'm ranked 2nd in our class!" Reiner stated proudly, coming into the poorly kept conversation.

"Wow, really?" Eren turned to Reiner, looking at him with admiration in his eyes. He honestly didn't know they were so high ranked, but then who was—

"Who's first?" Eren inquired lowly.

"Mikasa Ackerman," Annie said monotonously, her expression never changing.

Eren remained silent, he looked back slightly at Mikasa who was looking down at her book with a bored expression.

"Yeah, I can't ever seem to beat that girl! People say she is some kind prodigy or something. She excels in every subject in school, but I'm going to beat her eventually!" Reiner declared, his ambitious goal set deep in his eyes.

"Is that so," Eren looked down at his desk, deep in thought. "Was it hard to become second Reiner?" Eren asked.

"Huh? Well it wasn't easy I'll tell you that much. I have to study a shit load, this school is very exigent, after all. But I do relax sometimes, I have martial arts after school. I work but it's relatively easy and martial arts is like therapy to me." Reiner said with a grin.

"Martial arts huh, that sounds awesome." Eren said.

"Yeah, Annie teaches me," Reiner shot a smirk at the stoic blond.

"Really?" Eren said in surprised, snapping his head towards Annie.

"Stop lying," Annie closed her eyes in irritation.

Reiner laughed a low mirthlessly laugh, "Wow, calm down Annie, I was only kidding... somewhat." he said.

"I heard that," Annie stated, setting her death stare on Reiner.

"You see Eren, Annie's grandfather owns the martial arts dojo, so that's why I get to go there for free." Reiner continued, unaffected by Annie's glare. "Me, Bert, and Annie have been going there since infancy. Annie knows a few good moves of her own. She's pretty strong, for a girl." Reiner added, he was looking for a beating.

"So you know how to fight, Annie?" Eren asked, somewhat amazed.

"I do," Annie's said plainly.

"That's really cool, I'd like to see you fight one day." Eren grinned at the blue-eyed girl, which caused said girl to be taken aback a bit. She shrugged her shoulders in response.

Meanwhile, Mikasa witnessed the whole interaction from afar. She fixed her heated glared towards the blond girl sitting next to Eren. Mikasa couldn't explain it but she began to disliked Annie.

She focused her gaze on the back of Annie's neck, and Mikasa wondered if Levi would scold her for wanting to sliced the back of her neck right then and there.

In the past, Mikasa and Annie were known for having some form of rivalry. Their spite for one another never excelled to an actual fight. Something burned inside Mikasa now though, her anger sparking fire once again.

* * *

(Mikasa's POV)

Gym class was next. I loved that class. I enjoyed anything that required physical strain on my body, honestly. As I headed out into the field I saw Annie Leonhart maker her way onto the field as well. The bitter taste returned to my mouth as I looked at her, she caught my stare and scowled at me.

Our gym teacher gathered us at the track and told us to race. I was going against Annie? Perfect. Though, other girls didn't share my excitement, they heaved and groaned, but I was only interested in beating Annie.

I bent my body into a sprinting stance, and my hands touched the synthetic track beneath me. I hear the gun go off and my body jolts into action. I see Annie from the corner of my eye as we leave everyone behind in the dust. It was only me and her now.

* * *

(Author's POV)

Jean, Connie, Armin and Eren all watch the two girls run.

"I put my money on Annie," Connie says and Jean glares at him.

"No way in hell, Mikasa is sure to win!" he retorts.

Eren fixes his gaze on Mikasa, impressed by her athletic ability. He was sure she was going to win. Her legs were more defined than Annie's, and her movements were quicker.

* * *

(Mikasa POV)

I let Annie pass me slightly, making her think that she had the upper hand. Then, when I felt the time was right, I gathered all my stamina and increased my speed under mere seconds. I passed Annie in an instant, feeling the wind chirp against my ears. I felt a sense of satisfaction knowing I was going to beat her.

An image of Annie and Eren talking flashes in my head suddenly and I glared at the air. Before I reach the finish line I slowed my pace, allowing Annie to run past me and pass the line before I did.

I stop running, I look down at the ground as I glared daggers at it. I couldn't comprehend why I was feeling jealous of her all of a sudden. Why did my blood boil when I saw her talking to Eren? I clenched my fists tightly, I feel pair of eyes on me then, and I looked up to find the source.

My eyes met with emerald green orbs.

It was Eren, he was in the field next to us. Suddenly my chest tightened and I felt like I was running out of oxygen. I blamed it on the run I had just done but truthfully I was lying to myself. I tore my eyes from Eren.

_It wasn't because of him, no._ I thought.

My mind was in complete chaos and I blamed it all on that brunette. Even if it was wrong to blame him for doing nothing, I still hated how he made me feel.

After school ended I decided to stay after class and clean the classroom. I volunteered out of my own free will and I requested no ones help. As I finished the final touches my phone began to ring within my backpack, I lazily fished it out and see that it was Levi. I rolled my eyes as I pressed the answer button.

"Don't roll your eyes at me brat, that's rude." I heard Levi's flat voice come from the other side of the line.

The fact that Levi knew me well enough to know that I had rolled my eyes at him appalled me.

"What do you need?" I said bluntly.

"Don't be rude, bitch." I hear him say. "Last nights job, it was incomplete Ackerman, what happened?" I could hear the irritation ooze out of his voice.

"I'll handle it tonight," I say.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Ackerman." he said.

"Look I'll finish the job tonight, stop annoying me, I'm at school." I say, before Levi could reply I hung up the phone. I didn't want to speak to that chibi at the moment.

"Finish what?" I heard a voice say from behind. I don't even turn around because I already knew who it was.

"What are you doing here?" I say.

Eren walks closer to me. "That call must have been pretty important because, I think that's the most I've heard you talk, ever." Eren said, deciding to ignore my previous question. I only fixed him with a stern gaze.

"Relax, I was only kidding. So was that your boyfriend or something?" Eren asked curiously.

I suppress the urge to laugh, I did however, scoff. Boyfriend? Tch, over my dead body; I would never date that annoying midget of a man.

"No, it wasn't." I reply, turning from him as I begin to place the chairs above the desks.

"Oh, that's a relief." Eren said.

"What?" I turn to him, doing a double take.

"Ah nothing, here let me help you," Eren offers as he takes the chair from my grasp. I thought of stopping him, but then I decided to let him help. We both placed the last of the chairs on top of the desks, and once everything was done we exited the classroom.

"Ladies first," Eren extended his arms, allowing me to pass first.

"I saw that race between you and Annie, I was so sure you were going to beat her. Why did you let her win?" Eren began.

"I didn't let her win, she beat me." I say.

"Don't lie, I saw you, Mikasa. You were a good few inches in front of her but you slowed down. Why?" he said.

"I don't know," I say, keeping my hollow gaze forward.

"You could have beaten her,"

I stopped walking and I face Eren, "Why do you care?" I say harshly, my emotions getting the better of me. Eren frowns at me.

"I just want to get to know you better." he says.

"Why?" I interrogate him harshly.

"I—I don't know, I guess I want to be friends." he says.

"I don't want to be friends with you." I bite back harshly, glaring at him. I had to get him away. Didn't he understand? I _couldn't_ be his friend, whether I wanted to or not. He wasn't like me, he wasn't apart of the world I belonged to. An enormous wall separated his world from mine.

"But I want you to be my friend, I know that if we try, we can get along really well." Eren steps closer to me and I don't step back, I step even closer in an intimidating manner, much like I've seen Levi do to others.

"I will never be your friend, Eren Yeager." I say with spite laced in my tone. To my surprise, Eren didn't run off like most people did, no, he was different. He puffed out his chest as he glared down at me, he leaned in closer until our foreheads were on the verge of touching.

"Why not?" Eren demands, his tone colder, stronger. "What's so wrong with being friends?"

"That is none of your business," I retort.

Eren's eyes become filled with malice then, "Is it because you think you're better than everyone else? Is that why you're always alone, because you look down at everyone? Because you think no one can reach your level? Or is it because you're just some cold hearted bitch who can't hold a proper conversation with even a fly to save her life!" he spat at me.

And in that moment my eyes widen with fury; this boy had no idea what he was talking about, he had know idea what I had to go through each and every day. His words caused anger and sadness to swell up inside me. They actually hurt me. I couldn't take it, I stepped forward and punch Eren right in the face.

Eren was completely caught off guard which caused him to stumbled back, painfully falling to the floor on his side. I looked down at him, glaring, baring my teeth.

"Don't speak like you know me! You don't _anything_!" I spat out, my fists clenched. I took hold of my bag and began to walk away, not looking back once. I didn't want to see him.

_How dare he say that, how dare he say those terrible things._

I made it home and clumsily dropped my keys on the floor, I walked to my bedroom but I didn't even make it to my bed, I stumbled and laid on the floor. I place a hand over my eyes as Eren's words keep playing over and over again, it felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly.

_That asshole_, I thought, grinding my teeth.

I looked at the time, it was almost time to go to work. I didn't feel like going tonight, though, but it wasn't my choice either way. I heaved a sighed.

_I'll just skip school tomorrow then, I don't want to see that guy._

* * *

The next morning I remain in bed all day, I was freakishly tired from work the previous night. I breathed into my pillow. I needed this little break, I only questioned myself why I hadn't taken it sooner. _What time was it?_ I wondered momentarily, before switching positions in bed.

_"I just want to get to know you better."_

Eren's words rang in my head, I covered my ears in a futile attempt to block out his voice. Why was I thinking about him? He was a stupid and hotheaded boy who knew nothing about me. And yet, I had a burning desire to look into his fierce green eyes and hear his voice again.

_Well, I won't worry about him, at least I don't have to see him today._

_Knock knock_

I hear someone tap my door and I groan into my pillow. Honestly? Why was someone trying to reach me at this time? I didn't even know what time it was. I get up as the knocking intensifies, it was probably that chibi, Levi. I didn't even bother looking at what I was wearing, all I wanted was to rip someones head off.

I had a headache and the loud knocking wasn't helping. As I near the door the knocking wouldn't stop and I practically ripped the whole door off it hinges.

"What!?" I growl, looking downward expecting to see Levi.

"Uhm—"

It wasn't Levi, though, because I was staring down at someone's waist.

"Why are you looking down there?" I hear a voice question. Wait, I recognized that voice. _Fucking hell_, I think as my head shoots upward. I look into the very eyes I was cursing and complaining about not too long ago.

Eren stood in front of me, he was still in his high school uniform but he looked kind of worried. Why was he here? More importantly: how did he know where I lived?

Eren had a rather abashed look on his face as he looked away, a ghostly blush danced across his cheeks.

_Why was he—_

"You might want to put some more clothes on..." he said hesitantly, looking at me then quickly looking away. I looked down and examine myself—I only had on a white button up shirt that was slightly unbuttoned at the bottom, exposing part of my lean stomach. Also, the shirt did a extremely poor job at covering up my legs.

I slam the door shut, a red blush on my cheeks. I panicked behind the door, my thoughts were in a disarray. I run to my room and put on whatever I could find, once I was properly clothed I returned to the front once again.

I sucked in a heap of air before I opened door, and sure enough, Eren was still standing there. He was still embarrassed but his features visibly relaxed.

"Can I come in?" he clears his throat after a moment.

"Why?" I say, the events that transpired between us yesterday recurring in my mind.

Eren bites his lip, "I want to talk to you," he says lowly. I remain quiet but decided that it was okay, I step to the side, allowing Eren to pass by me. As I closed the door behind us I see him examining his new surroundings.

Without so much as asking, Eren spots my couch and plops himself on it, relaxing instantly. Putting my irritation to the side, I walk over to the couch as well and sit at the farthest end of Eren, without uttering a single word.

"Sorry," Eren blurted out, his brows furrowing as he looked down at his hands.

"Im sorry for what I said yesterday, I shouldn't have said those things. I still can't believe I said them." Eren admits, "It's just that I lose my temper really easily, and it's hard to control what I'm saying when I'm like that." he breathes.

"Your were right though, I don't know a thing about you. And it's hard for me to admit when I'm wrong, but I was such an asshole to you yesterday." Eren looks up to search for my eyes. "You must still be really mad at me, huh?" he questioned.

I close my eyes, "I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?" he sits up.

"No, I'm not. It was reckless of you to say those kind of things, but I won't hold it against you." I finish.

Eren smiles at me,"I'm glad you forgive me, Mikasa." I find his smile strangely pleasant, so I decide to stare at something else.

"Hey, why didn't you come to school today?" he asked then. I hadn't even realized it was already the afternoon, I thought it had been morning.

"I didn't feel like it," I respond, my eyes danced back to his against my will.

"Was it because of me?" he asked bluntly.

"No," I say simply. _Maybe_, I think.

"Oh," Eren remained silent after that, looking off to the side.

"How did you get here?" I ask.

"I walked," Eren grinned, and I narrow my eyes at him.

"No, I mean how did you find my house? I don't remember telling you where I live."

"I have my ways," he smiles suspiciously.

"Tell me." I demand.

"What if I say no?"

"I'll kick out of my apartment."

Eren stopped smiling then, "Really?" he says and I nod. "Vice president, Reiner Braun, he has all your information, so I asked him for the favor." Eren said. "Anyway—hey do you want to come with me and Armin to get some ice-cream? We're not going far from here actually. We can work on our project while we're on it!" Eren says.

"No, thank you," I say, causing Eren to frown at me.

"Come on, we have to work on that project! We haven't worked on it at all because a certain stubborn princess who wants to keep herself locked up in her castle." Eren says as he gets up and walks in front of me, I remained impassive.

He extends his hand out to me. "Come on princess, I'm not leaving without you." he says and I stare at his hand.

_Absolutely not_, I think as I look up at him. Though, before I can even refuse again Eren seizes my hand and in a swift motion pulls me towards him. I crash into his chest harshly and I gasp.

"Sorry!" I hear Eren say above me, his breath tickling my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He made no attempt to step away and I couldn't even move, he was too close but my body wouldn't move either. I remained frozen on the spot, my heart racing a thousand miles per hour as I hold onto his shirt.

_He's so warm,_ I think. _He smells nice, too._

"Mikasa," I hear Eren breath, I feel his head rest on mine, I felt his hands slide down to the dip of my waist and pull me even closer. My eyes widen.

_No, I shouldn't be allowing this_, I think frantically.

"Mikasa, I—" Eren begins but I don't let him finish, I step away and walk outside of my apartment, closing the door behind me.

* * *

I feel a badass for doing this while being sick! I hop you liked it n_n

Please tell me what you think in a review!

BTR


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin

Original creator: Hajime Isayama.

Following is in Eren's point of view. Now, it may get a little confusing at first because Eren is talking about something that I will reveal in later chapters, so don't worry.

* * *

_What did I just do?_

That particular question kept throbbing in my head like some awful headache, my palms were moist with sweat and it didn't help that I couldn't make much of anything at the moment. Everything was all hazy for a couple a measly seconds, and it almost felt like I was being surrounded by fog.

It was until I scrimmaged out of the mist that my thoughts began to seem coherent once again. I snapped back into reality like a rubber band as I began to look around.

_Did I really just hug Mikasa Ackerman and even had thoughts of wanting to kiss her?_

I had hoped that it was all some sappy dream where I had hugged her so tightly against me that I felt her soft breasts crash against my chest. I had hoped that I hadn't consider kissing her at that particular moment, or the fact that I thought she felt so good against me.

Well, shit. I had actually done all that stuff. _Aw, man. She probably thinks I'm a freak. _

Suddenly, my heart begins to pound furiously inside my rib cage, ricocheting inside my stomach and rippling through my ears. The evidence of my embarrassment showed through my hands as they trembled slightly with the help of some adrenaline, I didn't want them to shake and I frowned at their disobedience.

It was like my limbs and body moved on their own back in that moment, they reached out and clutched at Mikasa before I could even register what I was doing. It was as if it was second nature to them or something.

I drop my hands to my side as I sighed in defeat, not knowing what to do with them I lifted them back up and run them through my untamed hair, as if to magically release some stress like vapor. It was a fruitless attempt honestly, but still, an attempt nonetheless.

I had to admit one thing though: her warm body against mine was reassuring to me in more ways than one. She was alive, her heart was beating richly against mine, it was in rhythm with mine but most importantly—she was tangible. Yet, unreal in a sense, like a dream of sorts. She represented everything I couldn't become or hoped to reach.

She was normal, she didn't live the life I did. She wasn't hiding herself from the rest of the world. She wasn't living a double life like I was.

I wanted her to bring me to her world where it looked safe; to save me from the dark sea I had plummeted to. My heart jumped at the thought but then I had to remind myself that she wouldn't do that for me. It was never that easy. Plus, I didn't think she would accept me for who I really was—a monster.

I was sure the raven haired girl wouldn't spare me a second glance if she knew what I really was. Disappointment seeped into the ventricles of my heart then, much like water. All this negative thinking brought me down and it wasn't getting me anywhere.

I decide that it was time to head outside, Mikasa was probably wondering why I was taking so long in her apartment.

As I walked toward the door and grasped the cool-metal doorknob underneath my warm palm, I couldn't help but wonder what she would say or do. Knowing Mikasa she probably wasn't going to do much of both.

_Maybe she'll act like nothing happened. _I could only hope. I have this strange sensation of uneasiness soaking into my bones. My doubts intensifying with every passing second, I could almost hear the clock tick within my ears.

Being in here, in the warmth of this apartment was like a dream and heading outside there where the cold surely laid was like reality. I didn't want to go outside and face Mikasa, I wanted to stay in here where—for right now—problems seemed nonexistent. I almost felt like a kid who hides behind his mother's dress for protection, hiding from the problems.

I wanted to disappear then and there, but at the same time I wanted to march out there and envelop Mikasa in another electrifying hug. That later one was probably a bad idea. So I clutched the cold metal and twisted it. The door cried as I opened it, as if sharing my pain.

I felt the cool breeze hit me first and for a moment I couldn't see Mikasa. Where was she? I panicked a bit, thinking that maybe she had just left me.

To my relief, though, she was a few paces away, standing off to the side and staring into space with a tranquil gaze. She looked to be waiting, calm and composed as always.

_Maybe she wasn't mad after all?_

Then I make slow footsteps towards her and I see Mikasa tense at the mere sight of me. My conviction flew out the window alongside her composure. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I look away from her. I refused to look at her and she probably felt the same.

I felt as if her eyes would tap into my subconscious and witness my shame if I stared for too long. I placed my trembling hands inside my pockets to hide my nervousness, I wipe my moist palms against the soft fabric of my coat.

Seriously, why was I getting so worked up over this?

To my relief, Mikasa didn't look at me or speak either. I wondered if she was feeling the same exact nervousness that I was feeling in that moment. Was her heart beating as fast as mine, too?

I begin to walk forward and Mikasa quietly walks alongside me in a steady pace as well. Neither of us engaging in conversation. At the back of my mind I remembered that Armin was waiting for us at the coffee shop, the thought of him was reassuring to me. He was, in a way, a means of escape from this awkward situation. I found myself wishing Armin was here, he always knew what to say when things got weird.

With a slight quivering hand I fish out my phone and dial Armin's number. Christ, I hoped Mikasa didn't pick up on my nervousness.

I heard my best friends voice come from the other line, "Hello?" Armin says.

"Hey, sorry we're running late, we're heading your way now." I say, trying to sound composed.

"We? So you convinced her!" Armin sounded excited.

"Yeah, I convinced her to come! I'm good at persuading after all!" I grin, turning to Mikasa, breaking the ice that had sprouted around us like a deadly vine. Mikasa looked at me from the corner of her eye and to my surprise the corner of her lips curled up in a frail smile.

I couldn't stop staring at her, "Yeah I—we'll be there in a few." I say mechanically as I end the call, but my eyes remained on Mikasa and that ghost of a smile on her lips. However, that smile disappeared as soon as it appeared, replaced by a delicate frown.

"What?" Mikasa mumbled.

"No, nothing" I say, placing my phone back into my pocket. A second later and I felt my phone vibrate, so I hooked it out to see who it was. It was a text message from Annie, asking if I was going to go to the dojo today.

**Annie: You coming? Reiner won't stop bitching at me about it.**

I snorted at Annie's simple but odd text. I had recently become good friends with Annie, Reiner and Bertolt, I had even agreed to join them when they went to the dojo. Unfortunately, I couldn't go today.

I pressed the touch screen to my phone to reply, but I stopped midway. I could sense a pair of looming eyes over my shoulder and I looked to my side only to find Mikasa peering at my phone. She had a slight frown on her beautiful face, and those soft pink lips were pursed out a bit.

I wonder why she was frowning in that way.

"Nosy much?" I decide to say. Probably not the best choice of words, but I didn't care. I was tired of this whole "not talking to one another" atmosphere that had settled between us, so I figured the best way to go back to normal was messing around with her a bit.

I see Mikasa direct a glare in my direction, she turned away with a slight with a blush on her face. Ha, she had been caught red handed and I had the satisfaction of seeing her get embarrassed. It was a true miracle to get such an emotion out of this cold, and stoic girl.

I wrapped my red scarf tighter around my neck as a cold breeze coiled around us like a snake, biting lightly at my nose and cheeks. Mikasa looked kind of cold as well, even though she had on a sweater. I debated whether I should give her my jacket or not. The stubborn-ass would probably refused it anyway.

Once we made it to the coffee shop we directed ourselves towards Armin, who was seated at the far end of the humble shop. We sat down and began talking—most of the talking came from me and Armin, but we did manage to get a few words out of Mikasa here and there.

Her voice was soft yet strong. It ran smoothly through my ears and I found myself liking the sound of her voice more and more. I would never admit that out loud though, she would probably get mad and never speak to me again.

I fish out my wallet, "What do you want to get? I'll buy you something, you too, Armin." I say.

"I'm okay, thanks." Armin says.

"It's fine." Mikasa shakes her head.

"I said get something," I lightly bang my hand on the table.

"No," Mikasa says.

"Why you stubborn ass—"

"Eren!" Armin yells and shakes his hands.

I get up either way and head to the counter. As a young man, I feel the indignation to at least buy Mikasa a drink. I didn't know what she wanted but I didn't care, I bought something I thought she might like and I already knew what Armin wanted.

I bought her and Armin a drink and even get something for myself. When I go sit back down Mikasa takes the drink in both hands.

"You're calling me a stubborn ass but look at yourself?" she says flatly.

"Never seen something so fine, I would say." I grin and she makes a face of disgust, I wanted to laugh.

We sit and discuss our project and ever so slightly we begin to relax and really get comfortable with each others presence. To sit here and talk with friends was something I missed, I hadn't done something like this in years and the best part was that it felt so natural.

Sure, Mikasa was new to us, but we sat there and talked like we've been doing it for years. Mikasa was very smart, and I could see now why she was ranked number one in our class. Soon, however it became time to leave, I hadn't realize how late it was. We stepped outside the shop where the temperature seemed to have dropped a few degrees.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school Armin, I'm going to walk Mikasa home." I say, standing beside Mikasa as I placed my burning hands inside my pockets to protect them from the cold.

"You don't need to do that." I hear Mikasa say.

"Don't protest," I say simply, glancing back at her lightly. Armin nods in agreement and waves a hand at us. "See you tomorrow then!" he says and begins to walk away. Mikasa and I begin to amble the opposite way, silence engulfing us yet again.

I decide to not look at her, rather, focus on the sound of her shoes thumping softly against the cement underneath us, reassuring me that she was walking right next to me. However, after a while her footsteps cease and I stop walking to look behind me.

"What are you doing?" I ask Mikasa who was standing still.

"Why are you doing this?" Mikasa said out of the blue. Her question seemed out of place, as if she couldn't find the right words to say.

"Uhhm, walking you home? Because I don't want you walking by yourself at this hour." I say, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, but I could feel that she was leaning towards a different meaning.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, why are you being so nice to me when I'm being so cold to you? Most people leave me alone because they think I'm a freak, or they think I'm a bitch. So why do you insist on talking to me? I already told you I want nothing to do with you. So why? I don't understand?" she says, looking down at the ground hollowly.

It angered and saddened me to hear her say those kinds of things. I knew she didn't want me as her friend, but I couldn't help it, from the first time I had seen her I was instantly captivated.

"Look," I stepped closer to her, taking off my red scarf and placing it around her neck, it was actually quite chilly and I could see her visibly shiver. Mikasa made no effort to look up at me, so I decided to tell her the truth.

"Something is wrong, I can tell, whether you want to tell me or not is up to you but I'm not going to leave you just because you're acting indifferent. You remind me a lot of myself, in the sense that I wasn't always good at making friends either and sometimes I didn't even want friends. But it felt like everyone was against me, though, even though I had obvious anger problems, Armin still stayed by my side and became my friend. I'm not saying you have anger problems—" I stammered a bit, searching for the right words to say. Shit, I was bad at these kinds of things.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to leave you either. You can try and push me away, but I've decided that I want to be your friend, and that's that," I finish, holding onto the ends of my scarlet scarf that I had wrapped around Mikasa's delicate neck. It coiled around her in a sloppy manner but I was proud of my work.

In that moment, Mikasa looks up at me and her expression was ineffable. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the lighting or the angle she was in or maybe both but in that instant—Mikasa looked completely vulnerable. She looked as if she was exhausted beyond repair and as if her cold mask had crumbled a tiny bit.

She seemed so frail, as if the slightest gust could steal her away from me like a leaf. Even though her expression was heavy it wasn't all bad, I couldn't exactly explain it but she looked as if some of the weight on her shoulders had lifted.

Maybe she needed to hear this. Maybe she's needed someone to come along and show her that not everyone was going to turn their back on her.

I fought the urge to hold her in my arms, I didn't want to repeat the same mistake again, yet, it felt like the best thing to do at the moment. It was either now or never.

I grab her by the shoulders and lightly press her against my chest, she doesn't move or say a word, she just lets me hug her.

"I don't need you to be here for me. I don't need anyone." I hear Mikasa say into my shoulder, I press her closer. So she was still choosing to fight me? She was truly stubborn. Why couldn't she just accept my help?

"I'm still going to be here, Mikasa." I say lowly as tighten my embrace, then, ever so lightly I feel her hands on my back. She was returning my hug. My heart begins to race, I couldn't believe she was hugging me back!

Mikasa Ackerman, the queen of ice hugging me. Who would have thought.

After a while I let her go, she looks down at the scarf I had wrapped around her neck and places her fingertips on the soft material, without saying a word as she did so. I remained there also, admiring her. I was kind of abashed but I wanted her to know how I felt.

I was never the type to keep things bottled up anyways, plus I knew—even if Mikasa herself didn't realize it— she needed this also. She needed someone to be there for her, to lessen that burden on her shoulders. Because honestly, even if Mikasa thought she was tough, I could tell something was rotting her from the inside out.

"Come on, you'll catch a cold moron," I say as I grab the hem of her sleeves and pulled her to begin walking ahead.

"You will, too. I hear her breath behind me and I smile.

* * *

(Author's POV)

The next day, Eren was excited to see Mikasa for some odd reason. He sat patiently in his desk, unable to keep his mind off of that raven-haired girl. He heard the door slide open and quickly turn to see if it was Mikasa, only to find Armin at the door. Eren's eyes noticeably dropped.

"Expecting someone else, Eren?" Armin smiles at the brunet and Eren looks away.

"No," he lied, turning on his seat. Suddenly, the door slides open once again and sure enough, Eren quickly jerks his head to the door. His expression quickly morphed into one of genuine displeasure.

If Eren had been feeling any joy prior it was now completely erased by the person who had just entered the classroom.

Jean Kirstein walked into the room wearing a grim look on his face that was directed at Eren. For some reason, Eren never got along with Jean, from the very first day they had problems and they have even argued once or twice.

Eren frowns as he looks away from Jean. "What is it Eren? What were you staring at?" Jean spat out but Eren decides to ignore him, he didn't want to start a pointless argument with Jean this early in the morning.

The fact that Eren tried to ignore Jean made the gray-haired teen even angrier, he ended up walking up to Eren and nudging him roughly on the shoulder.

"Hey you little shit, I was talking to you, pay attention! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jean said rather loudly. Armin looked between Jean and Eren, 'Crap, this isn't going to end well.' he thought as he looked at his best friend. Armin knew that Eren had a tendency of fighting back when someone got into his face.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with _you_! I was trying to avoid another pointless fight with you, idiot!" Eren nudged Jean back, standing up.

"You piss me off, you know that Yeager!" Jean's nostrils flared, looking down at Eren as he dabbed a slim finger at the other male's chest. Eren had no clue why Jean was so pissed off at him, he hadn't done anything wrong, anything that he knew of for that matter.

"Right back at you Kirstein! What did I even do to you anyway?" Eren glared at the taller boy.

"Your face just pisses me off! You think you can come to our school and establish a relationship with Mikasa? Do you think the cutest girl in school would be interested in such a pussy like you?" Jean growled. Now that pissed Eren off. Eren slapped Jean's hand away and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt, squeezing the fabric viciously.

"Fuck you, Jean! I don't see how that is any of your concern! Its not my fault you don't have the balls to talk to her!" Eren spat back, rage flooding his stomach, Jean's eyes widened in anger.

"Guys lets not make a big scene, we can discuss this more calmly somewhere else." Armin offers nervously as he looks at the students who were entering the classroom, all of them directing their full attention towards the two angry teens.

Armin was thankful that their teacher hadn't come into the classroom yet or Eren would have surely gotten in trouble. That was something they couldn't afford right now.

But Eren and Jean seemed to be in their own little world, in a war zone at that. Eren felt like punching Jean right in the face, and Jean felt like grabbing Eren and throwing him out of the window.

"WHY YOU LITTLE BITCH! SAY THAT AGAIN!" Jean hollered, grabbing Eren's collar and shaking him.

"YOU'RE A LITTLE PUSSY WHO CAN'T TALK TO A GIRL!" Eren yelled loudly for everyone to hear, everyone gasped simultaneously. Suddenly, the door to the class room slid open again and everyone turns to look at the door, including Eren and Jean.

Armin, fearing that it was their teacher, was ready to talk Eren out of getting in trouble, but it wasn't him, instead it was the very girl they were arguing about. Mikasa stood at the foot of the door, eyes opaque and void of the person behind them.

Eren quickly sensed that something was wrong right off the bat. Mikasa seemed very pale, and weak, her eyes held dark circles underneath them. She wobbled some as she tried to take a few steps forward.

"Mikasa?" Eren said letting go of Jean, rushing towards the stumbling girl, but it was too late for Mikasa's eyes roll up as her eyelids fluttered closed, her body gave out and she begins to fall. Eren leaps forward, catching Mikasa in his arms before she could hit the floor.

"Mikasa!?" Eren exclaimed loudly but his voice fell to deaf ears as Mikasa's limp body settled in his arms. Panic replaced the anger Eren had been feeling in his stomach, his heart began to speed up. Everyone gathered around them as they began to talk among themselves, Armin fought through the crowd to get to Eren and Mikasa. He crouched down and touched Mikasa's pulse.

"She's breathing but very weakly, Eren, she needs help!" Armin said with wide eyes. Eren examined Mikasa's pale face, worry clearly edged in his features. His mind had gone blank for a while, like a white piece of paper, he couldn't think clearly.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" a new voice was heard, their teacher stood outside the classroom door looking down at Armin, Eren and Mikasa. That seemed to snap Eren out of whatever trance he had coiled himself into, he jolted upward holding Mikasa in his arms and ran out of the classroom without saying a word.

"Mikasa Ackerman fainted sir, Eren Yeager is going to take her to the infirmary." Armin informed their teacher.

"Fainted?" He gasped, "I hope its not too serious," the teacher seemed surprised as his eyes lingered in the direction Eren had went running off to. Soon, the teacher cleared his throat and addressed the class, "Everyone calm down, Mikasa Ackerman is in good hands. Lets all get back on track for now."

Everyone returned to their seats but their minds were on the scene that had just unfolded before them. Many thought that Eren had looked like some kind of worried boyfriend catching Mikasa the way he did. All of the females in the room blushed at Eren's bold impulse, they all thought he was cute when they first saw him and now they saw him as some kind of hero.

"How sweet!" the girls all murmured. The males however, worried over the cold beauty in Eren's arms. All of them could only hope that Mikasa was going to be okay.

"That fucking asshole," Jean whispered, his jaw tightened strongly. He was jealous of Eren, he wished he had been the one to catch Mikasa, but he froze. 'Im such a coward!' Jean thought, as he laid his head on his desk.

* * *

(Mikasa's POV)

I felt like vomiting, even though I had nothing in my stomach to throw up, I still felt the nerve-wracking and nauseating feeling rise up to the top of my throat. My head felt like it was spinning and pangs of sudden sharp pain stung through my brain. I hated headaches.

I had my eyes closed so I couldn't tell where I was, but I felt soft fabric underneath me. My memory was hazy, clouding my mind like some deep and dark forest. The only thing I could remember was last night, how I had finished the job assigned by Levi. A chill ran up my spine and I felt my hands begin to twitch.

I could almost feel it, almost feel the blood on my hands that had run cold that night.

I groaned as I forced my eyes open, at first the pale light blinded me but soon I made out a figure above me. My eyes adjusted only to find Eren beside me, he was looking away from me at something on the other side, clear distraught painted on his handsome face.

"Ere—" I begin to say as I try to get up but a sharp pain pierces my head as I did so, I grabbed my head in a futile attempt to lessen the pain.

"Mikasa!" Eren's head snaps towards me. "Don't talk, lay back down," I hear Eren say. I feel his warm hands on my shoulders as he gently lays me back down on the bed.

Settling myself back, I looked around the unfamiliar room with a frown. Where was I?

As if sensing my confusion, Eren answers my question, "You're in the infirmary, you fainted when you came into class." he said.

_Shit__, how am I going to explain this?_

As my headache lessens I raise my upper body from the bed, Eren tenses and with good intentions tried to lay me back down but I refused whistle lightly pushing his hand away.

I remember blood.

My stomach fires and I quickly bring my hands up to my mouth in order stop the anticipated bile, I didn't throw up but I could feel it building up. Eren didn't say a word, he only placed a hand on my back and began to run it up and down with his palms. To my surprise it helped a little.

"Thank you," I breathed as I regain my composure. Unable to find the right words to say in my head, I opted with remaining quiet and staring into my hands that were littered with small bandages. I knew Eren was going to ask that inevitable question, but I hoped that he wouldn't—

"What happened to you, Mikasa?" I heard Eren ask as he looks down at my hands. I hid them underneath the white sheets.

Was everything white in this room? I hated white. It was such a deep contrasting color from the dark color that tainted me.

I decide to not say a word for two specific reasons: first, any answer that I could give Eren could potentially endanger his life, and secondly, I felt like if I opened my mouth nothing but sticky vomit would come out.

Eren looked at me with concern in his breathtaking eyes, he wanted answers, answers I could not give hi,m unfortunately.

"Mikasa—" Eren starts.

"Its nothing," I say.

Eren glares at me, the kind of glare you give a child when you scold them. "Don't lie to me Mikasa, what happened to you? Why did you faint? You're extremely weak and you're so pale. Not to mention all those—those—" Eren said looking at the scrapes on my face. I see him lift his hand and place it on my forehead.

"What are you doing?" I inquire.

"You have a fever, why did you even come to school?" Eren says.

That was a good question, why hadn't I stayed home?

I knew I had a fever but it was nothing I couldn't handle, after all, I had come to school with a fever before and no one had even noticed, too. No, I could handle a small thing like a fever.

But, I couldn't tell Eren that it was because of him, I couldn't tell him that it was because I wanted to see him. No, not even I would admit those feelings to myself so there was no way I would tell him why I had came to school.

I feel Eren rest his hand on my cheek and I lean into his cool palm. It felt nice. Suddenly, though, I feel the bile that had been resting on the pit of my stomach begin to rise.

"I need to go home!" I say frantically as I get up and rush towards the nearest trash can, I grab the sides and spill out the contents in my stomach which was nothing but bile. I hear Eren stand and rush to me, I feel his hands on my back again and on my side, keeping me steady as I emptied out my hollow stomach. My throat burns like fire and my body trembled with the aftershock.

In that moment the nurse walks in and notices the situation, she quickly assisted Eren in placing me back on the bed.

"You shouldn't have moved, you're extremely weak but I think its due to stress and malnutrition. Are you eating well? Getting enough sleep?" the nurse asks and I play the silent card, I didn't want to answer those questions.

"Are you her friend?" the nurse turns to Eren.

"Yeah," Eren says.

"Well, we need to contact her parents and let them know what happened and that she's going home for today, and even tomorrow if she doesn't get enough rest and plenty to eat. I need to let them know what they need to do." the young nurse said politely, heading towards a drawer and pulling out a notepad.

"I—will c-contact my—parents," I say between breaths.

"Are you sure?" the nurse asks concerned, jotting down a few things on her notepad.

"Yes, I'm starting to feel better, I just need to sleep." I lie through my teeth. I didn't want her to know I was living by myself either.

I could feel Eren's troubled gaze on me but I ignore it. I thought he was going to speak up but to my relief he decides to remain silent. The nurse exits the room and leaves the two of us alone, I didn't know whether to feel relieved or apprehensive.

I couldn't face Eren, I knew he was aware of how vague and incredibly sketchy I was being.

_Please, don't put me in a position where I have to lie to you again._

I didn't want to lie to Eren, I didn't know why but every time I did I felt this uneasiness take root and spread across my entire body. It was a foreign feeling, one that I did not like.

Eren makes no move to talk to me, though, and somehow that makes me even more uneasy, now I want him to at least look at me. A few moments later the nurse walks in again, "I recommend seeing a doctor if you don't get better Miss. Ackerman, it could turn really serious if you don't begin to eat and sleep properly. But you may leave now if you like. Do you have a ride to take you home?" she asks and I nod my head, she nods as well and excuses herself from the room.

"What ride?" Eren says but the way he said it made it seem more like a joke than a question, he knew I had no ride whatsoever.

"I'm walking home," I say.

"I'm taking you home then." I hear Eren declare.

I didn't know if that was a good idea but frankly I couldn't muster the strength to protest, I just wanted to rest.

"Let's go then," Eren says before he helps me out of bed, once I was stable and on my feet he grabs my hand and begins to lead the way. I was too weak to even care that he was holding my hand, I just let him do whatever he pleased. His warm hand was reassuring to me honestly, I never wanted to let go. I felt so dependent on him at the moment that it was sad.

I was such a strong woman, what had happened?

As soon as we make it outside I feel my weight being lifted of the ground, I registered a few seconds too late that Eren had lifted me and place me over his back.

"Hey, you—I can walk," I mumble lowly.

"Calm down, this is more convenient for you anyway, so shut up." Eren say as I lay my head on top of his despite the declaration I had just given, I couldn't even hold my own head up.

The steady pace of his walk almost lulled me to sleep, the rhythm of his slow breaths didn't help either. We make it to my apartment and I give Eren the keys to my front door and he opens it.

Eren carries me to my room and lays me on my bed. I could barely make out his figure now, everything was so blurry. Eren resembled a blob of dark colors, he almost looked frightening but I knew Eren wouldn't cause me harm.

He was the exact opposite of danger, he was warmth and happiness in my eyes, even if I didn't like to admit it. I could make out his soft brown hair from the hurricane of colors, I see his emerald-green eyes and I feel a great sense of relief wash over me.

I stretched out my hand to him, I didn't know exactly what I wanted but I knew that in that instant that I didn't want Eren to leave me.

I feel Eren envelop my hand within his larger ones; his warmth soothing me instantly.

"Don't—leave," I manage to whispered as I drift into unconsciousness again. A great inky black consumes me and obscures my vision; the color I detested the most holds me in it's cold arms and swallowed me completely.

_Please, don't leave me alone._

* * *

I wake with a jolt from my dreamless sleep, sweat coated my whole body as I gasped for air. My hands gripped the sheets underneath me tightly as I tried to calm my labored breaths. I looked around my room for a while, not recognizing it at first. Realizing that I was safe I sighed in relief. Then I began to look around for Eren but he was nowhere to be seen.

_Was him being here just a dream? Did I imagined him here with me?_

My eyes lower in disappointment and my heart sinks. Of course it had all been a dream. Why would Eren carry me all the way over here in the first place? It made more sense that I was alone.

I was angry at Eren, angry at him for not being here. I knew it wasn't his fault, obviously, at the very least it was my own stupidity that got me here in the first place but still—I couldn't help feel a bit betrayed.

Why was I feeling this way? I wasn't suppose to feel this way for anyone. I was suppose to keep everyone at a distance, a distance that would ensure their safety. So then why?

My eyes lower some more, almost to a close. Why was I feeling this ache in my chest? Like my heart had sunk to the deepest and most profound part of my being?

_Pathetic._

Then, I hear footsteps and suddenly my door is kicked open, my head shoot to the door only to see Eren standing there with his foot in mid air. Had he just kicked my door? I was completely dumbfounded.

Eren walks in boldly, holding a tray of food in his hands, "Oh you're awake," he says as if I had not witnessed him kicking my door, "good, saves me the trouble of waking you up." He walks over to me and places the tray of food on my lap. I stare at it as if it were some foreign object.

"What is this?" I ask hesitantly and then I want to slap my face because that question sounded incredibly stupid. I hadn't meant for it to come out like that, I knew that it was food, obviously. I meant it in a different way, as in why did he make it for me.

But I couldn't think straight at the moment, Eren was here. Which meant that everything hadn't been a dream—this was real—Eren was real. He had stayed with me.

I was so happy, but I didn't let that show.

I felt the back of my eyes begin to sting and my throat constricts. I blinked away my tears discreetly before they can even form and I tucked the rest of my emotions behind my icy mask. Swiftly avoiding Eren's careful attention.

Eren placed his hands on his hips, unaware of my shakiness, "It's a unicorn, Mikasa." he says sarcastically. "What else could it be? It's food, you dummy!" Eren says.

"Why did you make this? Why are you here? What happened?" I ask rapidly. All these questions began to flood my mind and they all spilled out at once in a heap of scrambled words.

"Whoa, whoa! One at a time, please!" Eren threw his hands in the air as if I was pointing a gun at him, he grabs a chair and places it beside my bed.

"You don't remember?" he tilted his head to the side a bit, gazing at me with those beautiful eyes of his. "You fainted during school so I brought you home." Eren poked my forehead lightly, "You looked really weak, so I made you this meal. Have you being eating well lately?" Eren's eyes narrow slightly.

I gulped and looked away guiltily, my happiness quickly fading into nervousness. Eren stares at me like some hawk who was about to zero in on his prey.

"Have you been eating _well_?" Eren repeats his question more sternly, leaning in closer for emphasis. He beckons me to look up at him, but I refused to give him that pleasure.

"Why didn't you just leave me as soon as you placed me in bed?" I ask, deciding to change the subject. Maybe Eren would take the bait and drop the nutrition subject.

Eren huffed, "Why would I leave? How could I leave you here while you're in such a poor condition?" Eren glares down at me.

Will you look at that, he did take the bait after all.

"Now stop talking, you're still weak Mikasa, you need to eat." Eren says, grabbing hold of some chopsticks and taking some chicken off the plate and brings the food close to my mouth.

"Open wide," he smiles.

"What are you doing? I can do that myself." I say trying to take hold of the chopsticks but Eren swipes them away from me.

"Ah, ah, ah, I'm going to be the one feeding you, Mikasa!" Eren grins down at me, sending chills down my spine. This boy just affected me in everyway. I blush and make a move towards the chopsticks again but I kept missing, Eren was surprisingly fast, either that or I was still dizzy.

I could see that Eren enjoying every second of this. The gleam in his eyes indicating that he wasn't going to give up the chopsticks anytime soon. Deducing that I wasn't going to get very far with the tactic I was using, I decide to grab hold of Eren's wrist and bring the food towards my mouth and bite down, I lick the chopsticks just for the kick of it and I see Eren blush a bit.

"Didn't expect me to do that, did you?" I say greatly satisfied with myself. Truthfully, I wasn't hungry but getting that reaction out of Eren was perfect.

"Technically, I still fed you though." Eren says as he hands me the chopsticks, his emerald eyes drifting to my neck. What was he looking at—

"You're wearing my scarf," he points out, I look down to examine myself. To be honest, I hadn't even realized I was wearing his scarf up until now. I remembered sleeping with the scarlet scarf the night Eren had given it to me. I loved breathing in his sent, it soothed me.

I had loved the feel of the soft fabric against my cheek, and I felt this sort of attachment towards the red muffler. But I knew I would have to return the garment eventually.

Placing my chopsticks down, I uncoiled the warm scarf from my neck, instantly feeling cold but I hand it to him anyway.

"Whoa there! What are you doing?" Eren placed his hand on top of mine, pushing the scarf back to me.

"I was returning your scarf," I say.

"You don't need to do that, you can keep it," Eren says, giving me a gentle smile that took my breath away. "It looks better on you anyway."

I looked down at my plate, hoping to hide my embarrassment from him. _What does Eren think of me?_ I wonder suddenly. _And what do I think of him?_ I begin to ponder the thought. _Eren is—Eren is—_

What was he to me?

"Hey," Eren calls out but I wasn't listening, I was in another world.

_What do I feel for him?_

"Hey!"

His voice was a distant murmur now. I didn't know why these questions bothered me so much. Why did I even care? But I did care, I argued, I cared greatly.

I look up at Eren, hoping to find some answers in his eyes, only to find him staring at me already. Suddenly, I realized that his hand was on top of mine and his face was a little too close for comfort.

"Mikasa I—" Eren pauses, looking at me with this sort of desperation in his eyes, one that I couldn't exactly explain. What did he want from me? Anything he would ask I would do, I decided at the moment. I was at his mercy.

I look up at Eren expectantly, my heart racing within my chest. I could practically hear it in my ears. Eren's eyelids lower a bit, his gaze burning a hole through mine and I feel his hand squeeze mine reassuringly.

_Stay calm, _I think as he inches closer, a half-lidded gaze painted across his beautiful and masculine face. I panic then but I didn't dare make a move, I was frozen. I was scared that if I moved Eren would hesitate and stop what he was doing.

So I remain paralyzed, entranced by Eren's golden eyes. I could feel the heat radiating off his smooth skin, and then his forehead and nose touched mine, but my lips remained untouched. I close my eyes out of fear and embarrassment at the proximity of our faces.

No human being has been this close to me.

I was so sure he was going to kiss me. I had never been kissed before. How does it feel? How do you even kiss? Was I going to be bad? What should I do? But more importantly, why hasn't he kissed me?

"Mikasa—" I hear Eren repeat my name like a chant, as he begins to slowly slide his nose down my own teasingly. His voice calms me once again and kicks the worries out of my head and all form of reasoning.

Eren's voice was deep and husky, I couldn't describe it with words but it awoke a primal instinct within me that I didn't know I had. I was burning up inside and I knew I probably had a huge blush plastered across my face.

I felt Eren's breath tickle my lips as he closes in and then—

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

We both jerk away at the speed of light with matching shocked looks on our faces. Although, after a while, Eren's face broke out into an irritated glare. "Shit, who the fuck is it?" he curses out loud. The knocking hadn't ceased and Eren got fed up, he rose and began walking towards the door.

"I'll see who it is." he growls through clenched teeth.

"No! Wait!" I call out to him, I tried running but my socks made me stumbled a bit on the wooden floor. As I round the corner I only hoped that Eren hadn't reached the door yet, but it was too late, Eren was opening the front door.

I felt a cold chill run up my spine. This wasn't going to be good.

"Who are you?" Eren's sounded offended, but his back prevented me from seeing who the person was. I pushed Eren out of the way only find the jaded glare of Levi staring back at me.

_Well, shit._

* * *

Cliffies make me smile.

Guys, I want you all to know that I put forth a lot of vigorous editing into these chapters TT_TT

So atleast tell me what you think? I actually got kind of discouraged that my other chapters didn't get that many reviews, I worked kind of hard on them.

Please tell me what you think.  
-BTR


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin

Original creator: Hajime Isayama.

Misspelling and stuff, yeah, sorry bout that, when I edit these chapters I usually have a range of four to five hours of sleep in my system, so im sorry in advance if there are any grammatical errors or if it seems sloppy.

* * *

It made sense now why Mikasa was unable to see Levi at first, the man was so short that Eren's back covered him entirely. Mikasa stared at Levi with a quizzical expression, a hint of dread in her dark orbs, though, hardly noticeable.

Levi noticed it, though. Smelled her fear, he knew her well, after all. Levi made a motion with his head, "Mikasa, we have a few things to discuss." he said in a flat voice. His expression unchanging, just as plain and cold as always.

"Now?" Mikasa said and Levi suppressed the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. His glare deepened and Mikasa wanted to bow her head in shame. She knew that was a stupid question to ask her superior. She shouldn't have to question him at all.

Eren looked at Levi defensively, he wondered what this man wanted with Mikasa. The ebony-haired man was shorter than him in stature and he wore a hostile glare upon his face. Eren noticed the man was also dressed neatly in a black suit and a simple white button-up shirt, the stranger also wore an unusual white cravat around his collared neck.

'That's something you don't see everyday.' Eren mused, but those details were trivial. Right now, Eren's primal instincts kicked in, he almost wanted to hide Mikasa behind him, creating a wall between her and the strange man in front of her.

"Today, Ackerman." Levi demanded, becoming impatient.

"No," came Eren's voice before he could stop it himself, Mikasa turns to look at Eren with a surprised look. Levi glances at Eren, he studies his face for a while which made Eren uncomfortable.

"I didn't ask you now did I, brat?" Levi said, glaring harshly at Eren, "Why don't you scram?".

"Hell no, who are you to tell me what to do?" Eren said, unfazed by Levi's glare.

"I suggest leaving before I pick your ass up and throw you out myself." Levi threatened.

"Like to see you try." Eren scowled, looking down at Levi.

Levi only sighed, he found this young boy extremely exasperating. Noticing Levi's ill state, Mikasa motioned Eren toward the door, "Eren, I think you should go." she said. Eren turned to give Mikasa a look of disbelief. "Why should I go?" Eren asked, dabbing a finger to his chest. He looked for Mikasa's eyes but the girl was staring ahead.

"This is important." was Mikasa's vague reply, she turns and locks eyes with Eren. Levi remains silent, examining the exchange between the two carefully. Eren stayed quiet for a while as well, he contemplated whether he should stay or leave. He didn't trust this person at all and even though he knew Mikasa could handle herself, he still felt this sense of anxiety fill the center of his chest when he thought about leaving her alone with him.

But Mikasa's eyes stopped him from protesting. 'This is important', they told him. 'Trust me,' they said. He didn't want to trust them, but he did. He did it for Mikasa.

"Fine I'll go." Eren said skeptically, he made this sound within in his throat, a disappointed kind of growl. "I'll see you at school then," Eren told Mikasa, bypassing Levi with on last delicate frown. Levi's eyes remained on Eren as he passed 's eyes, although hollow and flat, held something behind them that made Eren uneasy.

Mikasa was glad Eren didn't protest, she didn't want him to leave but the matters she would discuss with Levi were confidential. Mikasa watched Eren leave until he was only a speck in the distance.

'It's dark,' she noted, 'When did it get so late?' she wondered, staring off into the infinite darkness that was the night sky. Mikasa shut the door and locked it, she faced Levi who was already seated on her couch.

"Mikasa, who was that kid?" Levi questioned as he twirled a bit of dust between his thumb and index finger that he had picked up off the small table next to him. "More importantly, when was the last time you cleaned this shitty place?" he shot a rather nasty glare at Mikasa.

"That's none of your business." Mikasa retorted, calm and collective as always. She had no time for small talk, she wanted to get straight to business. The faster Levi allocated his commands the faster she could execute them and get it over with.

"You didn't answer my question," he said, locking eyes with his young pupil.

"I did," Mikasa responded.

"No, you didn't. What's your relationship with that boy?" Levi inquired and Mikasa's eyes narrowed a bit. It was unusual for Levi to be asking those kinds of questions. He seemed honestly interested in the answer, which wasn't good. Usually, Levi was indifferent to her social life—could scarcely be called a social life—but Levi always seemed uninterested. He never picked at her own affairs.

Why was he so interested now.

"He's a friend from school, why do you ask?" Mikasa said indignantly.

"A friend?" Levi sounded incensed.

"You're not developing a relationship with that boy, are you? You know the rules." Levi said, looking around her apartment plainly, he looked impassive but Mikasa knew he meant business. Levi's eyes danced back to Mikasa only to find her looking at him fiercely, she was trying to hold in her anger, she was trying to stay calm like she always appeared to be but it wasn't quite working this time.

Levi made note of that.

"Why do you care? You've never cared before." Mikasa said, her tone as sharp as knives.

"You're such a rude brat, you know that?" Levi grimaced, placing his ankle over his knee, he put his hands on top of either side of the couch, relaxing as if it was his own home. Ever so carefully, Levi laid his head backwards, a stressful sigh escaping his thin lips. Mikasa stared at Levi dully, she deducted that her superior was probably exhausted from a mix of work and stress. A deadly combination that she understood all too well.

"Are you tired?" Mikasa questioned the coarse clean-freak.

"Fucking tired," Levi admitted dryly as he shut his eyes. Mikasa couldn't help the slight dip of worry enter her system, despite her apparent coldness towards her mentor, she did care, mind you.

"Maybe you shoul—" Mikasa began only to be cut off by Levi.

"I know what you're going to say, 'relax, sleep a bit' but how can you expect me to relax when this place is a filthy mess. How can anyone sleep here? Have you even cleaned this place?" Levi said, looking up at the ceiling. He noticed how filthy this place made him feel, how he had the arduous desire to turn the whole apartment complex over and clean every inch of it.

Then, maybe he could relax fully. However, in all honesty, Mikasa's apartment wasn't all that grim, it was only the clean-freak's constant paranoia that made him feel incapacitated at times. In Levi's eyes everything was filthy, he perceived everyone with a poignant filth that clung to their skin, the things they touched undoubtedly becoming contaminated with the filth in their hearts.

Levi knew all too well that Mikasa was as dirty as he was, the black stains that splattered onto their shirts and hands. Especially their hands, it was a constant reminder of who they were, what they were.

_Murderers._

Levi could see it, like some dark smoke smoldering above everyone, it showed their mistakes, how they were far from pure. No one was spared from those dark patches surrounding their bodies because everyone in some way or form had sinned.

Everyone in a sense was 'dirty', but when Levi looked in the mirror—it was him who had the blackest soul. He was the dirtiest of them all. Blood stained his hands, his clothes, and his silken hair.

"_I am disgusting,"_ he had repeated over and over again at one point of his pitiful life. He had been so broken that he had gone days just staring off into space, void of any feeling in his hands and body. He would sit in his vacant room all day and night, he would do things mechanically with no sense of the person within him. He felt incredibly numb.

Until he had met Mikasa, or better put, _saved_ Mikasa. She was only a child when Levi had found her, bruised and beaten but she had done the impossible: she had killed three men.

Her parents were dead, though, and it looked like she had been laying unconscious for a couple of days because the bodies around her were rotting and the stench emanating from them was thick and suffocating.

Levi was astonished to find Mikasa's faint breath and heartbeat, she was almost completely gone. The night he found her and placed her under the care of a hospital owned by the agency was the same day he had enslaved her for eternity.

Levi knew, he knew that by saving her he was sealing her fate simultaneously. The girl would draw the agencies attention, they would zero in on her and force her to be killing machine, much like himself.

At the time, though, Levi was indifferent to the girl's fate, he only took her in because he thought the agency might want her; they were always looking for new blood to join the ranks, especially human prodigies and by God, Mikasa was a prodigy.

Though, when Erwin assigned Levi to be her mentor he flat out refused. "I don't mentor brats," he had said but there was no discussion when it came down to orders from the agency. So Levi was obligated to train the girl and teach her his ways.

Mikasa was insufferable at first, she refuses to do much and always hid under things found in her room, she always tried to hide from Levi as well, she wouldn't talk and was often scared to even look into Levi's eyes. But, eventually Levi broke her like a horse, enough so that it became ordinary for Levi to order her around.

And when she was finally subdued he trained her. Her inborn fighting skills was what impressed Levi, though, he always gazed at her with stone cold eyes.

"I'm not your father, nor will I ever be. Don't forget that, I'm here to train you, not to hold your hand." Levi had drilled that sentence into Mikasa so many times, he could see how his words shattered her, made her despise him, but he preferred it that way. It would make her a greater assassin if she was filled with hate. It wasn't until later that Levi regretted treating Mikasa that way.

Levi had developed a soft spot for the young girl, he found himself worrying about her when she went on missions. He felt guilty for many years, and even though Mikasa had assured him when she had matured that all was forgiven, Levi never truly forgave himself.

Her soul was tainted black, along with his now. That was something Levi could never forgive himself for.

He would look at her and see the smudges of black tint on her hands and clothes, all around her apartment and her belongings. It was all his fault. They were both so filthy, it wasn't something visual, however, it was all in their heads.

But to Levi it was all too real.

Therefore, Levi cleaned everything he could get his hands on. Desperately scouring at everything around him, attempting to regain that sense of virtue he had lost long ago. Without fail he would wear his clean and white cravat which gave him an air of cleanliness. A means of escape from the asphyxiating world he lived in.

"Are you asleep?" came the dull voice of Mikasa Ackerman. Levi, who had been caught in a trance, quietly focused back into reality. He was spacing out too much for his liking.

He fixed his jaded gaze on Mikasa and gave her soft scowl, "I'm warning you now, Mikasa. Stay away from people at school, you know from experience nothing good comes from it." he said, watching Mikasa's stone-cold gaze harden, her silence assured him that Mikasa was bothered.

"What do you want?" Mikasa finally spoke. She let her emotions spill out too easily now, Levi was rather disappointed, he thought he had trained Mikasa more efficiently.

"You have another job," he announced, raising his torso from the couch. Mikasa only nodded, Levi took out a small envelope from within his black suit, getting up, he stepped in front Mikasa and handed it to her. Mikasa grabbed the small package and opened it, she began to read its contents as Levi strode across the room to the door.

"He's a man around mid-thirties, his name is Arthur Cane. He's a shopkeeper but he's been known to be apart of the human trafficking that's been going on, disgusting creep really. He probably has a band of bandits with him as well, take care of them." Levi paused, looking at Mikasa from the corner of his eye. "And this time make sure there are no witnesses. Don't mess up again Mikasa." Levi's cold gaze pierced through Mikasa, letting her know there was no room for error again.

"Yes sir," Mikasa rose from her seat, her blank eyes coated with guilt narrowed as she made her way to her room. Going into her closet, she pulled out a black leather jacket and placed the fabric over her well-built frame. Walking toward the adjacent wall, she placed her porcelain hands on the smooth wall, finding a break in the wood she dislodging it out of place.

Mikasa extracted a slender black katana draped in matching black robes, she undid the sash that held the robes together and exposed the handle. Drawing the blade, Mikasa allowed the moonlight to radiate off its cold steel.

Such beauty, such delicate and miniature details crafted into its handle, time and effort were put in designing this blade, yet, all she was using it for were disgraceful acts. Mikasa gazed at the blade for a moment longer, eyes void of any emotion. She knew what this night would contain and she mentally prepared herself for what was to come. It was a ritual for her, one that Mikasa performed every night.

As Mikasa sheathed her sword back into its case she resided to the deepest part of her being as well, where her sanity, her emotions and what ever chemical composed her laid safely and protected from her actions.

Mikasa trained her eyes to see but not perceive, her hands to touch but not feel, her ears to listen but not hear. Her legs would move, yes, but the movement was mechanical. She hardened her heart as she prepared herself to set out for the kill.

It was the only way she could keep on living past the guilt. Years of honing these attributes transformed her into a living and breathing statue.

That was what she felt like anyway: dead weight.

Mikasa wrapped the strap that held the cloth and scabbard together around her shoulder as she headed out into the cold night. Levi had already disappeared, leaving her to to the agency's bidding. The night seemed to be hostile and in a foul mood as well, the moon was obscured behind a thick layer of dark clouds.

Mikasa pressed Eren's scarf closer to her nose, inhaling his crisp scent. She loved the images that his scent inspired, images of warmth and happiness, a feeling of being home. He was home to her, even though she didn't know what a home felt like, yet, Mikasa imagined that the feeling she received when being around Eren was much like home.

'What would you think of me if you saw me like this?' Mikasa averted her gaze to the ground, she walked through the vacant streets that were consumed in darkness. Thoughts of Eren nestled themselves in her mind as she began to gain speed, the brittle and cold air biting at her skin but Mikasa was unaware of the feeling.

Her mind became her enemy as she zipped through the streets, heading towards her target. Her mind was telling her to turn back now, to run and never look back. To keep running until her legs could feel no more.

Such a fragile thought. Could it really be accomplished?

Time seemed to pass by unnoticed and soon Mikasa found herself in front of her destination. Her movements were mechanical as she slid behind some trees, staring at a light that came from inside the store. She could distinguish figures talking and moving inside.

_Human trafficking. _Simple words that held a deep and heavy meaning. After all, that particular subject hit close to home.

Mikasa's stomach began to churn and twist, trashing widely. She forced the bile down her throat. These men were the scum of earth, but then, wasn't she the same? She was spilling blood, guilty blood, yes, but who was she to decide who died and who lived.

Mikasa shook her head. 'This isn't my bidding,' she reminded herself.

It almost felt like a game, all this wasn't real. Defeat the bad guy, help the princess escape, that sort of thing. A game. That was what this was. Nothing more, nothing less.

Mikasa moved closer to the building, the wind whispering against her ears, she placed her back to the cold brick wall. The store was conveniently placed on the outskirts of the city, away from the noisy streets and next to a collection of trees. The wind would mask their screams, the night would cloak their blood.

_Turn back now_, her mind bellowed. "I can't," she whispered against the night.

In a swift movement, Mikasa climbed up the roof, using crevices in the wall and objects to her advantage. She was skillful at these kinds of things, after all, she had done it all her life. Once on top, Mikasa examined the flat roof, it was safe so she walked ahead. She spotted the electrical box and advanced towards it.

Firmly grasping the sword behind her, she slid it gracefully out of its sheath and swung it to her side, clutching at it desperately as she cut the foggy air. Opening the box, Mikasa slashed through all the wires, cutting off the lights from within. She would use the darkness to her advantage.

Everything went dark and panic arose into the air like smoke. Mikasa heard the men within begin to scream incoherent words, shouting out desperate commands. Not wasting another minute Mikasa slipped inside quietly, walking down the flight of stairs and into a corridor. She slipped into the dark hallway stealthily, as if she belonged to the darkness itself.

Mikasa heard frantic footsteps make their way in her direction but the person was unaware of her presence. The person's boss probably sent him to check on the electrical wires, they had sent him to his death.

Mikasa hid behind the shadows, as the man passed by in a fluid motion he was cut down. The man emitted a loud and hollow scream before Mikasa finished him off with a slice to his neck.

The men at the front of the store all jolted in surprise, they had been lax at first but now they all rose in dismay. Their blood running cold and gasps stuck to their throats, their vision hindered by the blackness before them.

"What the fuck was that?" one screamed in the dark.

"Is someone here? Fuck—I can't see shit!" a hoarse voice yelled. "Get your guns!"

Mikasa emerged from the dark corridor at the very far end of the store, she stared ahead impassively, swiping the blood of her sword. There were aisles full of merchandise that obscured her view, she couldn't see her quarry but she could hear them. They were loud, like deer caught in a snare.

Mikasa could pinpoint with precise accuracy where each individual was. Walking down a slim aisle, Mikasa gripped the handle of her sword tightly. There was a man at the end, his back turned towards her as he struggled to see in the dark. Without so much as a sound, Mikasa slipped her sword against his throat and in a swift motion the air became sprayed with red.

The man's body fell limply against the ground, the loud thud of his corps alarming the rest of the group. They all turned towards the source of the noise to catch a glimpse of dull red colors flash towards them, they had no time to react. Mikasa slashed at them with her sword, the sound of blood being splattered on the floor resonating off the walls.

One man was lucky enough to point his gun blindly at Mikasa but his content was cut short. Before he could register what happened, his hand fell limply to the floor. The man stared at it in disbelief, as if he could not register what had happened.

A scream was caught in his throat and it was as if he had forgotten how to breath, until that scream ripped through the store. It appeared as if the night's shadow had come to life and was now seeking revenge on each and everyone of them for their sinful deeds. That was what the men in the store saw with their eyes, what they believed.

"It's a ghost!" one screamed.

"Someone turn on the fucking lights! Jesus Christ!" one hollered out in desperation, as they began to fire their guns aimlessly into the dark but Mikasa cut them all down, all but one who managed to escape and make it outside. Mikasa stepped out of the store and into the light of the impassive moon, moving after the frantic man in front of her.

He had a gash across his fat stomach, he clumsily fell to the moody ground with a moan. He looked back at Mikasa in disbelief, anger and fear in his eyes, then he caught a glimpse of her shimmering sword coated in red and his eyes widened with dread. The man desperately tried to back away, kicking his legs on the ground at first, but the pain was intense and too much for him to bare.

"You—" he managed to choke out. "Please don't kill me, I'll—I'll do anything! I'll pay you hundreds, thousands! Who are you working for? I can offer you much more—please!" he begged, a trembling hand extended towards Mikasa in defeat. Mikasa bore holes into the man's skull.

'Their all the same, nothing but money on their mind.' Mikasa thought.

She stepped in front of the man, the clouds uncovered the moon for a moment, generously shining its pale light against her blank stare. It was then that the man knew from Mikasa's hollow gaze that there was no hope for him. He couldn't pay his way out of this one.

"Arthur Cane," Mikasa whispered, looking down at the man, her eyes almost gentle yet threatening. "Your time has come." Without so much as a warning Mikasa cut through the man swiftly, the sword doing its work and cutting through the smooth flesh with ease. The man didn't have time to scream, Mikasa gave him a fast and clean death, releasing him from his pain. Some of his scarlet blood splashed against her cheek, but it was like mud to her.

It was not blood to Mikasa, it was only soil from the ground.

"It's the only way," Mikasa kept repeating into the night, like a chant. It was the only way to keep herself sane, as long as she hid behind the iron maiden of guilt she had created she would be safe. Reality was just another term for insanity to her. 'Hide from reality,' she kept thinking.

Mikasa looked down at the stiff corpse on the ground, how the dark blood collected and blended in with the mud. She looked at her hands and how they stained with the thick scarlet liquid, grimacing, Mikasa pulled out her cellphone.

She informed Levi that the job was done, they would take care of the rest. The people locked away inside the store were no longer her business. Sure, Mikasa had saved them and she did care about their safety, but it was better for her to remain unknown. The agency would come and handle them, her job here was done. And just like a shadow, Mikasa disappeared back into the endless sea of trees she had emerged from.

* * *

The next day Eren tried asking Mikasa what had happened after he left last night but Mikasa only looked at him with dead eyes. Shrugging her shoulders, she told Eren not worry about it, yet, that only made him worry even more.

She was acting distant and cold, she was still as silent as usual but there was something ominous behind her silence.

"You're not going to tell me are you, Mikasa?" Eren asked, clear disappointment edged into his voice. Mikasa's eyes danced up to Eren and she sighed.

"He was an old friend, he just wanted to talk and catch up." Mikasa said, looking away from the brunet. "That's all," she finished but inside she was disgusted with herself. Lying to Eren was the last thing she wanted to do.

Eren's gaze lingered on Mikasa, he knew she was lying, that man did not look like a friend at all. Eren had been there, he had witnessed how Mikasa became stiff with fear upon seeing the man and how her whole demeanor seemed to change in an instant. He knew that she was not the type to have friends over either, much less talk about mindlessly things. Eren knew better than that, but he decided to let it go.

He couldn't force her to tell him anything she didn't want to. Right?

"Alright…" Eren turned away, his eyes downcast, his voice only above a whisper. Mikasa felt guilt take root, she suppressed the urge to look at Eren.

Suddenly then, Connie came into class, looking alarmed and frantic. "Hey did you guys hear about the men that went missing last night?" he said loudly. Everyone turned to look at him, everyone except Mikasa.

"Someone went missing last night? How scary!" Sasha jumped up from her chair, beads of sweat began to form on her forehead as she chewed on a piece of bread.

"What happened?" Krista asked, truthfully concerned, the whole group leaned in closer to listen to Connie's story.

"I don't really know all the details, but you know how I told you my dad is the chief of police? Well, he told me that seven men went missing last night! And this isn't the first time something like this has happened either, apparently many have gone missing over the course of months." Connie said with large eyes, he moved his hands up and down to emphasize the seriousness of the situation.

"Someone is going around kidnapping people?" Jean asked, unfazed by the information, one hand rested on his chin. Unlike his freckled friend Marco, who looked a bit pale, Jean was as calm as a cucumber.

"Yeah, and they haven't been found yet, wait, I think one has been found but his body was mutilated beyond recognition. Someone is going around kidnapping people and murdering them, but that's not the strangest part. These men have all being found guilty of committing really terrible crimes! Like the men that went missing last night, they were part of this infamous human trafficking gang that's been going on. They even found people in the store last night!" Connie exclaimed, earning a gasp from the girls and a shiver from the boys. The only two that seemed unaffected by the news were Mikasa—who remained facing the front—and the ever stoic Annie.

"That's really creepy! And no one knows who's doing it?" Krista asked, Sasha nodded her head in agreement as she took a mouth full of bread, her hands shaking as she did so. "Yeah, we don't know who the sick bastards are yet." Connie admitted.

"So then, who ever is doing this is actually doing good." Eren proclaimed, gaining everyone's attention, they stared at him as if he had sprouted an extra arm.

"Eren, this person is a murderer." Marco reasoned hesitantly.

"Right," Eren agreed, "but listen, this person is murdering scumbags who cause nothing but destruction, isn't it a good thing then, that their ridding them from the world?" Eren pointed out. The whole class remained silent, they didn't know what to think now, Eren made a valuable point but still—it was human life they were talking about. Murder couldn't be the right thing to do, could it?

"Who do these people think they are? God? They can't play God and decide who should die or who shouldn't." Connie said.

"Well, isn't your father going to do the same thing? This whole damn place is going to capture those men and judge their fate, no? According to your logic, they shouldn't play God either, then." Eren said.

"Its different!"

"How so? Just because its the law? Men you think are doing the right thing? Their as corrupt as the murderer." Eren said.

"Damn you, Eren!" Connie got up but Jean stopped his bald classmate.

Jean fixed Eren with a scowl, "Why are you so quick to defend those kinds of people, Eren?"

"I'm not defending them, I'm just speaking the truth. If someone is murdering scum from the earth then that shouldn't be a bad thing, if this person was murdering the innocent then there's a problem. But as long as their killing people who do nothing but destroy the world then they shouldn't be hunted down." Eren finished, his unwavering deceleration stared down by his classmates quizzical stares.

Armin stared at Eren and silently wondered why he would go into such detail.

"You may be right, Eren" Connie pushed Jean away, "But if these people want to capture scum they can join the police, they have to go by the system."

"Fuck the system, its corrupt, too." Eren gave Connie a sideways glance.

"You're an asshole, Yeager." Connie grimaced.

"Well, whatever is right or wrong its still really scary! How can anyone eat in peace now?" Sasha exclaimed, shaking her head as if to shake off the mental images. Sasha turned to look at Mikasa then, she felt like the ebony-haired girl was left out of the conversation and she was kind of curious as to what Mikasa thought of the whole situation.

"What do you think Mikasa? Isn't that really scary?" Sasha asked and everyone stared between Sasha and Mikasa. Mikasa did not make a move to respond.

"Eh? She didn't reply..." Sasha pouted lightly, disappointed. "What did you expect Sasha? You asked Mikasa! You know she doesn't say much." Connie responded, poking the girl in the head. Eren turned to look at Mikasa, he noticed that her eyes seemed void, they were dark pools of emptiness.

He felt unsettled by this but he couldn't say anything to her now, he would have to be more discreet.

Soon, the teacher came in and started class, unknown to everyone, Mikasa was clutching at her skirt tightly underneath the table. Terrible images filling her head. She was being tormented.

During lunch Mikasa escaped to the outside, she even left Eren and Armin behind. She didn't want them to look at her, to see her repulsive form, smell her bloodstained hands. It was a stench that unsettled her stomach, of course, it was all in her her but she felt as if someone had jabbed her in the gut.

Avoiding her usual spot in fear that she might be found by Eren, Mikasa went to the back of the school.

'He would ask questions,' Mikasa thought, placing her back to a brick wall, 'and I wouldn't be able to answer them.' she reasoned.

Although Mikasa was avoiding Eren, her feelings were contradicting her actions because she wanted to see him. She wanted to be able to share a mutual friendship with him and yet that was too risky. What was she going to do? Her heart was telling her one thing while her mind was shouting out another.

Mikasa felt herself breaking, she couldn't take much more of this. She regret ever meeting Eren

Mikasa eyes widen, then she lowers them to glare at the blades of grass down below. 'No, I don't regret meeting Eren, I regret getting attached.' Mikasa thought as her fist clench and her jaw tightened. All she wanted to do was ride herself from these pointless feelings that were driving her to a corner. She was yielding so easily to her emotions, Mikasa dispised herself.

'Levi was right, I should have just stayed away.' Mikasa thought, closing her eyes.

'How did I get myself into this mess?' she thought as she bowed her head, her short raven hair covering her dejected eyes. 'Maybe, it's because I'm tired of being alone. Maybe I'm sick of being a hollow shell all the time, I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to live.' Mikasa opened her eyes, thinking of Eren and Armin.

'What's so special about them?' she wondered. She couldn't fathom the answer but she had an incredible desire to be around them, especially Eren. He was her guilty pleasure that burned deep within her soul.

'But I can't...' she thought as she let her head hang lower, her neck aching.

"I found you!" a voiced yelled over her thoughts causing Mikasa's head to snap up and turn to see who it was. Eren panted as he placed a hand on the other end of the brick wall, his torso was bent and his left hand laid on his knee for support. His back was rising and falling rapidly as he struggled to suck in as much air as he could, he looked up at Mikasa, beads of sweat rolling down his sun-kissed face as he panted.

"You—" Mikasa mumbled without thinking, he was the first and last thing she wanted to see right now. Eren recollected himself as he began to amble towards Mikasa. He wasn't looking at her though, his head was bowed, his bangs covering his eyes. Eren stepped in front of her without saying a word, calm and unprovoked but still refusing to look up at her.

Mikasa on the other hand, had her heart in her throat, staring feverishly down at Eren, she couldn't make sense of the situation. She wanted to run but that was too obvious and cowardly, pride and desire tethered her to remain where she was.

In a split second, Eren slammed his palms on either side of Mikasa's head, his hands touching the rough and cool brick wall in front of him. He breathed in deeply and made a sound in his throat that Mikasa couldn't understand. Was he angry? Bothered? Sad?

Eren looked up at Mikasa with a stern look, one that made Mikasa's blood run cold and heart throb.

"You—why did you leave?" Eren demanded, his voice deep and dark.

"Leave?" Mikasa feigned confusion, she averted her gaze from Eren's.

"Don't bullshit me." Eren saw right through her.

"I'm not,"

"You ran away from me, then?" he tried.

"No."

"Liar," Eren narrowed his eyes, Mikasa's eyes on the other hand remained neutral, then a crazy idea popped in his head. He figured that this was the only way to open her up, the only way to rattle her up enough to provoke some form of action on her part, he was sick of her cool demeanor.

He didn't care if Mikasa protested, he would go through with it. Eren gulped and did the very thing he had been craving to do ever since the incident in her apartment: he wrapped his tan arms around Mikasa's body tightly. Mikasa's eyes widened instantly, wildly and madly as she struggled like a raging bull.

She tried pushing Eren away but he only squeezed her even tighter against him, wrapping his arms around her like a deadly boa constrictor, he was putting strain on her. Mikasa wanted to punch Eren, she wanted to do something, anything to get him off of her.

Her body was flush against his and Mikasa could feel every inch of him, causing her heart to leap out of her body, she could hear it in her ears and feel it with every pulse. A rosy blush engulfed her porcelain face.

"Eren!" Mikasa gasped out as she tried to wriggle out of Eren's tight grip. "You're holding me too tightly, Eren!" she said, moving against Eren some more. In her attempt to wriggle free Mikasa rubbed Eren the wrong way, rubbing against his pants which set off a big alarm in Eren's brain.

"Christ! Mikasa, stop moving like that!" Eren threatened, his breath hitching; Mikasa was moving against him so much that he was actually becoming aroused. He could feel every move she made and it was driving him crazy.

'How could an innocent embrace turn into such a nightmare?' Eren though painfully. He was becoming erect and he only prayed to God that Mikasa hadn't noticed, or felt... she would notice soon though.

"Great," Eren hissed.

"Wha—" Mikasa gasped then, she felt something foreign poke her lower regions, she felt Eren stiffen against her as well, a pained expression on his face.'What is that?' Mikasa thought feeling the sensation press against her skirt and leg, she remained calm for Eren's sake though, the poor boy was beet red with a scowl so deep he would drown.

'Geez, this girl, she's so stupid! But, she feels so nice against me.' Eren admitted guilty shutting his eyes.

"Eren, what is poking at me dow—" Mikasa began but Eren became crazily embarrassed. He wanted her to shut up right now! He didn't want to respond to her stupidly embarrassing question. Eren did the only thing he could do to shut Mikasa up, and with their proximity it was extremely convenient.

Eren smashed his lips against Mikasa's parted ones, he heard her gasp a little into his mouth which was honey to his ears.

Well, it worked, he had shut her up but now—

'She is so going to kick my ass after this! But it's worth it.' Eren thought wistfully as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, he breathed her into his mouth. Eren became entranced with the feel of Mikasa's soft and warm lips against his own, he pressed his body against her. He didn't care what the consequences of his actions would bring him anymore.

Mikasa's eyes remained wide and alert as Eren deepened the kiss. She felt awkward and her whole body went rigid instantly, she had never been this intimate with a boy before. She often got made fun of by Levi because she was so naive and callow, but now Mikasa didn't know what to think of it. It felt so weird, so right, but so very weird. His mouth was wet and soft, which was surprising to her.

And it didn't help that she could still feel his painful erection on her skin. Being the inexperienced kisser that Mikasa was, she unconsciously held her breath throughout the whole exchange. She felt Eren move his hands to either side of her face as he unconsciously moaned to his movements, sending shivers down Mikasa's spine.

Unable to hold it any longer Mikasa pushed Eren away with all the might she had. Shocked, Eren stumbled backwards a bit, almost falling on his ass.

"How dare you! That—that was my first kiss!" Mikasa admitted, unable to keep her emotions in check, her cheeks were flush red and her voice raised in volumes. She felt her face and lips and it was hot to the touch, almost like burning coal.

"Well, who's fault was that? How else was I suppose to stop you from asking that stupid question!" Eren yelled out as well, his comeback was weak but he couldn't think of a better excuse for kissing her.

"It's you're fault for poking at me!" Mikasa retorted. Eren stared at Mikasa, had she just referred to his erection as 'poking' her? Eren deadpanned, he placed a hand over his face.

He looked down and realized he still had a faint bulge in his pants. 'Fucking perfect,' Eren rolled his eyes as he turned away from Mikasa in order to hide his bulge from her. 'Why am I so easily turned on by her?' Eren cursed his bad luck, glaring back at Mikasa.

"What was it? That poking sensation?" Mikasa asked, genuinely confused like some curious little cat. Eren snapped his head to stare at Mikasa in disbelief. He had to admit that he found her innocence extremely cute at the moment, but goddamn, she didn't know what a penis was?

"You really don't know?" Eren said.

"Should I know?" Mikasa narrowed her eyes.

"Didn't your parents teach you—I don't know, these kind of things?" Eren asked, Mikasa's eyes become cold. She turned and began to walk away; she didn't want to answer that question. She couldn't answer that question. Not now, not ever.

"Wait Mikasa! Where are you going?" Eren asked, reluctantly turning toward the stoic girl and running after her. He grabbed hold of her arm but she yanked it away.

"Leave me alone, I don't want to see you." Mikasa snapped.

"What? Why?" Eren barked, grabbing Mikasa's wrist once again.

Mikasa stayed silent, she did not know what to tell Eren. Her family was out of the question. So, should she tell him that she wanted to stay away from him because he made her heart race faster than a bullet? Or should she tell him that being around her would probably get him killed? Which one was better?

"Just leave me alone," she said lowly, "please."

"No! Why should I? I don't want to—hey, look at me!" Eren said becoming frustrated with Mikasa's downcast gaze. Eren placed his forehead on hers, forcing her head up with his hands, Mikasa stared at him blankly. Eren's eyes softened, he never meant to hurt Mikasa.

"Mikasa, I want you to feel safe around me." Eren voiced his thoughts without a hint of regret.

"Why?" Mikasa asked.

"I can't explain it, I just do," Eren closed his jade-colored eyes, "don't ask me to explain something I don't even know myself. I have to admit something. I got mad yesterday, I was mad at that guy for coming to your apartment. I was even more frustrated when you told me to leave. I can't explain it Mikasa, you're just... complicated." Eren finished.

"Complicated?" Mikasa repeated.

"Yes! But its not your fault, its mine! Or, at least I think it is," Eren scratched his head, wondering what exactly he was trying to say, much to Mikasa bewilderment.

"I don't understand," Mikasa frowned.

"Neither do I but look, I—" Eren was about to finish his sentence when the bell rang. 'Why does something always interrupt me when I'm trying to do or say something important?' Eren mentally face-palmed. 'well, at least my erection went down, right?

Call it a bright side to the situation?

"We should go," Mikasa said, tugging at Eren's shirt, she was actually happy that Eren cared so much about her but she knew it was wrong. Eren sighed and bowed his head in defeat. "Fine," he muttered, "but first I have to go to the restroom." he said, heading off in a different direction.

"Okay," Mikasa said as she headed to class, raping her red scarf tighter around her neck. She thought of Eren's embrace and kiss, she could still feel his strong arms encircled her body. She could also feel the lingering tingle in her lips where Eren had kissed her, it felt odd to be kissed for the first time, but Mikasa didn't hate the feeling. Especially when it came from Eren. 'I wonder if he would ever do that again?' Mikasa wondered momentarily as she sat down in her desk.

Meanwhile, Eren was in the boys restroom making sure that the evidence of his arousal had died down completely. Once secure, Eren pressed his head against the stall, he sighed and smiled. He had finally done it: he had finally kissed Mikasa Ackerman. It was a challenge, but he had been craving to do it ever since the day he got caught off from his advances by the scowling shorty. Eren wondered momentarily if Mikasa would let him do that again.

'Let's not be too hopeful.' he thought, heading toward class.

* * *

During six block, Mikasa and Eren avoided each other's gazes. Even though both of them acted collective on the outside, both were beyond nervous on the inside. With Eren occasionally stealing nervous glances at Mikasa from his seat, he seemed jittery.

Annie noticed his edgy state and became kind of annoyed. 'What's up with him?' she wondered. She lightly kicked Eren's desk which made the auburn-haired boy snap out of his own world.

"What is it?" Eren mouthed towards Annie while the said girl remained unprovoked. She stared at Eren with humorless eyes for a moment longer, then she turned her icy-blue gaze towards the front again. Eren remained dumbfounded, he thought she needed something but apparently she didn't.

She was as confusing as ever.

"Now students, I have an exciting project for you all!" Their bright and bubbly teacher announced. "You all will be working in teams of two," the teacher clasped her hands together. "Now you may choose your partner, so choose wisely! Don't choose someone you know will slack off! Now, begin!" she declared.

Everyone scrambled to their feet, people started shouting out names, reserving one another for the assignment. Eren was heading toward Mikasa when a girl stepped in his way. He stared at her confused at first.

"Will you be my partner?" the girl asked with big, bright brown eyes. Eren wanted to work with Mikasa but he didn't want to come off as a jerk to the girl in front of him so he agreed.

"Sure," Eren said, giving Mikasa one last glance, Mikasa understood, she was disappointed that Eren couldn't be her partner, yet simultaneously relieved. She felt a kick to her heart but she ignored the feeling. Now, who was going to be her partner? Maybe she could get off with working alone. That sounded like a wonderful idea, but before she could begin to work Jean walked up to her.

"Hey Mikasa, do you want to work together?" Jean asked, scratching the back of his head. Mikasa looked up at Jean and nodded her head, he was a nice guy, even if she didn't know him well, Mikasa didn't mind working with him.

"Really? Great!" Jean grinned, he seemed surprised but he was happy that he got to work with the girl that held his secret affection. Eren glared at Jean from the other side of the room once he noticed he was working with Mikasa. 'Why did he have to work with her? Out of everyone in this fucking room, why did it have to be that horse-face?' Eren thought grimly but he went back to his work, focusing on that rather than on Mikasa.

While they worked, though, Eren couldn't help but become distracted by Mikasa and Jean. He kept shooting glances at them, fuming over the fact that Jean was smiling like some idiot.

"Eren, what's wrong?" the girl next to Eren asked, she had light brown hair and wore two low pigtails. Eren looked at the young girl and mumbled an apology.

Meanwhile, Jean wore a toothy smile, he saw the way Eren looked at them, the way his brows would knit together with every move he made next to Mikasa. The punk made it painfully obvious that he was irritated. Jean looked down at Mikasa while she worked, he wondered if she noticed the war she was caught in between.

She seemed oblivious to Eren's death glares though. 'Perfect.' Jean thought, losing himself in that beautiful black hair of hers. He leaned down just enough to get a whiff of her hair that smelled of cherry blossoms. 'Probably because she's always standing under them,' Jean thought.

He armed himself with valor and said:"H—hey, Mikasa, you have really pretty black hair!" Jean muttered quickly, a blush on his face, Mikasa looked up with those big, distant eyes of hers that made Jean's heart ache. He didn't like that look in her eyes.

"Thank you," she said, immediately going back to work. Jean let out a silent sigh of relief, he felt a load lift from his chest. He had finally done it, he had finally told Mikasa Ackerman something other than hi. That was a step forward on the right track, right? Jean still had high hopes that one day Mikasa would return his affection.

'Maybe one day," Jean thought wistfully. Returning to the real world, he decided to help Mikasa with the project. As they worked, Jean's hands kept brushing against Mikasa's paler ones.

They both looked up, Mikasa's dull eyes looked confused.

"Sorry," Jean backed off a bit, "your hands are very soft by the way." he added. Mikasa remained silent, she did not know what to say so she mumbled a quick thank you. She looked up at Eren out of curiosity and found him smiling with his partner, he looked like he was having fun doing the project. Mikasa's eyes lowered a bit, she was saddened by the fact that Eren was smiling with another girl. She wanted it to be her. That familiar kick in her heart was returning and Mikasa glared at it.

"That's not how you do it Mikasa, are you distracted?" Jean's voice brought Mikasa back from her reverie, she looked up at Jean with an apologetic look.

"Sorry," she muttered, stealing another glance at Eren.

"Here, let me show you," Jean offered. 'This is the perfect chance to help Mikasa!' he thought. It was also a rare opportunity, the girl seldom lost her sense of direction and she always seemed to know what to do. Yet, now she seemed lost and now he could help.

Jean had the perfect idea: he placed his hands on top of Mikasa's and guided her movements. The stoic girl stiffened at first, but did not protest or brush Jean away, much to Jean's pleasure.

Everyone in class glanced at Jean and Mikasa, "Are they going out?" some whispered, "No, I thought Mikasa and Eren had something going on?" others replied. Eren looked at Jean with a cold glare, what the fuck did that horse-face think he was doing, placing his hands on Mikasa like that.

Eren felt the urge to walk up to Jean and rip his hands off, but that was out of the question. He couldn't afford to make such a big scene. But that didn't stop his blood from boil with jealousy when he saw Jean take her hands, and it didn't help to know that Jean had a crush on Mikasa either. Soon however, much to Jeans disappointment, Mikasa got the hang of it and quickly began to work on it herself.

"There...you got it." Jean said in an all too dejected tone. 'Damn Mikasa, why do you have to be so smart, I was enjoying our little moment!' Jean screamed in his head, he was happy though. Suddenly, he felt a cold glare at the back of his neck and he turned to see none other than Eren scowling at him, hard. 'Heh, seems I made Yeager mad, how nice.' Jean shot a smug grin towards the brunet, to which Eren responded with his middle finger.

Jean's grin grew wide and white.

After class Eren walked up to Mikasa, who was already on her way to her next class. "Hey!" he called out to her, causing Mikasa look back at him.

"Yes?" Mikasa gripped her book bag a tad bit tighter.

"I can hold your bag for you, if you want." Eren offered, holding out his hand. He had never offered this to anyone so he felt kind of odd.

"Its fine." Mikasa's declined the offer plainly.

"Fine, let me walk you to class then." Eren sighed, closing his eyes in irritation. 'Honestly, this girl acts as though we're strangers, to think we kissed not to long ago.' Eren rolled his eyes. 'I probably shouldn't have stolen that kiss from her, though.' Eren felt guilty for doing that, he should have waited like a gentlemen, let her pick the right moment and time.

'She's so dense with these kinds of things though, I doubt she would ever get the hint.' Eren's eyes glanced sideways to the stoic girl, he smiled at his own thoughts, to which Mikasa raised an eyebrow at.

"What are you smiling like that?" she inquired softly, tilting her head to the side a bit, unaware of the effect it had on Eren.

'Shit, I want to kiss her again. Would she hit me?' Eren wondered. "Nothing, just something funny Connie told me." Eren lied, looking ahead of him again.

"Right,"

"It's true."

"Okay."

Once arriving to Mikasa's class Eren turned her around to face him. "Hey meet me after school, I need to tell you something, okay?" he said then he told her the place he wanted them to meet at and Eren walked away, leaving a very unsettled Mikasa to stand by herself. Her eyes lingered on Eren's retreating from, her heart racing again.

What did Eren want to tell her?

Mikasa shook her head, she decided not to ponder on the question any longer, it would only distract her.

Once school was over Mikasa had second thoughts about meeting Eren, she almost wanted to avoid him altogether. She had to admit that she was kind of nervous but Mikasa was no coward. She would hear him out, even if she was a little dubious.

Mikasa looked up at the sky as she walked toward their meeting point. Vibrant gray clouds littered the solemn sky, some rays of light escaping between the crevasses made by the clouds. The rain fell then, a light and slow drizzle came down on the earth. The water droplets hit Mikasa's skin, she wished they could melt away her nervousness.

She looked down at her hands only to find blood on them, not literal blood though, it was all in her head. It was the guilt manifested as blood, sorrow and anger mixed in as well. Not even the rain could wash away the guilt. Eyes glazed over, Mikasa's mind started replaying unwanted memories.

'It's what I deserve, to be tormented like this,' Mikasa thought wryly, 'it's my punishment.' She accepted these painful memories as a constant reminder of reality: to live in isolation from the rest of the world. 'You can't live a normal life like them. You're not like them. You're a killer, a liar. You don't deserve their friendship. You can never be like them.' Mikasa thought, shutting her eyes.

She felt like screaming then, she tried to swallow the knot in her throat in vain. She stopped under a cherry blossom tree—not a smart idea considering the weather but she didn't care. She remind still, silently fighting off the demons in her head. Once she successfully pushed them back in the most remote part of her mind, she focused her dark eyes on the dirt.

Mikasa decided that it was not wise to let Eren talk to her, she was about to leave when she heard a voice call her name, "Mikasa!" it yelled from a distance, but it wasn't Eren's voice she noted. She slowly turned to look back, only to find Jean Kirstein walking towards her with a smile.

"Hey, what are you doing here all by yourself? It's raining, you need an umbrella." Jean said concerned.

"I was waiting, but now I'm leaving." Mikasa's replied but Jean didn't look satisfied with her answer. He noticed the red scarf hanging around Mikasa's neck and he could have sworn he'd seen that on someone else before. But who? He couldn't remember.

Almost instantly, though, Jean's eyes widen in recognition. He's seen that scarf on Yeager before. 'That fucker.' he scowled through his jealousy. Anger clouded his vision and twisted his face into one of disgust. Jean felt the urge to punch Eren right in the face then. He couldn't comprehend why the jackass got along with Mikasa so easily, Jean has known Mikasa longer than Eren, albeit he hasn't really talked to her until now but he's had his eyes on her longer.

'When did that shit face become so close to her?' Jean growled, looking up at Mikasa's neutral eyes. 'Mikasa wouldn't wait for just anyone,' he thought 'so then, the only person she could possibly wait for was—'

"Eren." Jean hissed through gritted teeth, his face and attitude expressing the scorn he felt.

"How did you know?" Mikasa asked, but Jean didn't answer. Without thinking he shot out and roughly grabbed Mikasa by the shoulders, pressing her lightly against the tree that was behind her.

"Jean, what are you doing?" Mikasa said, beginning to feel anxious, she was getting ready to throw Jean on the ground. Without warning, though, Jean placed his lips against Mikasa's before she could even move a muscle.

Mikasa's eyes widened instantly, kissing Jean wasn't something she wanted, something she expected. She didn't—she couldn't allow this. Mikasa shut her eyes tightly and shoved Jean away, she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Jean, you—" Mikasa couldn't find the words to utter, she felt angry and embarrassed but she tried to hide them. Before Jean could apologize for his impetuous actions a fist connected with his right cheek, sealing his lips. Jean stumbled backwards a bit as he lost his balance, he caught himself and touched his cheek. The rain stung at his wound as he looked for the source of the attacker.

Had it been Mikasa?

Jean looked at Mikasa and saw her face stricken with shock, she was looking at something in a different direction so it couldn't have been her.

"What the fuck is your problem!?" Jean heard Eren yell, the brunet was infuriated while Jean whipped the trickle of blood from his busted lip. The rain pounded harder on them now and they all heard a strike of thunder in the distance.

"Nothing... you fucking prick." Jean mumbled, unsure of what to say, his eyes flicker toward Mikasa who seemed to be staring down at him with those deep, foggy eyes of nothingness. They reminded him of the gray sky above: unwelcoming and distant.

Jean felt a pang in his chest, a repercussion of pain stringed his heart thoroughly. Without saying a word, Jean retreated, heading towards his house. He much rather go to his shitty job than be here, anywhere but here. He couldn't stand the sight of them any longer.

"Hey come back here Jean! I'm not done beating the shit out of you!" Eren yelled over the rain, he made to walk towards the the light haired teen but he was held back by Mikasa.

"Eren, don't." Mikasa warned, her hair was plastered against her face and her cold eyes were almost covered by her inky hair.

"That asshole! What was he thinking?" Eren clenched his fist, tiny droplets of icy water exploded on his hair upon contact, soaking them both to the bone.

"Just let it go," Mikasa muttered, her voice was barely audible over the rain.

"What did you say?" Eren looked back at Mikasa, enraged. "Of course it matters!" he barked. That stupid Jean placed his mouth all over Mikasa's lips, he practically erased the kiss Eren worked so hard to plant himself.

"Why did you let him do that?" Eren demanded and Mikasa frowned back at him. "I didn't let him, Eren, he did that on his own." Mikasa said but Eren didn't feel any better, his blood boiled with fuming rage.

Deciding to ignore Eren's blinding anger, Mikasa pulled out an umbrella she had in her bag. "I guess there's no use for this anymore, we're already soaked to the bone." she stated plainly, sticking her hand out to feel the rain. Eren glanced at Mikasa who was acting as calm as ever. How could she dismiss the incident with Jean so easily?

Eren hastily yanked the umbrella out of her hand and fumbled to open it. Mikasa stared at him with amusement. "Eren? Do you need help?" she offered, to which Eren shot her a glare. He finally got the damned thing open and yanked Mikasa underneath the umbrella with him, they began walking but his steps were rough and clumsy.

"Eren, what are you doing?" Mikasa stumbled a bit, trying to match Eren's frantic pace.

"Don't say a word, Mikasa." Eren instructed, "Not. A. Word."

Mikasa arched an eyebrow but she opted with staying quiet; she knew how seething and vulgar Eren could get when he was angry. It was smart idea to not say a word at all but it bothered her how upset he was. 'Maybe the cold rain can cool him down a bit.' Mikasa thought, her eyes dancing up to Eren's face. He had a deep crease between his brow and he was as stiff as a board as he walked. The guy needed to learn how to control his anger and not let things get under his skin so easily.

Mikasa grabbed the umbrella from Eren's hand and closed it, letting the cold rain pour down on them once again. Eren hissed as the rain invaded his body, he turned to Mikasa and glared some more.

"What are you doing?" Eren asked annoyed, his soaked bangs dripping with crystal rain that ran down his nose and cheeks.

"It's soothing, isn't it?" Mikasa closed her eyes, letting the rain slip through her fingertips. She wanted Eren to do the same, to let the rain have the same affect on him as her. Eren looked at Mikasa as if she had grown an extra head. He didn't say a word, though, instead, he clenched his fist as the thought of Jean kissing Mikasa assaulted his brain anew.

Mikasa debated whether she should comfort Eren or not. She knew it was selfish of her to want to be with him but on the other side she didn't want to let him go either. She knew the right thing to do was tell him that they could no longer talk, but, was that really the right thing to do?

Mikasa didn't know anymore. She chose her selfish desires.

"I felt nothing, you know," Mikasa broke the silence, grabbing Eren's clenched fist within her hands. "His kiss, it was nothing like yours, Eren." Mikasa felt inclined to tell Eren this, he had the right to know. She was telling him the truth after all, and maybe this would cheer him up.

Eren scoffed, "Are you telling me this to make me feel better?"

"I'm not." Mikasa closed her eyes again, droplets of pellucid raid falling from her black eyelashes. Eren looked at Mikasa then, she truly looked beautiful at the moment. He sighed and let his anger evaporate slowly.

"Do you think I lose my temper easily? I know I must seem a bit immature." Eren said dryly, staring off into the rain.

"A bit," Mikasa admitted, "but you're only human, it's natural to feel the way you do."

"How do you do it then? Why don't you ever get angry or sad? If its so natural?" Eren said, turning to look at Mikasa who had no words to say.

"I'm just that way." she said and Eren seemed to ponder this, then he added:

"I want you to feel, too, you know. I want you to feel happy andangry and just, feel emotions. It's what makes us human." Eren said, stepping closer to Mikasa. She didn't say a word, she only looked up at him as if he was a spectacular from a different world, her eyes gentle and meaningful.

"If I told you," Eren began, "If I told you I got mad at you back there, would you get mad at me?"

"No."

"If I told you I wanted to kick Jean's ass tomorrow, would you let me?"

"No."

Eren closed his eyes, letting the cold rain do its job and draining his anger. It was a struggle to fight back the burning rage but Mikasa helped him return to earth. He had to admit that the rain was soothing. It was crazy, they were crazy for standing outside in the rain but at least it wasn't a heavy storm.

Eren unclenched his hand and intertwined them with Mikasa's cold ones, causing Mikasa to stiffen. "You're cold," he said," here—" he wrapped Mikasa's arms around his torso, pulling her into his warm chest.

"Eren—" Mikasa tried backing away but Eren held her in place.

"Just, please—" Eren breathed, "I'm cold too, you know."

"Then let's go home."

"No," Eren placed his head on Mikasa's wet raven locks, "You're much warmer than home." he said. Eren realized how extremely cliché he sounded but he couldn't give two fucks about that right now. He concentrated more on how Mikasa felt against him, how chills seemed to run down his spine with every inhale she took.

The hands that were on Mikasa's waist found themselves on her back and Eren pressed her tighter into the embrace. Mikasa didn't return the hug right away but then, ever so slightly she her palms on Eren's broad back. She grabbed a fistful of his wet sweater and her legs seemed to buckle underneath her.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, neither spoke a word. They didn't have to. Eren didn't want to let go of Mikasa, he wanted to keep her in his arms for as long as he could. To his surprise, Mikasa didn't let go either.

He held her tighter, as if she would disappear if he opened his arms. Eren feared that Mikasa would disappear. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like one day he would wake up to find her gone without a trace. Wiped from the face of the earth to never be found again. Her existence seemed so delicate, yet she seemed so strong. Eren didn't know what to make of it, all he knew was that he wanted to keep Mikasa beside him for as long as he could.

For Mikasa, this was a new sensation, one that she had never felt before. It was a different feeling from what she usually felt, it was a feeling that she couldn't explain.

Mikasa's entire life up to this point had been submersed in nothing but solitude and guilt. All Mikasa knew was fending for herself, fighting to stay alive, but she couldn't even call it fighting anymore.

Mikasa had given up a long time ago, her life was meaningless to her now. She wasn't dead, yet, but she felt as if she was. To Mikasa, a trivial thing like staying alive wasn't fighting anymore, it was simply submission, accepting her life and if she died she woulnd't mind. Mikasa no longer cared, that was until she met Eren. The boy inspired emotions in her she didn't know she had. He made her want to fight again, to cling on to whatever sense of humanity she had left. It was all to stay beside him, to be with him.

The embrace felt unnatural, though, awkward even. Mikasa wanted to run, but at the same time she wanted to hold Eren tighter if possible. It was forbidden. He was forbidden. Mikasa should push him away and never talk to him again.

Mikasa unconsciously held onto Eren tighter though, forcing the brunette to do the same.

'Didn't I just say I should push him away? Why am I holding her tighter?' Mikasa shut her eyes fiercely, fighting an internal battle. She breathed in a shaky breath.

"What's wrong?" Eren asked, searching for Mikasa's eyes.

"Nothing," she said, burying her face in Eren's neck so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"Don't lie," Eren nudged her, beckoning her to look up at him and when she did he kissed her without a second thought. Eren released a sigh when pressed his lips against her's, he tilted his head to get a better feel of her.

'This isn't right,' Mikasa thought, 'I shouldn't be here with him...' she broke the kiss and turned her head.

"Mikasa?" he said, mouth slightly agape.

"I have to go," she said, gray eyes downcast. Eren jolted, "Wait!" he he called out to her, grabbing her by her forearm. Mikasa stopped but kept her gaze elsewhere.

"I want to cook for you again," Eren said out of the blue. He didn't know what he was saying, he only wanted Mikasa to stay with him.

"Please, let me cook for you again." Eren sounded out of breath, he wanted to get out of the rain but he wanted to go home with Mikasa. Since Mikasa had edged away from him, Eren began to feel cold even though the rain wasn't all that heavy anymore.

"I just thought—I don't know, that you might like that." Eren added, nervous since Mikasa wasn't responding to anything he said. He was scared that she would reject his idea, now that he thought about it, it even sounded ridiculous to him. After all, he knew Mikasa wasn't the type to let anyone in her home.

Mikasa wanted to say yes but she knew the right thing to do was say no. Before answering she tried to swallow the painful knot in her throat, "Maybe another time, Eren."

Eren's eyes flickered to the ground, he felt a pain in his chest. "Alright," he muttered, unsure of what to say next. Mikasa's heart clenched as she began to walk away, she buried her mouth into her soaked scarf, imagining it was Eren's neck.

'I want to turn back,' the knot in her throat burned tenfold, her chest felt heavy. 'I want to go back.' but Mikasa didn't turn back, she forced herself to keep walking, aimlessly, until she reached her apartment. She opened the door without sense of what she was doing. Mikasa filled her tub with cold water and slipped underneath the cold surface, sinking into the dark abyss of her mind.

* * *

A well-built man with silky blond hair sat erect near a neat and organized desk, he was absorbed in his work as he jotted down notes on paper. His expression solemn and centered, his features young yet worn out.

The noble Erwin Smith sighed heavily as he laid his pen on the desk, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he settled back into his seat. His peace was disturbed by a knocking at the door, before answering he straightened his composure and resumed his work.

"Come in," Erwin announce, the door opened to reveal a glaring Levi and a very enthusiastic Hanji Zoe.

"Good evening sir, I hope you're finding yourself well!" Hanji smiled broadly as she saluted Erwin.

"Evening Haji, Levi," Erwin nodded, acknowledging them both.

"The preparations are ready Erwin," Levi spoke bluntly with a bored expression.

"You were never one for small talk, were you Levi?" Erwin smiled.

"He's just a grump, sir!" Hanji nudged Levi.

"You're a pain in my ass." Levi muttered, crossing his hands over his chest.

"How is Mikasa Ackerman doing, Levi?" Erwin asked, lacing his fingers in front of his jaw.

"Shitty, lately she doesn't have her head in the game, but I'll teach her a few lesson soon enough." Levi informed.

"Make sure you do that, we can't afford any casualties. She's one of our top assassins, after all." Erwin said.

"She is exceptional, I'll give the brat that, but she's lagging." Levi added and Hanji smirked.

"Oh! I wonder what kind of 'special training' you'll put her under." she said suggestively.

"Filth." Levi didn't even look at Hanji

"Hanji, how is Eren Yeager and Armin Arlert doing? Are they taking the relocation well?" Erwin inquired.

"Splendid sir, they're doing well. Any instructions you want me to give them?" Hanji asked with a smile.

"No, let them adjust for now," Erwin waved a hand, "as for Mikasa Ackerman, I have a special request for her." Erwin said looking at Levi, Levi only nodded.

"Do you want me to arrange a meeting with her then?" Levi said monotonously.

"Yes, that will be sufficient." Erwin agreed.

"Have they already met? Eren, Armin, and Mikasa, I mean." Erwin asked out of curiosity.

"I think they have sir, since we placed them in the same school and all. Is that a problem?" Hanji asked, her shoulders loose and calm.

"No, not at all. Quite the opposite actually, those three will be a powerful team. Similar to us when we were young." Erwin said. "Do they know their working under the same agency?"

"Not yet. Do you want me to tell them?" Hanji offered.

"No, they'll find out soon enough. That is all for now, good job Levi, Hanji. You are both dismissed." Erwin said as he laid his eyes on the paperwork beneath him.

"Yes sir!" Hanji said, Levi only snorted and exiting the room, Hanji followed.

"Those three huh? What an amazing little team right, Levi?" Hanji spoke out loud once they were out of ears reach. She only received a curt scoff in response from the shorter man. "What? Mad that your little precious pupil is going to be used for the mission?" Hanji teased.

"You are a pest." Levi closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Ouch, that hurts Levi." the glasses-wearing woman faked a tear.

"Tch," Levi spat, heading in a different direction.

'Why does he have to be so hostile? I'm honestly excited for those three. I wonder what the outcome will be?' Hanji thought, her mind filling with deranged ideas.

* * *

Tell me what you think so far! Thank you, and I hope you liked it!

BTR


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no kyojin.

Original creator: Hajime Isayama.

Gosh, thank you everyone who reviewed, followed and added my story to their favorites, you guys make my day. Every single one of you.

Here's chapter 5!

* * *

Mikasa stood in the middle of her apartment, eyes blank and foggy as she gazed off into space with no particular reason or purpose. She didn't know exactly how long she had been standing desultorily in her apartment, it must have been for a while, she guessed, because her legs burned and ached. The blinds to her windows were drawn, shrouding her entire living room in a murky green glow.

Mikasa thought of everything and nothing simultaneously as she stood there. Everything seemed so dreary and blurry. That whole week had been a blur for her, she couldn't really say she had been present to see all of it. The colors were all hazy and dull, the food was bland and tasteless and the feel in her hands were numb and rushed.

But that was nothing new, she was use to that numbness, no, what seized her attention was the fact that Eren was the only one she could see clearly and hear vividly; he evoked feeling inside her when he was close and he stood out from the crowd.

It was just her luck that he would be the only one who wasn't obscured by the fog that clouded her mind. Mikasa hated the fact that her senses where so acute when it came to him. Why was it only him?

Fortunately, she didn't see much of Eren that whole week, he had joined the soccer team in their school and was now either too busy or too tired during school to even notice Mikasa or so she thought.

The boy secretly yearned for her, though, he was too nervous and hesitant to even talk to her. Honestly, ever since Mikasa had refused him the pleasure of going to her home he had felt a shift in their relationship, not only that but it had also wounded his pride. He felt as though she was forcing some distance between them.

Eren knew he had promised Mikasa his comfort and companionship but he couldn't force his way to her, he couldn't be with her if the girl didn't want him there. He didn't want to obligate her.

Thus resulting in his subtle disregard towards the ebony-haired girl, though, he was far too proud to admit that he was ignoring her, he placed the blame on other things like soccer and school work. Yet, deep down he knew he was giving her the cold shoulder.

He craved talking to Mikasa again, yes, but something stopped him. He wanted her to be the one to come up to him, he needed reassurance that he was wanted also, that the feeling was mutual. Eren didn't want to become a nuisance and honestly, he was begging to feel that way.

But this fact remained unknown to Mikasa, in fact, to her it felt like Eren had finally given up on her. She thought she had finally bored him with her plain character like she did the rest of the world.

Though, Eren still cared for her, she couldn't fathom the thought of him staying with someone like her. She spent so many years putting herself down that she couldn't grasp the concept of deserving the best, and for her Eren was an indulgence she could not afford.

'It's fine,' she told herself. 'It's right.' she reasoned. Mikasa knew it would eventually happen, his concern for her would ultimately die down sooner or later. It was a reality she was aware of. She had been a simple infatuation for Eren, that was all, there was nothing more.

Though she was prepared for the blow it stupefied her greatly. She was back to being almost invisible to the human eye but that fact didn't rejuvenate her soul in the slightest like it usually did, on the contrary, it made her feel depressed and closed off from something so marvelous.

Once she got a taste of what Eren had to offer she couldn't go back to what she once had, scraps. She wanted the emotions that Eren inspired inside of her every time he was near her, she also longed for his attention and she wanted to give him her's.

Eren had been much more to her than a simple infatuation. She actually felt something for him, but everything was different for her because she couldn't tell him.

Mikasa's knees slowly gave away as she crumbled to the floor, she slowly collapsed on her side and she didn't even make an effort to catch her fall. Her eyes were dark and lifeless, foggy with no feel of who she was anymore.

'How did it get to this? I hate _this_.' she thought, she cursed the world and Eren. Then, despite the scorn she felt she imagined him there with her, laying on the floor as well as he stared into her eyes profoundly. Mikasa stared at him gently, as if he would disappear if she blinked.

He didn't say a word, instead he slowly reached out, his fingertips grazing Mikasa's cheek. Mikasa instantly closed her eyes in comfort, she felt him pull her hair back behind her ear and gently caress her, she could almost smell him. Then when she opened her eyes he was no longer besides her, Mikasa remained gazing at the spot Eren had just been, tears standing in her eyes.

She shook her head, she shook out the sadness and disappointed within herself as well. She had never felt such a pain like the one she was experiencing at the moment, nothing could compare, not even the death of her own parents and she didn't know why.

Eren wasn't dead, Eren was alive. Honestly, she should feel grateful that he wasn't dead yet, but she could hardly see the bright side to the situation.

She turned her body to face the other end of the wall, she touched her cheek where she had imagined Eren's hand was and then let it fall limp beside her face. Mikasa began to trash on the floor, silent tears slipping from her eyes and onto the crisp wooden boards.

She remained laying on the floor, staring off into something distant, like a doll. A hollow shell. Her mind obscured. It never gave her anything clear other than Eren.

'Get out of my head.' she thought. She wanted to scratch her scalp out until he was erased permanently from her thoughts. Eren had been clouding her mind this whole week and it was becoming insufferable and inflicting. She abhorred the feeling to the smallest intricacy.

She felt weak and pathetic.

"I need you to leave me alone!" Mikasa said, grabbing the sides of her head in a futile attempt to control her mind. She felt as if she couldn't control anything in her life anymore.

But she could still see his face, catch every detail, she had remembered it all. Mikasa had formed a bad habit of watching Eren during class. She would listen to him when he thought she wasn't paying attention, she would catch his every action, like when he would occasionally chuckle or smile at something Armin would say. How he would sleep comfortably in class, the rise and fall of his chest eased her.

In those moments Mikasa could have reached over and touched his skin if she so wished. She never did though, she was never that audacious. Her emotions would clogged up her throat at times, she wished she could simply spit them out and get over everything, but it wasn't that simple.

It was never that simple.

That night Mikasa went to work, time lapsed and she was now standing in front of a mingled man on the floor, his tears mixing in with his shimmering blood. She noticed her sword hanging beside her and how she clutched at it tightly, she could hear the thick blood slide off the blade and splatter on the floor.

When did I get here?' she thought as she brought a hand to her mouth. She felt sick.

Mikasa looked away, her eyes unwilling to blink, not wanting to look at the man on the floor but then looking accidentally. She continued staring at the corpse, unable to tear her eyes from the scene.

She fished out her phone from her pocket with a shaky hand, the red fluid on her hands staining her black jacket. She dialed Levi's number as she dropped her sword on the ground carelessly, she took ungainly movements toward a nearby wall and leaned on it, it was dark and her head throbbed so she shut her eyes.

Then, Levi answered, "Mikasa why are you—"

"Levi can you please come get me," Mikasa swallowed hard as she tried to keep her balance on the wall. "Please—just please come get me." she said over and over again.

"Mikasa," Levi sounded surprised, she heard him sigh and agree to come get her, he told her to stay where she was but she didn't even realize when Levi had arrived or when he had taken her to his apartment. She woke up in his couch the next morning, alert and dazed as she looked around.

"You sleep like a rock." came a voice from behind her and Mikasa snapped her head towards the source of the noise, she found Levi leaning on an open door frame, he had an apron around his torso that made him look peculiar.

"You were far too dirty to sleep on my bed, so the couch was the next best thing." Levi said nonchalantly, Mikasa took that as some form of apology for waking up in the couch, but she didn't mind, she felt privileged to even be able to step inside his apartment being the way she was.

"Levi I…" she began, looking like she had done something wrong.

"Don't look so dazed, you missed school by the way brat. I made breakfast so come eat it." Levi demanded, he disappeared into the other room that Mikasa guessed was the kitchen. She swallowed the dryness from within her throat yet again, she felt like she needed a shower. Levi would probably want her to be clean before she took another step in his apartment but she didn't have any clean clothes to wear.

Mikasa looked around disoriented at first, then she noted how neat and clean Levi's apartment was, it practically shined but he had the blinds drawn on every window, probably due to her presence, to keep her from waking. She was grateful for Levi. No other agent would have stopped what they were doing to come and get her, but Levi did, for that she was grateful.

"I'm not calling you a second time, Mikasa." Levi said from within the kitchen and Mikasa was up in a second, white sheets sliding off her body like water. She had on the same clothes she wore the other night, they were clean since her long coat protected them from dirt and blood, her shoes were beside the entrance.

She folded the sheets first then walked toward the kitchen where the smell of food grew stronger, she reached the foot of the kitchen door and stared at Levi's back while he was busy cleaning some dishes.

"I put your jacket in the wash, filthy thing smelled like shit." Levi said, never looking behind him.

"Thank you." She uttered, making her way to his table where a plate of food laid, she wasn't all that hungry but she would eat it. She didn't want to disrespect Levi.

"Just eat." Levi said, his movements ceasing for a bit then starting all over again. Mikasa ate in silence for a while then Levi came to sit on the opposite side of the table.

"What happened to you last night? You were a mess, you still are." He said bluntly, cutting to the chase.

"Thanks," Mikasa closed her eyes as she rolled some leftovers around with her fork, then carefully placing the food in her mouth.

"You're gross, you didn't even brush your teeth or shower." Levi leaned back in his chair, his inky hair falling in between his eyes which he pulled back with a slim hand.

"This isn't my apartment, I can't brush my teeth or take a shower, I don't have any of my stuff." she protested as she shot a glare at Levi. How could he expect the impossible from her?

"Whatever, so about last night." he continued.

"I don't know what happened to me, it won't happen again." she affirmed.

"I don't know if you've noticed this, Mikasa, but you've said that twice before." Levi informed. "I think your lying. Whats going on, you're doing something aren't you?" Levi's eyes narrowed as he fixed himself a cup of steaming tea. Noting went unperceived by him.

Mikasa averted her gaze from Levi, she felt as if his eyes were dissecting her. "That's not it," she said.

"You're going to get killed if you keep this up." Levi took a sip. She swallowed and placed her silverware on the table, she looked down at her plate silently.

"Something is definitely wrong, tell me what it is." Levi demanded and Mikasa bit her lip, she thought of Eren and she immediately knew that she couldn't tell Levi about him. She got up to leave but Levi stopped her with his chilling voice.

"I didn't dismiss you Ackerman. Sit." he ordered, gazing at her dangerously as he held his cup full of scorching tea near his lips. Mikasa stood rigid for a moment, then she slowly slid back down to her seat.

"Just rest for now, Mikasa I'm—" Levi paused, his words softened but seemed difficult to say. "I'm just worried about you." he said which caught her by surprise, she locked eyes with him.

"I'm sorry for making you worry." she said and she meant it mind you.

"Don't apologize, just try to get better, that's an order." Levi finished the conversation with that, he got up and headed for the door. "I'm leaving for work now, help yourself to anything but don't make a mess." Levi said as he exited his apartment. She waited for the click from the door that indicated he had left then she let out a sigh.

She let a smile overtake her feathers, then, it dropped as soon as it came, she was still feeling really tired. After she washed Levi's remaining dishes she crashed anew on his couch and dozed off with images of a certain auburn-haired boy in her mind.

* * *

The next morning Mikasa went to school even though she wasn't up for it, she had dozed off the whole day and was now in front of her teacher after school. Her teacher's mouth was moving but no sound was heard until a ringing popped in her ears and her teacher's voice was audible once again.

"—and it's okay not to know where your life is heading, like I said before, I wasn't sure about my life for a while as well. But, you're just so young, and _free_! I want you to experience life to the fullest, its in your grasp! You just have to simply reach out and grasp it!"

_Free?_

_In my grasp?_

Mikasa remained solemn but she wanted to scoff. This lady had no idea who she was talking to, but she couldn't blame the woman for being clueless, she simply didn't know.

Mikasa turned her head to look outside, the sun was already setting out in the distance. 'Is it already this late ?' she thought with a blank stare.

"Mikasa," her teacher gained her attention once again, "you looked dazed, did you listen to what I was telling you?"

"Yes, ma'am." she said and her teacher nodded slowly.

"I've noticed that your kind of quiet and shy, but I can see you have great potential! Maybe you can try breaking free from that shell?" her teacher offered genuinely trying to help.

Mikasa rose and bowed. "Thank you for your concern, I must leave now, if you don't mind." she said and the teacher looked uncertain but dismissed her with a smile.

She slipped out of her teacher's room and began walking through the empty hallways, an orange glow settling around her, enticing her in awe.

She walked down a poorly lit hallway around the music rooms, she had never seen this particular hallway before. It stroked her curiosity. She walked down the hallway until she reached the end and was face to face with an old worn out door. Mikasa hesitated before slowly grasping the knob and twisting it open, opening it to reveal a hexagon shaped room with many windows lining the walls.

The windows allowed the room to be completely submersed with luminescent orange colors but what amazed Mikasa even more was the single black piano at the far end of the room. It's middle half was covered by a creamy old sheet covered in dust.

Mikasa ambled towards the piano and removed the cover that were obscuring the piano's beauty, it seemed to shimmer in all its glory once the light got to it. It looked and felt brand new, it made Mikasa wonder why the school had decided to cover it up.

'How dare they,' she thought as she sat on the black chair in front of the piano, Mikasa gazed at the pearly white keys. She placed her hands above some notes with great care, closing her eyes, she began to play.

* * *

"Good work out there today, Yeager!" Eren's soccer coach announced as the sweaty teen crouched and placed his hands on his knees for support.

Eren panted a little, "Thanks, coach."

"You're one of the greatest players on our team, don't let me down." the tall coach said, dismissing the whole soccer team.

"Come on Eren! We're gonna go eat somewhere with the guys!" a teammate called out to Eren, the rest of his friends beckoning him to come.

"Can't—" Eren wheezed, "there's something I need to do after this." he said.

"Oh! Eren's got a date!" his friends made cat calls and Eren rolled his eyes, shaking his head. He was actually going to head down to the dojo with Annie, Reiner and Bertolt.

"Whatever, man, hope you get it in." his friends waved and Eren flicked them off.

"See you guys tomorrow," Eren waved a sluggish hand, grabbing his stuff and heading inside the school building. He had forgotten some belongings in one of his classes so he was heading back to retrieve them, though, a noise made him halt mid-way, it made him pause and look around.

The soft sound started off almost as a whisper at first and it only progressed gradually into a clearer sound. If Eren had been making enough noise he would have surely missed it. He discerned that the noise was being made by a piano, funny, he didn't even know this school owned a piano.

The delicate sound made Eren cease his movement, he cocked his head to the side in order to hear better. The sound was faint, barely audible but Eren could hear the notes and he enjoyed the sound.

'Who's playing it?' he wondered.

Walking down the hallway and completely forgetting about his things in the other room, Eren headed in the direction of the noise. Each step he took caused the sound to intensify, he was getting close to the source. He reached a long and dim hallway, the music was rich and beautiful but muffled by a door.

Eren remained still for a while, relishing in the beautiful sound escaping from within the room. The notes were breathtaking but extremely sad, then the song lifted, becoming hopeful with a bit of gleam, only to settle back into the desperate tone it once had.

Eren closed his eyes and listen to the song in awe as it was became slower, his heart sinking and racing with excitement at the same time. The song was truly beautiful but it bothered him how sad it was.

Becoming curious, Eren was eager to see who was playing that magnificent song. The door was left ajar but it wasn't enough for him to see through, Eren nudge it a bit further and crouched a bit to see who it was. His eyes widened when he saw it was Mikasa, she was swaying to the music, her eyes closed, she seemed so serene at the moment. Yet, she had a frail frown between her brow.

Eren's breath hitched, his heart clenched at the sight of the cold but beautiful Mikasa Ackerman. When the song neared its end Eren stumbled a bit, gasping as his legs gave out and he came tumbling forward. The music stopped abruptly with a rough press of the keys all at once. Eren caught his fall with his hands but he was mortified and shocked, he didn't dare look up from the floor.

'Shit, shit! She knows I was looking at her now!' Eren thought in his head as he refused to look up. The whole room was filled quickly with an uncomfortable silence, it was almost suffocating for him.

Unable to withstand the silence anymore he looked up, his green orbs meeting with those pair of gray eyes that made his heart soar. Slowly getting up, Eren scratched the back of his head awkwardly, unable to form any words in his head.

Why did he always feel incapable of talking when he was around her?

Mikasa didn't help one bit either, she remained still and silent, her eyes looked slightly surprised but she looked tired as well, like she hadn't slept in days and yet she looked absolutely stunning.

How could she do that?

Eren didn't know what it was, maybe it was the lighting but in that moment she resembled an angel to him. Eren felt like a complete sap for thinking that but that was the only way he could describe her at the moment. Maybe, it _was_ the soft lighting, the way the orange glow would seep into the room and bounce off her porcelain skin.

He couldn't brake eye contact with her, hell, he couldn't even speak, he wanted to say something, anything! But his tongue felt heavy and his mind felt like a blank paper. To his surprise, Mikasa was the first to break the silence.

"Eren," her voice was calm as it reached his ears, sending sparks into the air. "What are you doing here?" she asked, remaining still and stoic like always. Eren took a while to respond, he edged forward a bit but stopped to examine Mikasa's face. He liked observing her, he wanted to watch her and see if her features would change.

Eren's eyes moved to her skin, he admired how creamy and subtle she looked standing there. He looked at the scarf he had given her and felt relieved that she was wearing it, honored that she would still use it despite everything. Eren just kept staring at her that Mikasa became abashed, though, she didn't show it.

"Eren what are you looking at?" she questioned, sounding unsure. Eren snapped his head up to meet her eyes again.

"I—" Eren didn't know what to say, "I just—" he stuttered.

What was the right thing to say? The right words? He didn't want to mess up and sound like an idiot.

"You're beautiful," Eren blurted out. 'Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! What was that?' he thought as he looked off to the side.

"I meant to say—" Eren cleared his throat, "the way you play the piano is beautiful." he settled.

"That was—you weren't suppose to hear that." Mikasa uttered and Eren frowned.

"Why not?"

"I was just messing around, mindlessly pressing the keys."

"That's not what I heard. It was beautiful." Eren argued, causing Mikasa's heart to skip. Eren noticed that Mikasa was caught between saying something and remaining silent, he hoped she chose the former. He wanted to hear that voice of her's, the one he missed the most. However, Mikasa didn't speak, she remained quiet and after a while she began to walk toward the door.

Eren started to panic, he didn't want her to leave. He wanted to stop her but he feared being rejected by her again, so Mikasa slipped passed him like a ghost.

_Don't let her go._

"I'll see you later, Eren." Mikasa whispered, looking at him from the corner of her eye. Eren wanted to tell her not to leave, to come back and play some more songs for him. He wanted to grab her by the waist and force her to stay, but he didn't. Like a coward he let her go before he even realized it. When he came to his senses Eren sharply turned around to looked at Mikasa, only to find a door left slightly open in an absent room.

She was gone, in a split second she had left.

Eren remained standing there, disappointed in his own cowardice. He walked over to the grand piano and sat on the chair, he placed his hands over the keys he knew Mikasa's hands had touched. He closed his eyes and took a deep intake, trying in vain to smell her sweet scent. Eren felt an all too familiar pang in his chest.

He stood up abruptly, his eyes looking determined.

'I can't let her get away!' so he began to run.

* * *

Mikasa walked along a vacant sidewalk outside of the school grounds, she walked forward until she reached a lonely playground. The sun was still setting and the place was filled with twilight, it almost looked magical. Mikasa stared at the swingset and imagined a pair of kids smiling and swinging from them, then she saw a mother calling out to them with a warm smile.

Mikasa breathed in and the kids disappeared into the wind; it was all in her head after all.

She slowly made her way toward the swing set, placing her hands over the rusted and cold metal chains, she pushed it forward a bit. She sat down on the swing, letting her weight press down on the plastic seat. With her feet she slowly rocked her self forward and back as she kept her gaze forward.

Mikasa caught sight of a pair of birds on the ground close to her feet, then they took flight and they seemed to hover over the clouds, towards the endless sky before them.

'How magnificent it would be to be as free as those birds.' Mikasa thought as her gaze lingered on the sky where the birds had flown off to.

'To not have a care in the world. To be able to escape with a simple flutter of wings.' At that moment Mikasa wished she had wings.

No, she had _had_ wings once when she was a little girl, when she was by her parents side living in that little cottage house out in the forest, she was free. She had been happy.

Now she felt stripped of her freedom.

Suddenly Mikasa's phone buzzed, interrupting her train of thought. The vibration scared her and made her eyes widen for a second, then she realized someone was calling her, she reached in her pocket to look at it. Mikasa didn't recognize the number, she didn't know if it was wise to answer it or not.

Mikasa slid the bar to answer, though, she didn't say a word, she waited for the caller to talk first. It was quiet for a while, until she heard the voice.

"Hello?" Mikasa's heart stopped as soon as she heard him. 'How did he…?'

"Hello? Mikasa? I know you're there, answer me."

"How did you—" she began, she heard a soft chuckle from the other end, she could practically feel his smile. "I have my ways. Now, I need you to do something for me—"

His voice became louder and more distinct, almost as if he was right here with her...

"—turn around," he said, his voice duplicating behind her. Mikasa turned around sharply, eyes catching sight of the familiar chestnut colored hair she loved so much. Eren was standing there with a goofy grin, his phone still held to his ear.

"I wanted to apologize," he said, walking over to Mikasa.

"F—for what?" It was Mikasa's turn to stutter, she stood up and backed away as Eren came closer.

"For not doing this—" Eren whispered as he slipped his hands behind Mikasa and embraced her fully, smelling her hair as he did so, he rubbed his cheek against her softer ones. Mikasa was for a loss of words, only breathing in as she kept a breath held tightly in her lungs, her hands doing the unthinkable and automatically sliding behind Eren's back as well.

"And sorry for kind of ignoring you this week," he offered an apologetic smile, "I shouldn't have done that. I was being a coward." he admitted.

"A coward?" Mikasa repeated.

"Yeah," Eren said as he remained still while holding her, he never wanted to let go.

"It's alright, I ignored you too...so I'm sorry as well." she found herself apologizing before she even realized it. Eren's smile only widened further and he pressed her closer to him.

Mikasa's brows clash then, remembering how Eren had her number without her even knowing. "I need you to tell me how you got my number and you can't make up some silly excuse this time."

"Well, it's simple, really," Eren let go of Mikasa but they didn't move one inch away from each other, "while you were sick." Eren said simply. "Your phone was just lying there and I figured since you weren't going to give it to me it willingly then I would take it for myself.'" he finished.

"That's an invasion of my privacy." Mikasa said in indignation; if Eren had read anything concerning the agency it would have all be over.

"Well your stubborn ass—" Eren began but Mikasa cut him off sharply.

"Eren don't ever get my phone and go through it again!" she said, her voice raising in volumes. It rang through Eren's ears and he was stunned to hear Mikasa angered by this, he thought it was an inoffensive gesture but he guessed it wasn't for Mikasa.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. I won't do it again." Eren was perplexed as to why it mattered to Mikasa so much but he didn't want to fight. Not with her.

Mikasa quickly felt guilt sting her from her rather abrasive tone. "No," Mikasa sighed, "you're not an asshole Eren, I'm sorry for raising my voice." she apologized yet again.

"I am an asshole though, I recognize it so just accept my apology cuz I don't do it often." Eren said.

'I only do it for you,' he thought.

"Okay,' Mikasa stammered as Eren pulled her closer to him again, he closed the distance between their lips in one fluid motion. He wasn't the type of man to waste time, honestly, sometimes Eren could be a man of few words. He let his actions express his feelings.

This time Mikasa didn't fight back, she was tired of fighting Eren, she wanted—if only for a second—to feel true joy again and she felt it when she was around the auburn-haired boy.

"I missed you," he broke the kiss to say only to trap Mikasa's lips with his own once again before she could answer.

"I missed you, too." Mikasa said between breathes.

"You did?" Eren broke the kiss again to look at her.

"Yeah," Mikasa said, she leaned in to kiss Eren again but the boy dodged her kiss.

Mikasa's eyes widened in embarrassment, she blushed furiously at him for leaving her hanging. "You're a jerk."

"I know I am, payback for ignoring me as well." Eren cooed, he paused a bit to look around. "So," he began slowly, "we did have a date."

"When?" Mikasa's neck shot up to look into Eren's eyes.

"Relax," he placed a delicate hand over her shoulder, "if you don't want to, its fine. Geez."

"I never said I didn't want to but I just can't remember that we had...a date." Mikasa muttered causing Eren to shift and grin.

"So, you're down for a date?" he asked, staring at her intently.

"Is this your way of asking me on a date?" she arched a delicate eyebrow.

"Well," Eren looked down at Mikasa's hands and reached out for them, he held them in his larger ones, "yeah." he said simply. He found no use in sugar coating it.

Eren averted his eyes from Mikasa to stare at last bit of orange rays disappearing into the horizon. "So what's your answer?" he asked after a while, he looked back at Mikasa.

Mikasa thought about this, Levi's words popping into her mind. She knew the reason she was feeling like shit was because of Eren, he caused an inner battle to take root inside of her yet he also made her happy. Was it ironic to say that he was the only remedy to the pain that he caused as well?

How could the person who caused the pain heal it also?

"Com on," Eren said, groping for Mikasa's sleeve. "It's getting late." he guided her away from the playground. Mikasa held him back which caused Eren to look back at her.

"What is it?" he said, his neutral eyes looking upon his ebony-haired counterpart.

"Yes." Mikasa said suddenly.

"What?" Eren sounded surprised.

"I'll go on a date with you." Mikasa agreed, she swallowed the knot in her throat. She knew she was breaking the rules but she didn't care. Eren was worth it.

Eren's gaze lingered on Mikasa, it was only after a while that he realized what she had just agreed to. It meant so much to him. He quietly leaned in to kiss her, after they parted lips Eren's grip on her hand softened as he moved forward again without a word.

Eren broke out in a run then, he ran whistle never letting go of Mikasa's hand, I wide smile plastered across his face.

"Eren! Why are we running?" Mikasa asked between breathes.

Eren shook his head with that big smile still on his face, his brown hair brushing his eyelashes. "I don't know," Mikasa could practically hear the smile in his tone, "I don't know I just feel like running!" a chuckle escaped his lips as he kept running. Unknown to Eren that the cause of his little sprout of happiness was because he felt so thrilled that Mikasa had agreed to his offer.

After a while of running they arrived at Mikasa's apartment, much to Mikasa's disappointment. She looked confused.

"My apartment?" she said, almost as if she couldn't believe it, any other time she would have felt relieved to arrive here but she thought Eren was going to take her somewhere else.

"Yeah, I don't really have money to take you somewhere but I can make you something to eat again. It'll be nice, come on." he said, beckoning her to open her door.

"Okay," Mikasa said without another word, she opened her apartment and allowed Eren in.

"Our dinner date," Eren said aloud as he flopped himself on her couch, getting comfortable as he placed his hands behind his head.

Mikasa deadpanned, "I've never been on a date before but I don't think this is how it works..." she trailed off.

"Not at all, I actually planned it out like this, it's more private this way, too." Eren relished in his victory by closing his eyes.

"I can still kick you out."

Eren cracked one eye open to look at Mikasa, then he relaxed back into the couch. "Nah, you wouldn't do that." he affirmed.

"How do you know?" Mikasa challenged him with her eyes but he wasn't paying attention.

"Because you just won't." Eren said between gritted teeth then it broke out into a wide grin. He rose from his spot and headed for the kitchen and opened Mikasa's fridge indiscreetly.

"Geez, what do you eat? Air?" Eren huffed sarcastically, he was going to bite his thumb due to the fact that he was deep in thought but he quickly placed his hand away from his mouth.

'You have no idea.' Mikasa thought, heading towards Eren. "Why are you going through my fridge?"

"Our dinner date." Eren twirled a slim finger in the air, his head still engrossed in the fridge. "What? Did you forget already?" he teased.

"I don't have anything. I forgot to go to the store." Mikasa admitted.

"I'll go to the store then," Eren nudged at his pockets, checking for money. "I don't have much but I'll see what I can get." he was already heading for the door.

"You don't need to do that." Mikasa said, she didn't really care about what they did, all she wanted was to be with Eren. They didn't need anything else but each other.

"I want to, though."

"Don't."

"Why the hell not?." Eren rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Just don't, stay here." Mikasa said lamely.

"How about I got and get something to eat then I come and stay here." he said, refusing to leave Mikasa's house that night without a proper 'dinner ' date.

Mikasa sighed in defeat. "There's no arguing with you, is there?" she said and Eren flicks out his tongue, sliding against his thin lips as he smiled.

"No." he stated plainly, "guess not. So, what do you want for dinner?" he sounded like a married man.

Mikasa took a while to answer, she wasn't really feeling hungry which didn't surprise her but she didn't want to disappoint Eren. Honestly though, Mikasa had no idea what to ask for, she doubted Eren knew any Japanese dishes and her vacant appetite didn't help either. She looked at her hands, finding things to do with them as a distraction.

"I don't know." she settled with saying.

"Any favorites?" Eren asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Mikasa shook her head. "Craving anything?" Eren probed, but yet again Mikasa did the same gesture as before. Seriously, this girl was so stale sometimes, Eren couldn't comprehend her.

"Okay, you know what?" Eren threw his hands over his head, "just stay here and wait for me okay, I'll come back and make you something of my choice. Just don't leave." he made a halting signal with his hands.

"Where would I go? I live here." Mikasa said making Eren scowl.

"Right," he said as he exited her apartment.

Mikasa remained standing in the middle of her living room, dazed off in her own little world. She studied the door Eren had just walked out of. Had she really just agreed to let him stay? What happened to protecting him? To keeping her distance?

Mikasa imagine Eren walking along the cold streets, snuggling his sweater closer to his warm body. In that moment it was as if her spirit had parted with her body and was now following Eren. She could picture him perfectly, his movements and his small gestures. She smiled at the thought of him.

'I don't care anymore, I want to be with him.' she thought.

_Selfish._

Mikasa cringed. All of a sudden she felt disgusting and dirty. She could never forgive herself if something were to happened to Eren because of her. Her body and mind would no longer be able tolerate her blundering mistake anymore. She would leave the agency even if the consequence was her own life.

Mikasa's fingertips inched closer to her cellphone, she debated whether she should call this whole thing off. Debated whether she should never let Eren back into her home again and keep ignoring him until he gave up hope on her. Cut all ties she had with him and his friends. And yet, something stopped her from doing so, her hands trembled as she reached for her phone but couldn't take it in her hand.

Something snapped within Mikasa, she didn't want to lose Eren. The thought of being alone again scared her, the thought of not being able talk to Eren would undermine her. She wanted to remain by his side even if it was selfish, Mikasa was tired of pushing him away.

She was human after all, she craved human contact, too, just like everyone else in the world.

Who wanted to be alone? Absolutely no one.

So when a knocking was heard on the door a few moments later Mikasa quickly opened the door and pulled Eren inside, she then proceeded to hug him without a second thought. Eren was caught in complete shock, his breath escaping his lips.

He wasn't expecting the embrace at all, he couldn't even hug her back due to the fact that Mikasa had rapped her arms around his own, plus he was still holding onto the bags full of food. Eren's heart began to beat rapidly, his hands filling with sweat.

He felt the girl's lips brush past his neck but she did it unconsciously, she only wanted to bury her face in his shoulder, she touched his back with her hands, an action that made Eren's skin crawl with goosebumps out of the sheer thrill of it all.

Mikasa made a feathery sound in her throat that made Eren think she was about to wail in his arms thought, that made him worry.

"Hey—what's wrong?" Eren stuttered, trying to hug Mikasa back but the movement was awkward since he was holding the bags of groceries.

"I'm just glad you're back." she whispered, any impression of her crying disappeared as soon as Eren heard the sound of her voice which was calm and collective as always.

"That's it?" Eren was absolutely bewildered. Mikasa retracted her limbs and hid them behind her back, which made Eren want to slap himself for his stupid outburst.

"Its not a bad thing, its just weird—no! Not weird, just sudden! You know with you hugging me and all, you don't usually do that." Eren said, placing the bags on the floor and bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, an apt he had formed out of nervousness.

"I don't know," Mikasa admitted. Why did she let her emotions take a hold of her so strongly?

"It's fine by me, honestly, it's nice to see you like that. You hardly show any emotion at all, you rock." Eren teased as he rapped his arms around Mikasa, he closed his eyes and leaned his head onto hers.

"Yeah, I like you like this." Eren said as he took an intake of her luscious hair. Mikasa's nose brushed against Eren's cheek, she wanted to kiss him but she wasn't so bold. Then, Eren let go of her and grabbed the plastic bags, leaving Mikasa with a protest caught in her throat but she decided not to say anything.

Hugging him was as good as kissing him to her.

"Well, let's begin," Eren clasped his hands together, turning to look at Mikasa expectantly. "Don't just stand there with a lost look in your eyes, you're going to help me!" he said, grabbing an apron with flowers printed all over it, he wrapped it around his torso and began to get to work. Eren reminded Mikasa of Levi, it made her want to laugh but Mikasa suppressed the light chuckle.

"What?" Eren glared. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Mikasa stifled her laugh.

"Nothing at all?" Eren squinted his eyes at her. Mikasa cleared her throat and straightened her posture, "Nothing at all," she assured.

Eren softly bit his lower lip and rolled his eyes. "Sure, you little liar." He walked up to Mikasa an poked the girl on the side. "Come on, help me then."

So they began to work on the meal, Eren having to muster great patients when teaching Mikasa since he found out that culinary arts wasn't her strongest subject. But soon enough they both managed to work in perfect union, both enjoying each other's company.

At one point, Eren connected his phone to a speaker and played some music that Mikasa found herself enjoying. The music wasn't crazy like she thought Eren would have, instead, it was slow and relaxing. He told her that he had an ample taste when it came to music.

"I can give you some of my music later, if you'd liked it." Eren offered with a coy smile, Mikasa only nodded, she never really took the time out of her day to even contemplate music, but now she was having second thoughts about it.

Eren finished the last touches on their food and soon they both sat down to enjoy the meal. They occasionally engaged in mindless chatter but for the most part they remained quiet. It wasn't an unbearable silence like before, no, this silence was one they both enjoyed and reveled in.

A silence that made them both stare off into each other's eyes affectionately for the rest of the night.

* * *

If you want to know what piano piece Mikasa was playing you can find it here: watch?v=wyWqlBk8U_o&list=FLfnWn6h3MnLjtPLAueRqbgQ&index=2

It's actually from the SNK soundtrack so I definitely recommend you to listen to it!

If you have any questions, doubts, or comments about the story thus far, please feel free to leave me a review. It makes my day, and I read them all, I promise. Thanks!

BTR


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin.  
Original creator: Isayama Hajime.

The last chapter was a "calm before the storm" if you will.

Following is in Mikasa's point of view.

* * *

Two months have passed by like a haze of colors for me but not everything was bad. Somehow, over the span of two months Eren and I had managed to grow closer, he even convinced me to sit with him and Armin during lunch. Before I even realized it I had developed a friendship with both of them, a terrible mistake now that I thought of it.

Much to my unwillingness now that we were closer, Eren kept insisting I socialize more instead of being hostile towards the rest of our classmates. Of course, I declined feverishly.

It wasn't because I didn't want to make new friends but because I had my reasons for staying away.

He also requested I smile more often, I didn't know what to think about that, what was the point of smiling? What would I gain from it? It was redundant to life, I reasoned.

I told Eren I would think about that one. Despite him being very important to me there was also a natural limit to where I could be pushed by Eren. So to most of his audacious ideas I would decline with a stern no.

Though, as much as Eren pestered me sometimes it was nice to feel his concern. It was nice to have him by my side.

Truthfully—his smile and voice grew to be my only solace in the past few months. The slightest action from the brunette caused an emotion deep within me to flutter inside my stomach.

Like I said before, smiling was unnecessary to me but when I did smile it was only around him. I smiled in a way I'd never smiled before. Surprisingly, I would find myself doing things I would have never done two months ago. One was looking at myself in the mirror twice now before heading for school. I wanted make sure I look well for him.

I had even remembered what his favorite type of milk was during lunch. Chocolate milk was his favorite, Eren explained that the white milk tasted like "shit" and the strawberry milk made him want to puke. Therefore, every time lunch began I would sneak away and get him his stupid chocolate milk.

Eren made me wonder why I tried so hard to impress him but when I thought about it at the end of the day, it was all worthwhile

Being with Eren made me realize how insipid my life use to be. It was as if he entered my dull life with a bucket full of paint and splashed fluorescent colors all over my blank canvas. It was a new sense of delight for me, yet, it was almost surreal as well.

Was it all real?

Often times I would stay up all night asking this question. No answer was given to me of course but I silently hoped that it was all true.

He was a sense of escape for me as well, a form of dealing with the pain that corrupted me night after night. He intoxicated me, it scared me yet thrilled me simultaneously.

I was completely bemused with the dilemma I had gotten myself into. It felt like a death trap that I had set up myself. I didn't know what to do. When did I ever know what to do? I think the only time I was sure of my capabilities was when I was slicing up flesh, which wasn't an amiable quality in the least. Appalling, honestly.

I sigh and gaze up at my pastel-colored ceiling. It was Saturday afternoon and I found myself doing nothing in particular to pass the time but watch my ceiling fan. I still found school extremely aggravating, yet, I was wishing Monday would roll around already. I wanted to see Eren.

"No, I can be without him." I whisper to myself into my sheets as I clamp a pillow over my head. Suddenly, an idea struck me and I jerk upward, my inky hair ruffling softly with my movement. A shower, I thought, a shower always helped me when I was troubled.

After a well deserved shower I wonder into my kitchen and debated whether I should make something to eat or not. My stomach was still refusing to request any sustenance and sometimes I would even force the food down my throat.

I guess I would have to do the same this time as well. As I reach for the handle to my fridge an image of Eren conjures in my head. I imagined him putting on my apron and offering me his help.

The boy knew how to cook after all, his meals were rich in flavor. I tried in vain to remember the taste in my mouth. I wondered where he learned his cooking skills, his mother maybe? I wonder what his mother was like and whether Eren looked more like his dad or his mom.

Or maybe Armin had taught him how to cook, I had tasted Armin's home cooking during lunch before and it was marvelous as well. It made me feel self conscious since I was a woman and it was suppose to be I who knew how to cook, but it wasn't entirely all my fault, I had no one to teach me how to cook. That was all.

I only learned a couple dishes Levi had taught me, other than that I had to learn it all by myself. Naturally I was always too busy to really take the time out to learn, not to mention my effort was waning short every time.

Suddenly a knocking to my door made me halt my actions, I put the carton of milk I hadn't even realize I was holding back into the fridge and headed for the door.

"Hey! Open up in there! There's no time to be lazy!" I hear Eren's voice bark from behind the door, he knocks again, rather loudly this time. I yanked the door open, successfully making his heavy knocks cease.

Sure enough, Eren was standing there bright and tall, his hand in mid-air for another knock. He wore some dark-colored pants with a gray shirt underneath a light brown jacket, he also had on a maroon colored beanie over his messy hair.

"Ready to go?" he asks abruptly, rubbing his hands together to fend from the cold.

"Go where?" I say perplexed as to what he was talking about.

"Out," he puts simply, nudging his head to outside.

"Out? No, I can't."

"Sure you can, come on. It's simple, just step outside." Eren grabs my sleeve with a malicious intent, he was trying to pull me out into the cold with him. He was crazy.

"Where?" I inquire, holding him back slightly with my hand on the door frame. My stomach quickly spilling with thousands of butterflies.

"Come with me and you'll find out yourself! Now, get!" Eren pulls, calling for me as if I was some horse.

"No." I yank my hand from his grasp, I try to close the door but Eren steps forth and places his foot in between the door to stop it from shutting properly.

"What are you doing?" he frowns.

"Going back to making something to eat." I say and tug on the door with force.

"Ow ow ow!" Eren shrieks. "That hurts woman!" he bites back.

"Well, get your foot away from my door!" I shoot back.

"If you're hungry I have good news, there's food where we're going." he says, including me despite my refusal to go.

"Not until you tell me where it is we're going." I pry.

"Geez, your no fun Mikasa, it was suppose to be a surprise." Eren huffs, defeat clearly edged into his eyes. "Its a picnic, it was suppose to be just me and Armin but I thought there was no harm in invite you, Armin wanted it also, so here I am. Now, will you come on already!" Eren grits his teeth, reaching over and seizing my hand once I loosen my grip on the door.

I smile inwardly: the fact that he wanted me there with them was reason enough to go.

"Only the three of us?" I peer through the gap and Eren nods vigorously, his chestnut hair bouncing up and down softly. I found it very endearing, all his little movements, I cherished them with a secret delight. I would never admit that to anyone, though. No one must know. Especially Eren. _Significantly_ Eren.

"Okay," I bite my lip and I see Eren copy my gesture. "Let me get ready then," I swallow, allowing him to enter and wait in the warm.

"Damn Mikasa, you have one hell of a grip" He breathes as he rubs his shoulder, feigning a muscle ache, a playful glare plastered on his youthful face.

I smile sheepishly and head for my room, I put on a pair of old blue jeans, a gold and black striped sweater and then I lace over my signature scarf around my neck. I look myself over in the mirror once and nod, my eyes full of gleam.

I walk the short distance from my room to where Eren was patiently waiting, sitting on my couch whistle looking around.

When I walk in front of him he gets up quickly then stops in his tracks to look at me. His eyes dance across my figure and I almost wanted to tell him to look away. Being underneath his intense gaze made me a bit anxious, so I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

I cleared my throat which made him snap out of his trance, embarrassed, he grumbles something and heads for the door.

"Let's get going," Eren says looking ahead, I nod silently behind him. After locking my apartment we head toward the park he confirmed Armin was already waiting for us. Eren tried explaining what the park looked like, since he couldn't remember the name.

He said the park had a small pond in the center, acting as its nucleus, I assumed he was referring to Shingeki park. It was the only one with a pond in the center.

"Say, Mikasa?" Eren begins as we walk.

"Yes? I answer calmly.

"Where are your parents?" I hear him say and I almost halt in my tracks, my blood running cold. "I know its a rather sudden question, but since I've noticed you live alone, I was just wondering." Eren says as he keeps his steady pace, I was lucky that his attention was directed forward instead of me.

A gulp down the rock in my throat, the rhythm of my heart slightly veering off course. I knew I had a lie set up for this question, I had rehearsed it numerous times with some of my teachers and classmates but Eren was a different story.

I didn't like lying to him.

"They live in a quiet village in Japan, I came over here to study, I have a close uncle here that often times helps me when I'm in a tight spot." I say, looking straight ahead with a hollow gaze in place. Every word escaping my lips made me want to crunch my nose in disgust.

"Woah, that's pretty cool, I hope their not too worried about you being here by yourself though." he says.

"No, I don't think they are." I proclaim.

"What makes you say that?" he turns to me as I keep my gaze forward.

"I'm not alone, I have my uncle remember? They trust him." I say. The "uncle" I was referring to wasn't all a lie, I was thinking of Levi when I said I had an uncle, he was the closest thing to family that I had.

"Ah, right," Eren mutters as he faces the front again, the air around us growing heavy, or maybe it was just me.

I wanted to ask him about his family but I decided against it, I didn't think now was the right time.

After Eren's little interrogation the rest of the walk was filled with silence. It wasn't uncomfortable per say, but I wanted to break it somehow, to get a conversation going, something lighthearted to break the heavy atmosphere that had accumulated around us.

But how could I shatter the silence?

Then, I see Eren pull out his phone and begin to tap at the screen. Curiosity getting the better of me as I lightly step forward to peer over his shoulder. Realizing I was trying to look Eren pulls his phone away from me but it was too late, I had already read the text.

**Armin: **_We have company_**.**

Company? Tilting my head to the side, I wonder who this company could be.

My face drops slightly, I was looking forward to being with only Eren and Armin today. After all, they were the only two people I truly considered as friends. Armin was amiable and considerate, he was always looking out for everyone. The blond blue-eyed boy was also very bright, if not the most intelligent student in school.

It was only around them when I felt like I could be myself.

"We have company?" I announce, deciding to use the topic to my advantage and break the silence.

"So you saw," Eren looked at me with a frown on his face, then it broke out into an apologetic grin. "Yeah, it seems like it. Sorry, I know I told you it was only going to be us but I had no idea people were going to come. It was a surprise for Armin, too." he said.

"It's okay," I assure, "do you know who they are?"

"No, Armin didn't tell me. I guess we're in for a little surprise, huh?" Eren winks at me and my breath hitched for only an instant. When he turns back around I let out a silent breath of relief. Christ, why did he have such an affect on me?

We keep walking in union as we near the park, I look to my side and stare at the sidewalk as it moves quickly with every step I took. My eyes wandered all over the place until they fall upon Eren's tanned hand that swayed in the air as he walked.

Suddenly, I get the uncontrollable urge to take hold of his hand. It looked warm and welcoming.

Would it be soft? What would he do? Would he take hold of mine also? Or would he look at me with a frown?

I reach out for his hand slowly, inching my way closer hesitantly. My face becoming extremely hot but I remain calm, otherwise I would give out my nervousness. I am so close to his hand and I was about to grasp his until I heard Eren's voice call out loudly.

"Reiner?" he yells over the air to the other who was a few paces away, he sounded surprised. I look up only to come face to face with my long time enemy Annie Leonhardt, she was accompanied by her two companions that seemed to always be with her, Reiner and Bertolt.

My eyes harden instantly as I catch her dull gaze lock with mine. Like a stray cat my senses were on high alert now. Annie averts her eyes from mine and moves onto Eren, who was greeting Reiner and Bertolt.

"I knew Armin said we had company but I wasn't expecting you guys. Reiner you ass!" Eren grins, wrestling playfully with Reiner.

"What? You didn't want to see us, Yeager?" Reiner nudges Eren on the shoulder.

"That's not it, man." Eren shakes his head, walking toward the picnic table that Armin was already seated at, I follow them to the table, slipping my cold mask back into place.

"Hey Mikasa, hey Armin" Reiner greets followed by Bertolt, Annie was the only one who remained quiet. I nodded in acknowledgment as we all sit on the picnic table. I sit next to Armin who was in between me and Eren, I didn't mind really, I enjoyed being around Armin, too. On the opposite side of the table was Reiner, who perched himself at the edge of the table followed by Bertolt and then Annie.

"It was unexpected," Reiner began, "me, Bert and Annie were just strolling around, you know? Hitting the breeze and all, when we see Armin sitting here all by himself so we decide to stop on by and join him. What's going on? Something special?" Reiner asked, looking at me then Armin then back to Eren.

"No, nothing special, just a simple picnic." Eren assured, placing his elbows on the table. "Wanna stay?"

"You sure? Don't want to interrupt anything." Reiner motions.

"Nah, you're good, Armin and I made plenty of sandwiches." Eren shrugs, reaching across and punching Reiner's shoulder.

It was times like these that made me wish I'd never left home, to retract back into my shell where I didn't have to face other people. I detested when this anti-social side of me emerged but I couldn't help it—so many years of being alone made me form this bad tendency.

Eren was completely submersed in the conversation with Armin and Reiner, Bertolt chipped in here in there while me and Annie were the only ones who remained completely isolated and nonverbal. I guess that was one thing we shared in common. I wondered why she was that way, too. I had my reasons, so, what were hers?

I never presented my opinion in the whole exchange though, my opinion didn't matter. I preferred to sit there in silence and gaze at my surroundings, studying the people around me. Drawing out every bit of information I could.

That was how Levi had trained me: perceiving your surroundings, inhaling and ingesting all the information you can draw out. Using it to your advantage if the time came. Perceive the unseen and expect the unimaginable.

I learned to assimilate the situation beforehand and make quick-witted decisions if necessary. Deeming everyone as my enemy, severing my humanity if it came down to it.

I looked at everyone on the table—I pictured them dead. Their thick blood all over my hands. It was sadistic. It was ghoulish, I knew, but I couldn't stop the images from assaulting my mind. It was the curse I lived with.

I had almost forgotten it while being with Eren.

I was broken.

I look across the table towards Eren, how his calm face brightened with the help of the warm sunlight. I bet he would be sickened by the way I was thinking just now. He would leave me for sure if he found out about the true monster I was. But, I couldn't help the way I was, I knew no other way of living. It was the air I breathed, the only road I've known since very young, it wasn't so easy to leave it.

I wish I wasn't so broken, so ill-minded. A simple wish. An aspirating dream that hit a hopeless dead end. Then, maybe I could hold a stable relationship with people, then maybe I wouldn't be so scared.

"Mikasa!" I hear my name being called rather loudly, I look up quickly, trying to figure out who had called me.

"Are you okay Mikasa? You were kind of dazing off back there." it was Armin, he was holding something out for me.

"I'm okay, just thinking." I say, I look at everyone at the table and find them staring at me, my eyes run over to Eren only to find him looking at me with concern written on his face, I look back down at what Armin was handing me.

It was a sandwich. "Oh, I'm not feeling that hungry. Thank you." I say, causing Armin to worry.

"Are you sure?" he says and I nod.

"Just take it," I hear Eren say, I look over and see him take a bit out of his own sandwich. "You said so yourself that you were hungry." he says rather annoyed but I could hear his concern.

"I'm not hungry anymore." I respond calmly, looking at something across the table, anything other than food, my stomach felt sick.

"Mikasa just eat it!" he snaps, his voice wasn't loud but he still wants me to take it.

"Eren, you know you can't force her." I hear Armin say, I silently thank him. He was always coming to my rescue.

"Tch, I don't get you." Eren says while looking at me.

"Mikasa Ackerman, the school's prodigy student. How do you do it?" came Reiner's deep voice, changing the subject. It reached my ears and I had the urge not to respond to it at all. I look over though, with a blank stare on my face.

"I don't know what your talking about." I say. "School is just easy."

"Ouch, not for the rest of us, it's hard work you know. So, its a breeze for you, huh?" he says rather amused by the whole thing and I keep my gaze still. Why was he asking me these things?

"You don't really say much do you?" Renier added and I see Eren reach over and hit him on the arm.

"Come on man, leave her alone. She's not feeling well I guess. Right, Mikasa?" Eren says, looking over at me, I keep a straight face as I nod slowly.

I heard Eren begin to talk to Annie but I my gaze is fixed ahead, pretending not to listen to a word. Pretending that my heart didn't suddenly feel like it was sinking. Then, something caught my eye, I look back at the table and find Bertolt staring at me, an edgy look to his face.

Bertolt averted his gaze quickly, settling with staring at something on his lap instead. I see him shift a little in his seat, I raise an eyebrow when he looks back up at me nervously. His eyes slide nervously towards Annie and Eren who were talking, then back at me.

Oh, I understood now.

He was feeling the same exact way I was feeling. Feeling that steam of jealousy rise up in your chest, clogging your ears, souring your tongue. The feeling that made you feel isolated from everyone else.

Except, Bertolt had it a bit worse because he was caught right in between their little conversation.

I nod, sympathizing with him, knowing what he was going through. The giant responded with a frail smile, an awkward exchange between the both of us.

Overall, Bertolt was a good guy, meek and subtle, a gentleman at heart. If only he were a bit bolder, then he could do so much more. Then again, who was I to judge? I wasn't exactly the expert on communication either so I had no say in the matter.

A sigh escapes my lips and Armin looks over at me and smiles, I offer my own frail smile as well, it was the least I could do.

After a while, everyone begins to feel full so they decided it was a good idea to walk. I felt like going home but Eren convinced me to stay, taking my hand and leading me forward. I walk beside him after he lets go of my hand, I felt like taking hold of his hand again.

But Eren and Reiner began to talk so I let the idea slide. Annie, Armin and Bertolt were a few paces ahead of us, talking among themselves as well.

I take the time to look around, the weather was pleasant today with a faint scent of cherry-blossoms in the air. Honestly, I couldn't remember the last time I had taken a stroll for my leisure. Not once really, now that I thought about it.

Feeling carefree like this, it was a foreign feeling. Although, I wasn't all that carefree, even here. I look to my side to gaze at Eren, I felt like a bother.

I dug my hands deeper into my pockets, feeling the light wind pass by my feet. My eyes travel to a mother with her two children, my eyes lower. I begin to fall behind Eren and Reiner, he was too preoccupied to notice but it was alright, I didn't want him catching on to my foul mood.

What I wouldn't give to have my mother back. My family back.

Thinking about them now was a hindrance, it only brought sadness. I bite the inside of my cheek, tasting the metallic blood and swirling it with my tongue. I was caught in my mind, honestly, Levi had warned me but I had not taken heed, not until I heard my name being called out.

"Mikasa look out!" I hear Eren yell but it was too late, before I could register what happened a pair of hands grab my shirt and pull me roughly to the side. I stumble backwards a bit, clumsy bumping into the chest of whoever pulled me over.

I see a skater swerve pass me in an incredible speed, I catch a glimpse of something glistening in his pocket. The person barks a few incoherent curses and went off as quickly as he came.

"Are you alright, Miss. Ackerman?" I hear a voice above me say, I look up and met eyes with Bertolt. I recollect myself from the shock and pick myself off his chest, "I'm fine," I say. "Thank you," I adjust my scarf and Bertolt only nods and smiles.

When had he gotten so close to me? Had I been that distracted?

"That asshole!" I heard Eren swear, he comes running between me and Bertolt and he pulls me in front of him as he looks me over.

"Are you hurt?" he asks, checking once, twice, thrice.

"I'm fine, Eren," I reassure him, "honestly."

"That guy was going to crash into you bad, Mikasa!" I hear Armin say in shock, "If it weren't for Bertolt, you would have surely landed on the ground or maybe even hit your head."

Probably not, I think, I probably would have caught my fall, I had enough skill to do so if I wished but it would look suspicious. I was grateful to Bertold for helping me out though.

"Yeah," I hear Eren agree, he looked at Bertolt. "Thanks, man."

"It's no big deal," he lifts a hand, adjusting his sweater with the other.

I felt embarrassed, even if I didn't show it. I felt deep shame, if Levi had been here to witness all of it he would have punished me on the stop for my incompetence.

"Surprised something got passed the ice-queen." I hear Annie say, sarcasm laced in her words, but I don't mind her. Her words meant nothing to me.

"Mikasa isn't an ice-queen," came Eren's voice, I look over to him. He was defending me. "Don't call her that." he says while Annie's bored facial expression remains unfazed, in fact, it looked twice as indifferent as it did before.

"Well" Armin begins, always being the one to break the tension, "why don't we go into the city? We can grab the train and see what we can find. It will help lift some tension from the air, no?" he offers, taking out a neatly folded map from his pocket and extending it.

Reiner laughed, "I think that's a great idea! But you don't need a map, you got us, we know the way!" he says, patting Armin on the back rather harshly, knocking the wind out of his slim chest.

"Come on, lets go then." Eren says, taking hold of my hand as he did. I pulled him back some, staggering behind the group a bit. Eren quickly pulls me into his chest without warning, placing his hand on my back.

"Be more careful next time, will you?" he breathes into my ear. " You almost gave me a heart attack." he tightens his hold. I didn't understand why he was so worried, the only thing that could have come out of that situation was a few scrapes and scratches.

"I'm fine." I breath.

"I know but—that man he—" Eren seemed to carry on, unsure of what to say. His teal eyes searched mine. "You didn't see what that man…he had..." he trailed off, noticing my confused stare. "Never mind," he says finally, retreating from the hug, taking my hand and leading me toward the group once again.

The rest of the day carried on smoothly, we rode the train into town and visited a chain of stores. Stopping at numerous shops wasn't my idea of fun but it was manageable as long as Eren and Armin were there.

Walking around with Eren made me feel like we were on a date, I knew it couldn't count as one because we hadn't established it as one but it was an innocent thought of mine.

Eren would often take hold of my hand when the walkways became too congested. He even got in front of me and a man who was getting too close.

I looked down at our entwined hands and mused. Why had it been so hard for me to take hold of his hand but so easy for him?

Dismiss the thought I continue on normally and unperturbed. Occasionally talking and responding to Eren's statements. At some point, Eren wanted to buy me a bracelet to which I refused, he seemed dispirited but I couldn't let him buy me something. I felt too embarrassed.

"You love-sick puppy," Reiner teased as we walk pass a water fountain inside the shopping complex, he nudged Eren on his side, making him stumble.

"Shut up, will you?" Eren barks.

"Hopeless romantic," Reiner continues.

"Enough!" Eren lashes out, engaging in a brawl with Reiner. Me and Armin stand back as we watch them thrash and wrestle each other.

"Guys, come one, let's not get too physical." Armin says while raising both of his shaky hands, I could tell he never liked it when someone fought, even play fight was too much for him.

"They are idiots," I say causing Armin too look at me.

"M-mikasa!" he stammers.

"But they'll be fine." I pat Armin's back and the boy visibly relaxes, he smiles up at me.

"I guess you're right." he trails off.

The sun was setting when we finish walking through the complex, with a small sigh of relief we all headed outside. Before we leave, though, Eren stops us. "Wait! I forgot something in there, wait here for me!" he calls out, running back into the complex before anyone could even say a thing.

Reiner grumbles, "It's going to be his fault if we missed the train."

Luckily, Eren didn't take too long, he came back running and panting, mumbling an apology.

"I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting." Eren smiles widely.

"No sweat, man." Reiner shrugs.

"Actually, we're going to miss the train!" Armin announced, looking at his phone as he jumped a little, slapping a distressed hand over his forehead. "It's going to leave any second now!" he announces.

"Looks like we're all gonna have to run lady and gents!" Reiner grins mischievously. "Come on, I'll race everyone there!" he proposes, everyone exchanges looks for a split second, then, without warning, Eren and Reiner begin running down the street at top speed.

"They were serious?" Armin gawks, I look at him and smile.

I tap his shoulder, "Come on," I say as I walk past him and begin to run as well.

"Wait, Mikasa!" I hear Armin yell behind me but I keep running, I run with Eren and Reiner in my sight, I zero in on them in like a hawk. As I run I feel my muscles jolt and contract with every step I take. I feel the wind zip past my face and flow through my hair smoothly. The feeling was incredible.

I hear Armin, Bertolt and Annie's feet scramble behind me indicating that they were following as well. Good, at least now I didn't have to worry about them anymore. I look at Eren and Reiner who seemed to be engaged in a silent battle ahead of me. They were growling and baring their teeth at each other.

It looked like they were struggling to get ahead of one another. Neither was faster than the other, they were both equally matched when it came to stamina and speed. Both were breathing hard and labored, sweating bullets as they tried pushing each other out of the way.

I begin to pick up speed, feeling the wind scrape my nape. I come close to them, enough so that if I wanted I could reach out and grab Eren's hoodie. And just like that I run past them, I could literally feel their stunned expression and agape mouths that were directed at me.

I wanted to grin. When it came to physical strength I knew I could beat them. Stamina and strength is my keen ability, after all. I'd been honing these skills for a very long time.

I see the train station come into view and I push myself even further, I was about to pass an intersection when I hear Eren's piercing scream rip through the air like a bullet.

"MIKASA! _STOP_!"

Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of a large truck heading toward me, swerving in my direction. My eyes widened rapidly, my pupils dilating then constricting.

That truck had enough time and space to maneuver without hitting me, I hadn't even made it into the intersection before it came straight at me.

The headlights shine in my face and in the blink of an eye I was faced with death. I knew I could escape it, yes, but not without everyone else witnessing it. How would I explain my unnatural speed? My agility?

_Damn it._

Deciding that it was now or never I make a sharp leap forward, my muscles rippling as adrenaline shoots through my heated veins. The truck veers past me in a blur, missing me by mere inches. I roll on the ground viciously, stumbling to the floor as I come to a violent stop.

I lay on the cement with a ringing in my ears, all the sounds were numb and distant.

That truck _meant_ to hit me. It was no blundering mistake, it was an attempt to end my life. I had enough experience in my life to discern from a mistake and a voluntary action.

An _assassination._

That word kept running through my head as time seemed to slow down.

_Someone was targeting me. _My eyes open wide in realization. _So that means they can still be watching. They are watching us. _Bullets of sweat trickle down my face as everything seemed to stand still for a couple of seconds.

An alarm went off in my head then, I kneel on the ground and jerk my head upward to catch Eren and everyone else running at me. Terror seizes me.

_No, stay away from me! They'll see you, they'll target you too! Stay away!_ I wanted to scream but my voice fails me. I wanted to get up but my knee gave out underneath me, I curse out loud as I fall to the concrete again. I feel a sharp pain in my ribs and I hiss in response.

"Mikasa!" I hear Eren shout as he nears me, I look up and hold out my palm in a last attempt to make him and everyone else stop. My heart sinks when they keep running towards me, oblivious to the danger they were facing.

I look around frantically, searching for a sniper along the windows, a gunman above the buildings, anything that could pose a threat.

Eren gets to me and put his hands on my shoulders, I jolt. "Mikasa! Calm down, it's just me!" he says, but I keep looking around frantically. "Hey, look at me! Are you hurt anywhere—shit, your leg is bleeding." he claims.

I look down at my leg and realize that it was in fact bleeding but the pain hadn't registered yet. It wasn't anything drastic, only a scrape from the tumble I took. Soon, Armin and the rest reach me, they look me over with wide eyes.

I wanted them to leave, I didn't want to endanger them any further. Those men were after _me_, not them, they shouldn't have to face danger on my account. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if any of them got injured because of me.

Even though my heart was a mess and my nerves where in my throat I get up slowly—I had to act normal. For their sake I had to act composed, I couldn't let them know anything. I had to hide the truth from them.

My world and theirs had to remain parallel, as long as they didn't know I could protect them further.

"I'm fine," I announce, pushing myself off the ground, my ribs screech out and I bite back the pain, tucking away every emotion I could behind my mask.

"The fuck you are!" Eren yells. "That truck almost hit you and all you have to say is I'm fucking _fine_?" Eren spat, I feel like flinching under his gaze but I remain still. Beads of sweat roll down our face and I begin to look at the windows again, searching for a glare or reflection.

What if they were still watching? What if they had us zeroed in?

"Are you okay Mikasa? Do you need help?" I hear Armin offer with an outstretched hand.

_Yes I need help._

"No. I'm fine, you guys should go, before the train leaves." I say. _Get away from me_, I wanted to yell. "I don't want you guys to miss the train because of me. These injuries are nothing really, I'm fine." I feign composure.

Despite my words everyone remains where they are, staring at me in disbelief, eyes wide as saucers. I begin to limp forward, my mind exhausted and weary. I look at everyone. _Why aren't they leaving? Why are they staring at me like that? _

_Stop! Stop staring at me and leave. Run. Get away!_

"You guys catch the train," came Eren's voice, he looks at me solemnly. "I'll wait here with Mikasa for the next one."

I open my mouth to refuse but Eren's eyes keep me at bay. "We're staying. That's final." he declares, ending the dispute before it even began. My mouth remains agape for a couple of seconds only to be shut tightly, fiddling with my fingers I look off to the side like a child.

"But, Eren, we can't—" Armin starts.

"I'll make sure she's fine." he assures. "She won't make it to the train like this, I'll take care of her. Now go." Eren motions.

Hesitantly, everyone begins to amble forward, their eyes lingered on me for a bit until they turn and take off running toward the station. I was relieved they were gone, but I was terrified that Eren had stayed.

I dismissed the thought of there being a gunman, if someone wanted us dead that person would have done away with us a long time ago. Yet, they could still be watching, studying me and Eren, getting our information as we speak. I couldn't let anything happen to him.

"Eren I'm fine, I—" I begin.

"Shut up!" he cuts me off sharply, clenching his fists and grinding his teeth. It surprises me.

"Shut the hell up because you're not fine! Everything is not fucking fine, Mikasa!" Eren hollers, his face twisted in anger and pain.

Eren's voice shakes and his whole body seems to tremble as he glares daggers at the ground. His auburn hair obscuring his beautiful eyes, I see his chest rise and fall in rapid dips and heaves.

"Don't you know how scared I got, how frighten I was—I thought I was—I thought I was going to lose you dammit!" he bares his teeth as he lashes out. I remain rooted to the ground, I couldn't move or say a word. What could I possibly say at a time like this?

"That man—" he begins again, "that man at the park, the asshole who almost bumped into you he was carrying a knife—he was pointing it at you." Eren's lifts his head to look at me. I feel my blood run cold for the second time that day.

A strange and sudden weakness descends on me as I begin to feel a numbness in my head.

"If Bertolt hadn't move you out of the way that man would have—he would have—" Eren waver, incapable of finish his sentence. "I didn't want to alarm everyone you know," he continues a moment later. "I wanted to tell you but a part of me wanted to believe it wasn't real. That it had been a part of my imagination. But, it wasn't. Was it, Mikasa?"

Dread swallowed me, my hands trembled. He would find out, if this carried out Eren would find out.

"I saw that truck, too, it could have moved out of the way, it had enough space to just leave." Eren bit out, clenching his hands. I could no longer hear my heart in my ears, it was one of those moments where everything stood still for a couple of seconds.

I couldn't discern anything else but Eren's smooth face in front of me. I couldn't hear anything but his voice.

I felt trapped. Suffocated.

Then he said the words that caused every cell in my body to halt.

"Those people, it almost seemed like they _wanted _to kill you. I'm not stupid. Tell me the _truth_."

The truth? That wasn't an option.

"Mikasa, what's going on? Don't lie to me, just please," Eren pleaded as he seized my hands. "Please, tell me. What's going on?"

I knew he was holding back, Eren wanted to know more information than that. He wanted to ask about the scars on my arms, the bandages on my body, he wanted to ask about Levi and the reason behind the way I was. He wanted all these questions answered and so much more, I knew.

There were so many holes to my existence, so many dead ends. Everything about me was unexplained and vague. He could try to figure me out but would only be led into further complexities.

He wanted answers, I could tell by the way his eyes blinked at me. He wanted to understand me, find something concrete, something that made sense, tangible even.

But I could give him none of that.

"Mikasa, answer me." Eren entreated, shaking me some.

I remained silent. What could I say?

If I say anything to him they would kill him. If I tried explaining anything they would kill me, which wasn't a problem, honestly. It would be fine, but I couldn't die knowing I caused Eren's death as well.

Something so virtues shouldn't be cut off at its prime. It was wrong.

I begin to regret meeting Eren then, talking to him, even develop feelings for him. I knew it had been a mistake, I knew I would be walking on a fine thread and yet here I was.

I was very selfish.

My heart jumps painfully within my chest, I knew what I had to do but it seemed so wrong. I wanted to be selfish and keep him, but that wasn't the right thing to do.

I swallowed the rock in my throat. I look up at Eren with an indifferent gaze plastered on my face. I look down at his hand holding my arm.

"Let go." I say dryly, causing Eren to look confused.

"Mikasa—" his lips move.

"I said let go." I repeat harshly this time around, he lets go without a word and I turn my back to face him.

"We need to catch the next train before it leaves." I say as I begin to walk down the street, I hid the limp in my walk, I would tolerate the pain for now.

I wanted Eren to get angry with me, at least then it would be easier to deal with the ache. But he didn't fight back like I thought he would, he didn't yell at me like I wanted him to. No, he remained silent, his silence causing fear to sprout within me again.

I couldn't really read him when he was like that.

I wanted to laugh then, the only true friend I had ever made in this godforsaken piece of shit world and I had to rip him out my life. I just couldn't believe my shitty luck.

We make it to the station and wait for the next train to arrive. It was going to take a while so we sit on one the many benches in front of the station, every second ticking by was painfully silent and I knew it was no ones fault but mine.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

When the train arrives we board it without so much as a word or an exchange, I shoot Eren a few nervous glances, then I go back to staring at my hands.

On this train I was surrounded by so many people, yet, I felt like the loneliest person in the world. There were laughing and smiling faces here, yet, I couldn't summon any concrete happiness of my own. The embodiment of my happiness sat quietly next to me and I chose to disregard him. _Forced_ to ignore it. A painful oppression.

Why did it have to be this way?

The train halted with force causing me to come crashing onto Eren's shoulder. He grabs my arm and helps me up, I mumbled an apology and hurry outside as soon as the doors slide open.

I stand on the platform for a couple of seconds, dazed and unsure of what to do next. I realized my body was unconsciously waiting for Eren so I step forward and begin walking home. I ignore the voice in my head telling me to turn back.

I make it outside and wrap my scarf tighter around my neck, Eren flashes in my mind and I wince. I resume walking and begin to I hear footsteps behind me.

"Stop following me." I say as I turn around, locking eyes with Eren.

"Why?" Eren sniffles a bit and rubs his nose with his index finger, the cold was biting at him. He had a glare on his face but it wasn't directed at me, his eyes were downcast.

_I'll only hurt you_.

"Just leave me alone," I give Eren a cold look and turn around but I don't move an inch, my body wanted to stay.

"Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?" I hear Eren whisper behind me but I start walking forward.

"Mikasa! Hey, don't ignore me!" he yells. "What did I do this time? Why are you mad at me?" he shouts desperately. My heart clenches. It's not your fault, it was all my fault.

"MIKASA!" Eren screams out one last time before I disappear from sight, leaving him behind. When I'm sure he can't see me I make a run for it, I run and I run. God, it burned. My wound opens again as my ankle shoot electrifying pain throughout my body with every step I take but I ignored it. The pain, I thought, was nothing compared to the ache in my chest.

A tightness that I wanted to rip away.

I run until my lungs burn for oxygen, my muscles cried out for rest but I denied them that pleasure. Suddenly, I feel water make contact with my skin, I looked up and see dark clouds above me. Cold droplets steadily collide with my body and my clothes become soaked to the bone.

Eren's name kept recurring through my head. I didn't discern the rain, the pain, the hostile night nor the white moon that clung low in the sky. I saw none of it.

I could only hear his name in my ears, see his face with my eyes. Like a flash of light he appeared or maybe that was lightning, I couldn't really tell.

But all I knew was that in that instant, I thought I could go insane. Flat-fuck deranged, the hallucinating type of insane. The one you don't come back from.

It wasn't all because of Eren, the guilt had finally caught up with me.

Without realizing it I make it to my apartment, I walk in and head to my room, I didn't even bother taking off my clothes as I slump down on my bed. I close my eyes and for the first time in years—I have a dream. A cruel dream, nothing uplifting.

I dream of my mother and father and Eren, how the uncontrollable darkness spread around us, squeezing our insides. The images were all meshed together in a frantic haze, yet, I could distinguish every single one perfectly.

My childhood memories appear then, and I feel true fear spread inside me like weeds. I let out a muffled shriek and then fall into a dark abyss. I couldn't even tell where the ceiling began and where the floor ended.

I appear in my old home, sitting on a wooden chair, I look around only to find the familiar smiling faces of my mother and father. I begin to smile until I remember something horrible: those men. Those godforsaken men who walked in and murdered my parents right in front of me.

Those evil men deserved to be killed, I thought. I place my hands in my face and I bawl them into tight fist, I bury my face in my lap. I feel the viscosity of their blood seep down my arms.

Guilt. It was guilt that gripped my heart in that instant. Guilt for who? Those men? No, they deserved it all, they had it coming. I tried to reason with my guilt. My first kill, I thought, an unforgivable sin.

I had killed those men. I had enjoyed their pain and at the time I had thought it was the right thing to do. I felt no human sympathy for them, no shred of human dignity left inside me.

There was this coldness within me. I wasn't myself. They were like dirt to me, those men. They were the embodiment of the waste thrown away by the world.

I stared at the blood that laid on the floor, I couldn't tell who's it belonged to anymore—my parents or those filthy pigs that laid on the floor next to them. Those men were abstract, they didn't belong in a warm place like my home. I spat and kicked at the them. I detested them.

Then I choke, tears stream down my battered cheeks as I weep.

I had let my parents down. I was a kid, naturally the blame didn't befall me, yet I felt guilty because I had been present, standing there frozen, observing it all and yet doing nothing. A carried the guilt all my life, slept with it as my pillow throughout the nights.

My life—I curled into a ball on the floor—was taken by those men. I blamed them for everything. By God, yes, I did. I held them responsible for all the atrocities that had cursed my life through the years. They invoked dreamless nights drenched in cold sweat and all I could do was offer them vengeance. My eyes dance towards their bodies on the floor.

I feel something in my throat and I lay up quickly, I hunch over on the floor and I bring a trembling hand to my mouth. I felt like throwing up and at first I only gag out air, but then the stinging fluid came, hot and slimy down my throat. I could taste it in my mouth, everything felt all too real.

A sickly odor clung in the air.

I awoke with a gasp, eyes wide and frantic. I lift my body from the bed as I pant out loudly. I look around and relax when I realize it had all been a dream. A nightmare more like it, I sighed back into my bed.

I remember small portions of my dream and my heart begins to rot. Then, I get angry with no incentive as to why I was mad. I simply was.

I run a tired hand through my raven locks and debated whether I should go to school or not. I groan—I had no desire to be surrounded by people right now. I decide not to go, not today.

I had to report back to Levi, that was more important right now. Though, I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't go because of a certain auburn-haired boy. I was a coward. I accepted it.

I take a shower first then walk to my fridge and pick on a few random things. Chewing on it plainly, I grab my phone off the counter top as I swallow. I dial Levi's number.

After a while of waiting, I hear his grumpy voice from the other line. "What?" he answers.

"Are you busy?" I ask, he sounded rushed. I heard him sigh, "Mikasa, what is it?"

"I need to talk to you. _Urgently_." I say.

"About?"

"Things," I hesitate.

"Well?"

"What?"

"Get over here." he hangs up, leaving me hanging. I sit and stare at my phone, that bitch, I glared into space.

I head out in a black leather jacket with a gray hoodie underneath it, I slip in a pocket knife clad in a small sheath in my pocket. After a while of walking I feel this strange sensation on my back, as if someone was watching me.

The hairs on my neck stand up as I become alert, then, something caught my eye, a glimmer almost, like a reflection. I turn my head slightly, enough to see a black car on the other side of the road.

It's mirror tilted toward me, _they_ were watching me. It caught me by surprise that they were observing me during plain daylight. I guess they weren't trying to hide it.

I keep a fixed gaze on them, I put my hands in my pocket, preparing myself for any assault they might attempt.

Luck was on my side, though, because they pull away slowly, heading down the opposite direction. My eyes lower: they were probably going to inform their boss. I examined my surroundings, making sure the coast was clear, then I begin to walk again.

Before I realize it I am standing in front of Levi's apartment, though, his location changed constantly due to work his new place wasn't all that luxurious.

I knock on the door and hear a rustling from inside, then the door opens to reveal the jaded frown that belonged to none other than Levi, he looks me over. "Make sure you dust off your filthy shoes, I don't want dirt in here. You hear?" he says in a patronizing tone, staring down at me with those beady eyes of his as if he were taller than me.

I scoff as I step inside and immediately smell a overpowering fragrance. Did he spray a whole bottle of Febreze in here or something?

"Why did you skip school?" Levi asks while fixing his trademark cravat once we settled in his living room.

"Like I said, I came to tell you something." I respond simply, rubbing my hands together.

"So, what's this all about? What happened?" Levi asks unconcerned.

"I think someone is trying to kill me." I say bluntly, as if it was nothing. My words seem to catch Levi's attention.

"Start from the top. First, how are you so sure of this?" he asks.

"Yesterday a man tried assaulting me with a knife, then around afternoon a truck veered in my direction intending on killing me. Even today while I was coming here someone was 'behind glass'."

That was something me and Levi would say say, to be "behind glass" meant you were being watched. It was also a cryptic way of informing the other to be on the look out for danger.

"Did they see you come here?" he asks alarmed.

"No, I made sure no one was following me. I walked around a couple of times, too, to lead them astray."

"Right," Levi says. "The men behind glass, did you identify who they were?" Levi continues, placing a hand over his chin.

I shifted in my seat. "Their windows were up and awfully tinted, it made it hard to get a good visual on them." I admit.

"What about yesterday?" Levi says. "What did those men look like?"

I lowered my head in shame, I hadn't been paying much attention to their faces. "It's all—hazy," I decide to say, looking down, finding something to do with my hands.

"_Hazy_?" Levi's tone rises, thick with sarcasm and anger.

"Yes," I mutter quickly.

"Fucking unprofessional, Mikasa. Where the hell were you? La-la land?" Levi's vulgar language causes my blood boil, yet I force myself to remain calm.

He was my superior, plus he had every right to talk to me in that way. I had screwed up yesterday. I had been out of my kilter, I should have been attentive and vigilant but I wasn't.

I felt humiliated. Anger griped at me from the inside.

"Nothing? You got nothing to say?" Levi frowns as I shake my head in silent shame.

"Well, we got absolutely nothing to follow up on your case, now do we?" he says mockingly, then he motions to follow him to his office. I follow and ended up in a well-oriented room, neatly organized and unnaturally clean.

This man, I thought, had more feminine intuition than me.

Levi fiddled with a couple of manila folders on his desk, I noted they were all alphabetized. I raise an eyebrow. I had to recognize this man's incredible inclination towards cleanliness, a valuable trait honestly.

"I think I saw them wearing suits," I utter after a while. "Those men in the car, of course." I say, presenting my humiliating information.

"You _think_?" Levi glares and I snarl.

"That isn't going to get us anywhere, Mikasa." Levi flicks his eyes up at me and I glare down at him. He was trying to provoke me.

"So, their professional then? Is that what you're implying?" he asks, tapping his slim finger on his desk. I nod.

"Their different from those cheap dogs they usually hire then." Levi states, grabbing a piece of paper on his desk and examining it profoundly. I walk around him, hoping to get a glance at the paper he held in his hand.

"What do you think you're doing?"Levi says slowly, talking to me as if I were some child, he shot a nasty glare up at me. His eyes said it all: get away. I fold my hands underneath my chest and storm off to the opposite side of the room as I lean on a shelf full of books. Levi resumed his reading.

Abruptly, an image of Eren conjures in my head making my lips form into a thin line. The bitter taste in my mouth was hard to ignore, the way my heart clenched with the mere thought of him perturbed me.

I hated how he made me think of him so much.

I wanted him out of my head! How could I get him out? His touch, his scent, his image, his love: _everything_. I wanted to drain him from my bones. I wanted to forget this pain, to forget him.

Then it struck me, I glance up at Levi. That was it. I had to wipe Eren's touch with the lips of another, maybe that could erase him to a degree.

I hesitate at first, I shake my head as I think it through. Bullshit, I thought, my idea was complete _shit_. But I was completely apathetic towards the consequences now.

With my resolve in sight I walk toward Levi, causing him to glance up at me with a confused glare. "What is it?" he asks, holding that stupid paper in his hand, without thinking I knocked it out of his grasp.

I wanted to stop, I felt a tug at my chest but it wasn't enough to stop me.

"MIkasa!" Levi yells, reaching his hand out but I grab his wrists and plant it on the desk behind him, causing him to bend back over a bit. Doing this felt so odd, Levi was much smaller than I, it felt like I was the stronger one. This notion only boosted my confidence, I felt in control. Levi glares daggers at me.

"Levi," I spoke lowly, hovering over him. "I need you to help me with something." I say, closing in on him. Levi didn't step back, he wasn't threatened by my feeble authority.

"I'll give you one chance to let go of me before I wipe your face on my desk." he spoke low and menacingly. I only lean in closer, it was funny how short he was compared to me. I almost wanted to laugh. _Almost_.

"I can't do that you see, I need you to replace something." I loom over him, leaning into his face slowly—I wanted to replace it, to replace Eren's kiss. Inwardly, though, I didn't want to replace anything of his. Not ever. But I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't in my right mind.

My lips near his and then I feel the wind knocked out of my lungs.

I guess I shouldn't have be surprised when felt Levi grab my arm and twisted it, hard. I arch back in pain but before I could even register what happened I was being twisted in the air as if I were as light as a feather.

I land on my back roughly, the back of my head hitting the floor fiercely. With the ceiling in my view I wince and cringe in pain. Then I feel a pair of hands on my arms as they twist me on my belly, Levi grabs my arms and places them on my back, while his knee dug into my lower back, his other hand pressed my face into the floor.

"I don't know what kind of bullshit you're trying pull Ackerman but you better snap the fuck out of it before you end up in a body bag!" he spat in my ear and all I can do is grit my teeth in pain. He lets go roughly and I hear him walk out the room, I remain lifeless on the floor.

What had I just done?

I lay there as a moan of pain escapes my lips; Levi's words hit me hard. I snap out the my stupor. What was I thinking? I grab a fist full of my hair and pull. I was so pathetic. I wanted to cry. I felt so disgusting, so filthy, so wrong.

"Ackerman," I hear Levi holler from the other room and I automatically wanted to curl up into a ball. "Get your ass home, you need rest because you're not in your right mind. You're as pale as a ghost, eat then get some sleep. I expect your foolishness to be gone by tomorrow. I don't want any of your insolence again. You hear?" then I hear the front door slam shut and Levi is gone.

I slowly get up, I rub my nose and forcefully begin to amble forward.

Before I reach the door to Levi's office something catches my attention: the manilla folders. Levi had let them laying there, unguarded. Curiosity tugged at me and I walk closer to the desk, examining the folders with sheer delight as to what they might contain. I reached out a hesitant hand toward the folders but stop before I can even touch them.

I hesitate for only a second.

I grab the first folder and skim through it only to find nothing interesting, I grab the next and find nothing in particular that stands out. I was about to call it quits when I see the words GIANT printed across a folder in big red letters. Giant?

That caught my attention.

I seize the folder and open it quickly, a picture comes sliding out and I catch it before it can hit the floor.

My heart stops and my eyes open wide as soon as I turn the picture to see it.

It was a Eren.

My mind was unable to registering anything for a couple of seconds, then I feel something go off in my head, the back of my eyes begin to sting as they widen. I begin to search through the rest of the folder, I find his name and information. I drop the folder on the floor.

Why did the organization have Eren's information? I rack my brain for any possible answers as to why Eren's name was on Levi's desk but I was only perplexed further.

Were they…were they planning on—

No! I can't think of that, it was too early to conclude anything.

Nervously, I bend to gather up all the papers that had fallen so I could place them back to their original state. Then, I see another photograph and I catch a glimpse of blond. It was Armin this time.

Cold sweat drips down my cheek. Him, too? Why were they both here?

I couldn't fathom the reason why they were both under the organization's intel. My hands begin to tremble, the deepest part of my heart I hoping it wasn't the worst. I pushed the thought away, I couldn't bare it.

I rummage around some more paperwork, hoping to find some form of explanation but there was none. All the folder contained was their basic information.

If I wanted more information it seemed like the only way was to dig deeper into the agency. I curse aloud and glare at nothing. What were they planning on doing with Eren and Armin?

My hands ball into fists. What ever they were planning I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't trust the agency, nor Levi. I wouldn't trust any of them anymore. Gathering the remaining papers on the floor, I place them back as I found them on Levi's desk. I exited the building and head for my apartment.

The fact that Levi was watching Eren and Armin had to mean something, right?

What exactly was going on?

_Eren_?

What's wrong? Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?

I guess its true then, I think bitterly, we all have secrets. But I will protect you however I can. Eren, Armin, I won't let anyone hurt you. Even if it costs me my life.

* * *

Shit just hit the wall. Things are going to get complicated. Thanks for reading! Please tell me what you think!

I work hard on these chapters and I would really like some feedback, as a writer, people's feedback is like gold. Don't forget to drop a review to any story you read because its a helping hand to the writer.

It doesn't have to be a long review, a short one is just as good :) I would like to see my hard work pay off! Thank you so much!

BTR


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin or any of its characters, all rights go to the original creator: Hajime Isayama.

Thank you so much to those who reviewed, it's much appreciated, you guys give me the strength to keep writing .

Now please, read & enjoy.

(Following is in Eren's point of view)

* * *

She hasn't come to school for a week now; it was beginning to eat at me from the inside out. At first, I was angry with Mikasa, the way she treated me the day we went to the shopping centers was cruel and unjustified.

I was only looking out for her well-being, yet, she chose to give me the cold shoulder with no apparent incentive as to why she was doing so.

I replayed the events over and over in my head, memorized everything I had said and everything she had said in hopes to end up with a reasonable answer as to why she was mad, but I was only led into further complexities.

On the second day of her absence I was still pretty pissed so I didn't care much that she was still gone. I felt this pressure inside of my chest but I disregarded it.

Then, after the third day rolled around and Mikasa was still gone, I began to worry. I would sit in my desk with a solemn look on my face, my eyes would occasionally flicker towards Mikasa's desk and then back to the front. It became a habit of mine that week.

I started to miss her.

After the whole week was over with and there was still no sign of Mikasa I was beyond distressed. I began wondering why she hadn't come to school. It couldn't just be because of me, right? That would take our little situation to the extreme, it wasn't all that serious. Certainly not the Mikasa I knew.

I sent her many text throughout the week, all of them left without reply by the raven head. Then, my imagination began to run wild, unbound in the deep lush forest that was my mind. It got the better side of me.

Sometimes I would imagine that something had happened to her, I would reason that she was either injured or sick and I wasn't there to help her.

Apprehension gripped me. I hated the possibility of her being injured all this time and not being there to help her because of the walls of anger that prevented us from seeking each other out. It was as if we were acting like children. I detested that.

That train of thought compelled me to go to her apartment that week and check on her, she wasn't there of course. I suppressed the urge to kick down her door. I had grinded my teeth in anger that day.

Did she forget about me? Did her wrath really go this far? The worst part of it all was that I had no clue what I had done.

Then, Monday rolled around again and Mikasa didn't show up once more. Here I was now, sitting in my desk while staring off into space, worrying about her. My eyes glazed over, my heart jumping painfully inside me.

I tap my index finger impatiently on the wooden desk below me, Armin notices this and glances my way nervously.

"Eren—" he utters, I sigh, already knowing what my best friend was going to ask.

"I'm fine, Armin." I assure without so much as even glancing at him. Armin remains silent.

I didn't have to look at my best friend to know what he was doing, he probably had on a troubled look on his face, one he often wore when something bothered him. His lips were probably pressed into a thin line. He was worried about me but what could I do?

The problem wasn't all that grave. So why let him in on the discussion between me and Mikasa? I found no reason to tell him, at least not right now.

I knew I was acting like an asshole, Armin didn't deserve the way I was treating him. I wondered why the fair-haired boy had decided to stay by my side for this long despite my anger and foul treatment at times.

I cherished Armin with all my being. Why couldn't I be more like him? Calm and collective, smart and able to say the right things in unfavorable situations?

I tear my eyes from my desk to look outside the window, I wonder where Mikasa was at this moment. I wanted to be there with her, feel what she was feeling, share her thoughts, become part of her bones and blood.

I begin to feel numbness in my head, my brows drawn close in a frown while I look outside.

_Where are you? _I thought.

I probably should have followed her that night at the train station to make sure she had arrived home safely. I regretted not walking her home but she had angered me so greatly, I was infuriated and my mouth and blood became like fire.

I had cursed her, I had kicked and hit at whatever I could find that night as I walked home in the rain. I remember hearing a clap of thunder rip through the sky but I paid it no heed.

Something broke within me. I had felt a loathing sensation whenever an image of her conjured in my mind. The anger soaked into my bones and prevented me from getting much sleep that night.

Now I felt this incredible idiotic sensation slide through my insides. Getting bothered by something so insignificant wasn't worth it. It was stupid.

I sigh for the hundredth time that morning, my mind wandering yet again, traveling to other things that also bothered me. Today was the day Armin and I would meet up with Hanji after school. It had been a while since we last saw her.

She had called me that morning, informing us that she wanted us to meet her. She sounded rushed but she let slip out something about an assignment. I had groaned.

Damn, we just moved to this place and the agency already wanted to run us like dogs?

Before moving, Armin and I had lived in Germany. Even though Armin lived in Germany with me for a couple of years he wasn't originally from there, he was originally from England, he moved to Germany due to his father's work.

The man worked along side my own father and that was why Armin and I grew close and became friends. His father and mine were good friends as well.

But nothing good came of it, only misfortune and casualties. Because of our fathers Armin and I were forced to join the agency we were in today, force to leave everything we knew, forced to witness things we shouldn't have at our young age at the time.

It was all abhorrent, they were a nightmare to us.

The two of us had moved out of Germany alone due to certain circumstances that had arose back home. We had only been in the agency for a couple of years, Hanji being the only one we really trusted. When she told us we were assigned to move I was distraught and angry at first, I didn't want to leave Germany, the place I had known all my life.

The idea of moving didn't digest well with me, Armin kept quiet and composed but I knew deep down he felt unsettled as well. We both like our home. When the whole dilemma with our parents combusted, Hanji took us in and brought us to a quieter part of Germany, a place where everyone seemed to get along.

I could remember the crisp scent of the trees in the early morning, how the gravel felt underneath my feet when I ran. I remember running a lot. The air, cool as a river settled nicely around us. All the landscape was just breathtaking and phenomenal. I loved living there.

Germany was the birthplace of so many memories and tragedies, it almost felt _wrong_ to leave. But in the end we were forced to go, I was forced to leave my home yet again.

Back when I was a kid I had thought I was happy, I had thought I had a solid future ahead of me but we were all living underneath piles of lies. Lies that my father kept from us, lies that he built around us like our own home and just like our home, those lies came crashing down on us hard. Lies that caused my mother's death. Lies that caused the death of Armin's parents as well.

Lies that ended our future.

I was nine when everything came crashing down, I wasn't aware of my fathers _work_ but everything unraveled before my eyes like a poisonous snake. It was too fast for me, I didn't have time to react.

I was only a kid who was robbed from his childhood.

Armin and I had survived, our houses and our families were no more. We were broken and it was only later when we joined the agency that we discovered what our father's truly were.

We discovered that they had been apart of a secret organization, it was different from the one we were in now but their agency performed ungodly task on human experiments. Both my father and Armin's had been scientist there, they had been the greatest scientist to arise in any agency.

I learned that my father was a rather well-known man with an infamous reputation in the black market and in other areas. Naturally, when you hold such a position you are bound to have numerous enemies.

Selfish enemies that would kill, slaughter and destroy anything that got in their way of their selfish needs.

What made matters worse was that at the time our father's were working on a project, something that was extremely dangerous, something everyone else wanted to get their selfish hands on as well.

They would do anything to get what they wanted, it was as if they had no shred of human dignity left inside them.

I often wondered years later if my father's work had been that important to him, was it more important than his own family? Was it honestly worth it? Worth his and our lives? I sat months in a chair just thinking about my father and his work, how he deluded us from the truth.

It was sickening to know how I lived with my father for so long, spent time with him, held a strong bond with him, thinking I knew him yet knowing nothing concrete about him at all. My own father. What kind of sick man was he truly?

How could he smile at us and tell us everything was fine when he knew the fire he had set around us, it was practically licking our skin yet he chose to act like nothing was amiss. He didn't even warn us.

Before everything went downhill for my father he burned all his work, he knew he was being cornered so he deleted all the information he had accumulated over the years—not a trace was left. No evidence, no answers, nothing.

Except one thing. Me.

But along with his work my father disappeared, just like that, in an instant he was gone, as if he was erased from the face of the earth. But I knew he was alive, he was somewhere out there, I knew. I could feel it.

My father had abandoned me and my mother, he left us alone to bear the painful impact of his own foolish mistakes. My father was revolting, he had let us die, he didn't protect us like his duty as a man required him to do.

Because of him I lost my mother, the greatest impact you could give a child.

I felt like a simple object to him, left behind and forgotten. Did he really care about us? All those years? Did he truly care?

The day my mother died was the day my father left us, he said he had a business trip somewhere else, he had been incredibly vague and edgy. At the time I didn't think much of it, my father was a doctor and he often times left for weeks to work in another city or even countries.

That quiet and peaceful morning I remember feeling like something in the air was amiss. I noted that my father was acting strange, fidgeting and blanking out at breakfast. I dismissed the anxious feeling from my stomach, I shrugged it off like it was nothing.

Then, after he left an hour or so later they came in, destroyed everything like animals and murdered my mother like monsters. I had survived but only because I wasn't home at the time, I was playing with Armin somewhere else.

I came back to a horrifying scene.

That night I felt the disemboweling pain clearly, something deep inside me broke and my head began to swell painfully, the weight of reality hitting me hours later. My mother was never coming back. I would never be able to hug her, smile or argue with her again.

All that was all a distant dream now.

Anger swallowed me whole that day, I could see nothing or know nothing for years but the scorching anger I felt. I closed myself off from the world. The only sensation I could feel was the loathsome anger towards my father.

I wanted to find him and show him exactly how I found my mother, I wanted him to feel the pain I felt that day, they pain she had felt. I wanted him dead.

I wanted revenge on my father for leaving us, for being weak and cowardly. I also wanted revenge on those men who took her away from me, the agency he had worked for. I swore I would end them.

The school bell rings and I'm jolted out of my thoughts, I cringe and recoil a bit, holding a hand to my chest. These were painful memories that I wanted to forget—I wanted to turn them into dust and let the wind carry them away, I didn't want to dwell on them too much. My eyes scan the classroom and I see Armin.

Armin had suffered, too, alongside me. Before I knew it I was deep in thought again and set in the past.

I remember Armin's father—he had not been so lucky. He didn't get the chance to flee like my father did, the same day my father disappeared was the day Armin's parents were assassinated, too. The same day we went out to play, the same day both of our worlds ended.

Armin and I were cornered into a cruel fate of loneliness and hardships.

I remember seeing him the day after the murders, tears stood in his swollen eyes and he had those nasty chest-chokes you always get whenever you cry for too long. He had told me that he wished he'd died with his parents that afternoon.

At the time I was too numb and angered to even care, I looked at him with empty eyes and only stood there emotionless as he began to wail in front of me.

I couldn't register his cries that day, everything was numb, I couldn't even function properly.

He was scared and alone—the both of us were scared and alone.

I told him to get his head straight, to be grateful we were still alive. I tried feigning matureness, I attempted to inspire valor in him when I alone had no bravery left within me at the time.

But I had thought that was what a man would do. Deep inside however, I was as scared and weak as he was. I admired Armin thought, because he could accept his faults.

I couldn't accept mine. I was always fighting them.

We were both far _too_ small for the things we witnessed, far _too_ young to fend for ourselves, far _too_ naive to live without our parents by our side. It was only natural that Armin felt desolated and demented.

Our state was understandable.

Armin became my family in those times, we depended on each other for survival. All we had left in the world was each other.

Several days passed until we met Hanji, we had struggled on our own for a bit, out in the streets we were filthy and cold. Then, Hanji appeared out of blue one night, smiling down at us and hugging us both as if we were her own.

Both me and Armin were perplexed as to why this stranger was hugging us, I even tried to attack her, thinking that she wanted to cause us harm.

But she calmed us down, claiming that she did not want to hurt us. She said she would give us a home and food, a warm place to sleep for the rest of our days. We cried in her arms that night, we were still so young, our hearts heavy and grim expressions plastered on our battered faces.

We had fought alone and we had survived, that was all that mattered to me back then. Survive, become stronger for the day I could seek my revenge on all the men who destroyed me.

Hanji took us away from our town, she took us to a different part of Germany, it was difficult to adjust to the change at first but we learned to adapt.

We had to adapt, forced to grow up faster than the rest of the kids our age. That was how the world worked. It was merciless and unforgiving down to it's core.

We were fine at first but soon Armin and I quickly came to regret being taken in by Hanji. We didn't know getting involved with her meant joining an organization much like our fathers had been apart of.

I rejected it all at first, the thought of being like my father made me want to vomit, it felt like his ghost was following me around. I refused to participate in anything he had come to be apart of.

But we didn't have much of a choice, it was either join the agency or stay outside in the cold with no food and no home. I didn't want Armin to live like that anymore, I didn't want to go back to that.

For a short time I was completely mute with a grim look in my eyes. I would go days without eating but when I did it was absent-mindedly. After some time, though, I loosened up with the help of Armin and Hanji.

Hanji was nice, despite her insane personality. For a while I hated her, she reminded me of my father, only because she was a scientist just like him. That and it had dawned on me that the only reason she took us in was to gather up information on our parents.

I didn't tell Armin this because the fair-haired boy seemed to appeal to the glasses-wearing sadist, I kept that part to myself but I was almost certain that was the only reason Hanji took us in.

Maybe Armin realized it, too. He was extremely perceptive after all.

After a few days of thinking it through I came to realize I could use the organization as a means to find my father. He was alive, I could feel it in my bones, the agency was tracking him down and I could use that to my advantage.

So I decided to join the organization.

As a result, Armin agreed to join as well. It surprised me at first, he didn't look like the type to handle the sight of blood well and I was right, he did more planning and navigating with Hanji, he helped her around the lab, too.

Armin was better at research than the dirty work, I was the one befitted for that kind of work.

At first, the only fuel that kept me going was finding my father and getting the answers I deserved. I would do anything the division wanted me to, I was a pawn under their control. That was the burden my father had passed down to me.

We all eventually settled down again, performed jobs we were ashamed of but we got accustomed to it all. I even became good at it, enjoyed it at times.

The bell rang then, snapping me out of my reverie for the second time today, I hadn't even realized I was in my next class and lunch time had already started.

Had I really blanked out that long?

I was in dismay during lunch, Armin notices this as we search for a quiet place to eat. I didn't want to say I word, I didn't even want to think anymore. I felt a headache rising in the back of my head.

Armin opens his lunchbox."So, we meet Hanji today, another job maybe?" Armin begins speaking mindless, I hear him chatter with his fork and knife.

"Probably," I grumble, glaring at my food, placing some potatoes in my mouth. We fell into silence for a while then Armin brakes it again, much to my displeasure.

"Did something happen to Mikasa? She hasn't come to school for a week." Armin decide to ask the question I was dreading.

"I don't know," I utter lowly.

"Are you sure?"

I shift in my seat. "I don't know, she got mad at me the day she got hurt." I say without thinking.

Armin sits up, surprised. "Mad? Why did she get mad?"

"Something I did, I guess."

"Well, what did you do?"

"All I did was help her out, oh and I told her that those accidents seemed kind of strange. I couldn't even finish my train of thought before she was up and off towards the train station. She was working hard at ignoring me completely. You know how she is, quiet and irritating." I scratch the back of my head in irritation.

Armin looks at me with a frown, then something slides over his features, as if he came to realization something. I knew that look in his eyes, he was a smart kid after all, smarter than anyone I knew. I could almost see him piecing the puzzle pieces together in his head.

He was thinking the same thing as me.

Mikasa, she was...someone was trying to…

"No." I break the silence.

"I haven't even said anything." Armin claims.

"You don't have to. Your eyes say it all."

Armin looks at me rather surprised, he turns back to his meal but he wasn't eating it, he was staring at it deep in thought again.

We both knew Mikasa was a bit strange, we both dismissed it at first, knowing nothing was certain. Just speculations we thought. Yet, both those incidents at the park and on the road were odd, we both knew what they could imply.

To the normal human eye nothing would seem amiss, just accidents they would call it, but both of us weren't normal, we saw further than what the eye could perceive.

But I was in denial.

"So you think that man at the park _intentionally_ had a knife pointed at Mikasa," I flinch, Armin continues. "I saw it, too, that man had a knife no doubt about it. So, do you think that—" Armin pauses to look at me with a worried expression.

I sit up, outraged. "No," I begin quickly again, looking away. "She can't be—"

"It's possible," Armin interjects.

"I said no, now shut it. Case closed." my tone rises.

"But, it could be a possibility, Eren. Think about it."

"Okay, I get it, but no." I look away.

"Eren don't put your personal feelings into this." Armin says with a serious look in his eyes, beads of sweat stood out on his face which gave away his nervousness, he was walking on thin ice after all.

I give him a rather nasty sideways glance that screamed _enough_ but he was relentless.

Armin continues, "If all this is true then maybe she's involved in something like I had first thought, I didn't want to say anything because I knew you had gotten too involved. Either way, she has something going on that's causing her to be a target. Someone out there is trying to kill her."

"Shut up for one second will you!" I bellow loudly, getting up with my fist clenched at my sides. My lunch falling to the ground, Armin flinching at the sound.

My shoulders drop. "It just can't be—not her. Why is someone trying to kill her?" I stammer.

Armin places a hand over my shoulder. "I don't know, but I don't think asking her is a good idea. I know what you're thinking, Eren." Armin pauses to look at me. "We could try asking Hanji about this or even investigating a little bit ourselves. Just to make sure she's safe." he offers.

"That four-eyed freak has more secrets than my father himself!" I exclaim sarcastically as Armin places a finger on his chin, deep in thought.

"I do wonder what Mikasa could be hiding, she was always so distant, I guess now we have an idea why she was like that." Armin says and my eyes grow downcast.

It all made sense now why she was acting the way she was. I grit my teeth in anger, I feel pain deep within my chest remembering her cold demeanor, her dead eyes. I had been right, oh how I had wished I was wrong but I was right. Something was wrong truly wrong in her life.

The bell rings and we both jump. "Lunch is over already? Guess we'll have to wait until school is over to talk to Hanji." Armin says as he gets up, gathering his lunchbox and waiting for me to join him once he walks forward.

I stand there for a moment, thinking about Mikasa, I didn't want to wait until school was over to find out, it was too long. Hanji probably wasn't going to give us any solid information anyway.

It was a fruitless battle, I was sure.

I get up, dust myself off and join Armin. Once we return to class Reiner looks at me and loopy smile spreads across his face, I narrow my eyes. What is he thinking?

"Yo, Eren, where's your girlfriend?" he asks aloud, emphasizing the girlfriend part because he knew it got under my skin.

"Mikasa is not my girlfriend." I claim.

"I didn't even say it was Mikasa, you said that yourself." he points out and I snap my head towards him with a glare set in place.

"Fuck off." I spat.

"So, where is she? The school's prodigy? She hasn't been here for a whole week. It's Monday now, did something happen to her? You were the last one with her, was her injury really that bad or did you kidnap her to have her all for yourself?" Reiner spoke in jest.

"Hilarious," I deadpan. "I don't know why she hasn't come to school." I say.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Annie face us, she looks at me then turns around again. I couldn't never tell what she was thinking.

"That's a odd, I figured you would know where she is ya know and if she's okay since you're always with her like a damn leach." Reiner began again and I glare daggers at him.

"Why do you even care? Huh? Do you have a crush on Mikasa or something?" I bark.

"What? No! Just wondering." he waves a hand.

"Sure," I say.

"Well, when are you coming to the dojo again?" Reiner draws out.

"I don't know, I'm going to be busy today. Plus, I don't want my arm getting twisted again by Annie." I turn to look at her.

"I didn't twist your arm," Annie spoke plainly, solemn eyes. "That was your own fault. Don't squirm next time."

"How can I not squirm when you had me in a death grip?" I say, grabbing my shoulder in recollection of the pain. Then, Mikasa's face conjures in my head and my eyes lower.

"What's wrong Eren?" I hear Annie inquire monotonously when I sit in my desk next to her, I look at her and shake my head.

"No, nothing. Just thinking." I assure her.

"About Ackerman?" she said bluntly. She hit the nail perfectly, always a straight shooter. How did she do that?

"No," I lie through my teeth, refusing to give anything away. "I was thinking about our time at the dojo, you're an amazing fighter. Where did you learn how to fight?"

Annie pauses and pulls back some blond hair that obscured her eyes. "My dad taught me." she says then faces the front. I kept looking at Annie for a bit longer, looking past her to something distant, deep in thought again.

"Is your face stuck?" I hear her say moments later.

"What?" I didn't understand.

"Is your face stuck?" she repeats.

"No?"

"Then stop staring at me."

This girl, I thought, Annie Leonhardt, she was just as mysterious as Mikasa was, if not even more. At least I knew Mikasa a bit more. She was a lot like Mikasa in many aspects, both were extremely distant, both carried themselves with an air of security, both held the same lonely look in their eyes.

I was staring at Annie but I could see Mikasa in my head. Then, my attention shifted back to Annie, I felt that she was also fighting an internal battle as well. Weren't we all? I wanted to help both of them, Annie and Mikasa.

Bring them back from that consuming darkness they were both drenched in. I wanted to show them that even though this world was cruel and cold hearted—there was still some hope left to it.

But could I do it? I couldn't even help myself so how could I help them?

Well, that wouldn't stop me from trying, I would never know the outcome if I never tried. And maybe, along the way they could help me in some way as well. There was still so many obstacles standing in my way before I could truly be happy.

The ability I possessed given to me by my father was the greatest obstacle I had. Only a select few knew what I could do, what I could turn into. If people found out what I was capable of, what I was, they would consider me appalling.

I was a monster.

I wonder what Mikasa would think of me if she knew.

After school, Armin and I walk toward the rendezvous point Hanji had pointed out. We wait inside a vacant coffee shop for her, she always took her sweet ass time getting here, it was exasperating.

Ten minutes later Hanji appears, holding a coffee cup in one hand and wearing a grand smile across her face. "Yahoo! You guys made it!" she jumps up and down a little, almost spilling her scorching black liquid on me.

"Hey, watch it you crazy freak!" I say, inching her coffee cup away from me. "What took you so long anyway?" I glare.

"Why you ask? Well, I was getting everything prepared for you boys! Armin how are you?" Hanji turns to Armin and gives the boy a wide, white smile.

"I'm well, thank you for asking." Armin bows slightly and I roll my eyes.

"Don't get jealous, Eren." Hanji smirks.

"As if." I huff.

Hanji envelopes Armin in a tight one-handed hug. She turns towards me and leans into my face causing me to lean away.

"And how are you, my little prized possession?" Hanji grabs one of my hands, her face inching closer to mine as she blushed madly, I could almost see a trickle of saliva down her mouth. I scoot away from her in disgust.

"Gross. I'm not anyone's possession!" I say, jerking my hand away from the crazy four-eyes.

"Aww, Eren, you cutie, you break my heart!" Hanji feigned pain in her chest, then, she begins walking out of the store. "Come on you two!" she beckons, we follow her hesitantly and Armin shoots a gentle smile at me.

Once we make it safely into headquarters we take off our jackets and place them on a rack, Hanji take us into her office and shuts the door behind us. "Please take a seat," she instructs, becoming very serious, her glasses reflected the sun's rays on them, obscured her eyes from us.

An eerie feeling settled between us.

"Now, how are you liking the new transfer?" Hanji inquires, knitting her hands together.

"Fine." was my curt reply, Armin goes further into detail to which I zone out a bit.

"Made any new friends, Eren?" Hanji waves a hand in front of me, trying to get my attention.

"Plenty," I claim sarcastically.

"That's good, right? Last transfer didn't go so well did it? You had a lot of trouble in school, if I remember correctly." the brunette said. "Well then, on to more important matters, huh boys?" Hanji claps her hands together.

"Great," I breathe.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say your new assignment is relatively small, but it isn't something difficult either, well, nothing you boys can't handle." she winks.

"We're targeting a group of men who've been doing some shady business at a large warehouse located south from here. It's located around a large crop field, do you know which one I speak of, Armin? I did give you the information about this whole town, did you study it like I told you to?" Hanji pauses to ask.

"Yes, ma'am I know those fields." Armin answers. "Although, I have to admit I don't know much about the warehouse itself." he twirls his fingers in his lap, shifting in his seat.

"Don't worry about that now, I'm going to give you the blueprints. I need you to study them diligently, understand?" Hanji takes out the blueprints and hands them to Armin.

"Yes, ma'am." he nods.

"Now, for you Eren," Hanji continues, her eyes landing on me. "You probably already know what it is."

I sigh with a heavy heart. Yeah, I knew alright.

"I'm sorry Eren, I know you don't really like doing these kind of things, but I think this will give us some information about your father, too." Hanji tried to smile.

"That's what you said about the last one." I stare into space.

"Yeah, well we're not perfect. Wherever there is a possibility, we take it." She proclaims, her eyes seeming hurt, I didn't know if it was guilt she was feeling or what it was. Hanji stood up from her desk and rounds it, stepping in front of us.

"Eren, you are to eliminate everyone there, understand? No survivors. Zero. Those men are dangerous, they won't hesitate to kill you if you let them. More importantly: don't let anyone spot you. You can't be seen there." Hanji crosses her arms over her chest. "For this mission Eren, you're going to be using a gun instead of a sword, understand?"

"What? Why a gun? Why can't I use my sword?" I blurt out loudly before I can control myself. I disliked using guns, they were too noisy.

"I know you like using your sword but we need to keep things clean, we can't have blood spilling all over the floor. A gun is more suitable, don't worry though, you'll be using a silencer so the gun won't make a lot of noise. Now, I need you find the head hancho and bring him back alive, I don't care how you do it, just don't kill him." Hanji instructs.

"Fine," I nod off to the side. "Stalk and kill. Roger."

"Yes, none of them must be aware that you even entered and exited that place."

"No backup then?" Armin inquires.

"No, it will only be you and Eren on this mission, you are both more than capable. Armin, you will be giving Eren instructions from the outside—here." Hanji hands us a pair of black earpieces. "The mission starts at midnight, you'll have the darkness to your advantage." Hanji smiles, Armin nods while I keep my frown in place. We head for the door but Hanji stops us before we could leave.

"Wait! I almost forgot! A little heads up but you might be teaming up with Second soon, although I don't know when." Hanji informs nonchalantly and my eyes almost bulge out of my sockets.

"You mean _The _Elite Second?" I repeat with awe. "The super soldier trained by First himself, the agent that's the "right arm" of First?"

Hanji sits up. "Thats right, I know I haven't told you their identity yet and I'm sure you understand why. They are fiercely protected by the agency due to their outstanding abilities, they are quite infamous despite their faces not being knowing by many. You two have crawled up the ranks and are privileged enough to work with the top assassins in all the agency." Hanji states.

"Will we meet First as well?" Armin inquires, surprised as well.

"Sure you will! I actually go way back with First himself, he's quite the clean freak truthfully."

"Fuck, that's the best news I've heard all day, we're going to work with Second and even meet First? I wonder what Second is like, he must be crazy strong." I voice my thoughts, feeling privileged and nervous at the same time, a fist taking hold of my stomach and crunching it.

I couldn't wait to meet the super soldiers I've heard so much about.

Then, I hear Hanji chuckle a mirthless laugh. "Second is actually a female, Eren."

I snap my head towards her. "She is? A female? That's impressive." I say, though I wasn't really all that fazed, I knew some very strong females already, Mikasa and Annie being two of them but I knew none of them could match up the the raw power that was Second.

At least, that was what I've heard about Second's power, no one has really seen her but not one soul in all the agency could beat or match Second in her combat skills. She was ruthless and merciless, getting the job done faster than any human alive.

At least, those were the rumors that went about.

"Alright, you two need to get home and study, you have a long night ahead of you, after all." the scientist says getting up and meeting us to the door. "I wish you the best of luck on your mission."

"Whatever," I say, the thought of the mission giving me a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Thank you, Hanji. We will do our best." Armin waves good-bye and we exit her office.

Then Armin jolts as if remembering something and looks back. "Oh wait! Hanji I wanted to ask you something, do you happen to know anything abou—"

"Armin!" I cut him off loudly, knowing that he was going to ask about Mikasa. I didn't know why but all of a sudden I didn't trust Hanji. I didn't want her to know about Mikasa.

Armin looks at me with wide eyes, bewildered.

"Do I know about what?" Hanji perks up, tilting her head to the side. I look at her with a frown, unsure as to what to say.

I grab Armin's wrist and lead him away. "Nothing, just forget it." I call out, refusing to look back, I walk as quickly as I could.

"Eren!" I hear Armin say behind me, trying to match my quick pace. "I don't understand."

I stop, causing the fair-haired boy to almost crash into my back. I breath in slowly.

"Look I just don't want Hanji to know about Mikasa, not yet. I don't know, I can't describe this feeling." I say, looking down. Would Armin understand me?

"Okay, it's okay, Eren. Just don't scare me like that again." I hear Armin say unsure, that causes a loose smile to break out in my face. I look back at him.

"You were scared?" I say and Armin jolts, embarrassed.

"Well, yeah! When you do stuff like that you're unpredictable!" my best friends frowns and I want to laugh.

"You're still a scaredy cat I see." I begin to walk forward again, my hands in my pockets, Armin follows.

"I'm trying to be brave." he sounds defeated.

I pause. "No, it's good, stay that way." I was glad that although we have lived through many hardships, deep down Armin had not changed, he was still intact. I felt relieved.

After we leave and return to our separate apartment rooms, Armin comes over to mine and spends the rest of the evening working on the blueprints. His room was adjacent to mine, making it extremely convenient for the both of us to work together when we had to.

We devise strategies to infiltrated the warehouse, we compose escape routes if things went south as well. After figuring things out, revise them and repeat them for precautions all we had left to do was sit here and wait until the time came to depart.

Armin sat at my desk, working arduously on some more paperwork while I establish myself on my bed. I lay there deep in thought, the thought of the time when we went into the shopping complex with Mikasa and everyone else engraved in my mind.

Then something clicked in my head, I rose from the bed and head for my drawer, I open it and pull out a small silver bracelet from within. I had bought it for Mikasa the day we went out, without the said girl knowing I had did so.

She had refused my offer to buy her something but I had been so stubborn, I went back and bought her the damn bracelet. I twirled the shimmering silver in my hand, observing how the light bounced off of its cool lining.

I really wanted to give it to her, I guess now all that seemed hopeless. I sigh, placing the trinket back underneath the clothes I had buried it under. I stalk towards my bed and crash.

I feel my eyes grow heavy and I close them for a while, feeling a sting behind my eyes. After a while I'm awoken by Armin, I was still swallowed up in my temporary sleep as I yawn loudly and stretch my limbs out like some cat.

"Is it that time already?" I voice groggily, checking the time. Eleven-twenty.

"Yes," Armin utters, his eyes void of emotion as well. I hated seeing him like that. So dead, so uncharted.

I sigh and pat Armin's head reassuringly while looking up at the ceiling, I almost didn't want to wake up for this mission. I stand and head over to grab my black jacket, I drape it over my body.

I reach for my bag that contained all the necessary equipment for the mission and placed it over my shoulder, I grab my gun, the silencer and bullets. I check over myself again, making sure nothing was forgotten.

I let my humanity slip away from me as I close my eyes.

"Right," I say lowly, opening them, grabbing the keys to the car. "Let's head out then."

* * *

What did you guys think? I hope I didn't confuse you with Eren and Armin's past.

I also introduced the elite soldiers First and Second, wonder who they could be. I'm sure you have good guesses. I am also aware that a soldier is not an assassin but I decided to just keep the title.

Have any questions or comments? Please let me know in a review, they really do mean a lot and give me encouragement to write the next.

Till next time, BTR.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no kyojin or any of it's characters.

I want to give a special thanks to those who reviewed, I've claimed before that you guys are the fountain of my inspiration and motivation.

Following is in Author's point of view.

* * *

The night was cold and dreary, patches of grey clouds clung over the moon. It was a dry and cold night, the atmosphere was heavy, as if it could suck out the wind right from your lungs.

The night was in full effect and the darkness was deep, it seemed endless. It could knock you off your feet if you weren't careful.

Eren and Armin crouch low to the ground, low enough that Eren could smell the faint scent of rich dirt. They were near the warehouse, it was only a few feet away.

The moon was obscured by patches of sparse clouds but Eren knew they would move out of the way soon. For now though, they made it impossible to see anything beyond your nose. Eren tried to remain close to Armin as they travel through the dense crops on foot, he didn't want to lose the small boy on the way.

There were fireflies dancing in the night, spreading their pale yellow glow all around, only serving to make the darkness seem more profound.

Armin and Eren reach the end of the tall crops that gave away into a clearing, it led to the gloomy warehouse ahead, it was gigantic but rusted down by time.

Breathing low, Eren sees his breath escape his mouth and condense into a white mist. "Fuck, it's cold." Eren whispers, rubbing his hands together. He adjusts his earpiece and checks for his gun and ammunition. Everything was set.

"We need these clouds to disperse." Armin whispers to himself, as if on cue the clouds slowly slither out of the way, allowing the moon to spread its pale light. "Perfect," Armin whispers seconds later, holding his earpiece closer to his ear as he stares at his wristwatch.

"I'm going to check the earpieces, you ready?" Armin whispers against the cold and Eren gives him a loose thumbs up.

"Checking one, two, three. Do you copy?" he begins to mumble.

"Copy." Eren repeats and Armin nods.

"When I give you the cue go to the side of the building, then listen for my instructions. Just like we rehearsed." Armin instructs, looking at the warehouse rather than Eren.

"Roger." Eren nods, fixing his hollow gaze on the warehouse as well. Armin places his palm in front of Eren. "Five, four," he begins to count off lowly with his digits while looking at his watch.

"—three, two, one!"

As soon as Armin gives the clear Eren bolts stealthily towards the warehouse, ducking and hiding behind inanimate objects as he went. The distant light from the moon made it possible to discern shapes and objects if you weren't accustom to it.

But Eren was, he was more than comfortable with the darkness.

Once he makes it to the side of the building and places his back on the warehouse's wall, Eren breathes and whisper into his earpiece. "Safe," he announces.

"Okay Eren, I need you to go behind the warehouse, there should be a flight of stairs tucked away near the first column of windows." Armin utters.

"10-4." Eren says as he narrows his eyes. They used "10-4" to indicate they understood and apprehended the command.

Eren nods as he locates the flight of stairs, he pulls the cold metal down quietly and hops on them.

"Ready," Eren whispers again.

"Go to the third floor, that's the highest floor and the one you're going to start on. You can work your way down from there." Eren hears Armin say through the earpiece. He begins to ascend, careful to not make a sound. After a while of slowly making his way up—careful to pass the windows as he climbed—Eren finally makes it to the third floor.

He flicks his pocket knife out and props it underneath the window, forcing it open gently, Eren steps in, quiet as a mouse but vigilant as a hawk. The room he enters is vacant, much like a graveyard, it seemed forgotten as well, it was collecting heavy amounts of dust.

"Are you in, Eren?" came Armin's voice.

"Yeah," Eren confirms. "Instructions?" he holds his earpiece closer.

"There are a total of approximately thirty men in the building, maybe more, you know what to do. Head out to point A on the first floor, that's the boss room but leave that for last. First, head toward rooms 140 and 150 on the third floor, and room 84 in the second floor which contains equipment, we need those samples. Check all the rooms thoroughly, make sure nothing is left—" Armin grows silent.

"Right, I'm heading out now." Eren says.

"Eren..." Armin pauses, "please be careful." he breathes.

"Right." was all Eren says, trying to keep as quiet as he could.

Eren knew Armin couldn't see him but he nods anyway, knowing Armin would understand his silence. Eren clasps his gun in both hands and secures it within his tight grip, he points the muzzle downward to the floor as he slides through the thick air.

He could see a dim light shine underneath the threshold and he swallows the lump in his throat.

Eren bites the inside of his mouth and he soon tastes blood. The metallic liquid upsetting his system. He felt this odd dip sensation in his stomach, a twisting like chains, unlike the way Mikasa made his stomach flip with excitement, this sensation was nauseating.

A feeling Eren had never gotten accustomed to over the years.

Eren opens the door with great caution, he exits the room and steps into an open-steel platform with handrails lining the narrow catwalk. He places his back to the wall, he could already hear the laughter of men below.

'Room 140 and 150,' Eren keeps repeating the numbers in his head as he slowly glides down the platform, suddenly, the door next to him flies open and Eren halts abruptly in his tracks.

A tall and bulky man emerges from within the bleak room holding nothing but a beer in his over-sized hand. Eren exerts an innate sense of agility as he springs forward and grabs the clueless man by his neck, submitting him into a deathly choke hold.

In one fluid motion Eren contracts his muscles and severs the man's neck quickly, successfully preventing the man from scream and alerting his companions nearby. He held him in his arms and slowly laid him on the floor, careful to set him nice and slow.

Eren softly places the man back inside the empty room he had emerged from, making sure that he didn't make much ructions.

'One,' Eren counted the dead, something he found himself doing every time he went on a mission. He was inflicting himself with pain by doing it, he knew, but he felt this immense guilty consume him if he did nothing.

He needed to keep count of the dead.

Eren proceeds to check the other rooms, he takes down six more men on the way. 'Six, seven...' he counts as he goes.

Then came Armin's voice again. "Eren, check the inside of a room with the red door. Do you see it? Are you still on the third floor? It should be there at the far end." there was a shiver to his voice that made Eren worry.

Eren listens to Armin's instructions as he gently lowers the body of another limp man on the floor, he hurried to reach the end of the steel platform. He wanted to get this mission over with already. He couldn't stand the filth on his hands anymore.

'Eight...' his gaze lingering on the body.

"It's really cold out here," Armin states suddenly, causing Eren to halt.

"I''ll try to hurry." Eren whispers as he rushes down the steel platform, he makes it to the designated room and pushes through the red door. After entering the dark room and shutting the door behind him, Eren examines its interior, wooden crates filled the chamber, they were scattered about and some were stacked on one another.

"What are these?" Eren spoke to himself, pressing his lips into a thin line, his brow coming together strongly. He pries one box open smoothly with his pocket knife, he pushes the styrofoam away, exposing an abundant amount of needles. Eren cocks his head to the side.

"Needles?" he says into the dark, the needles glistened with the help of the moon. They were clear and small in size, there were over a hundred in this one box alone.

'Are the rest of these boxes the same?' Eren wonders as he steps to the next box and pries it one open as well. The same. He opens the next then another and another until he was satisfied with the outcome, his previous thoughts confirmed. All of them were filled to the rim with countless silver needles.

"What did you find Eren?" came the unsettled voice of Armin from the outside.

Eren pushes sweat off his forehead. "Needles," he pauses, grabbing one and twirling it in his hand. "Boxes filled with needles."

"Needles? I wonder for what...experiments?" Armin wonders with a eerie feeling.

"That's what I would like to know." Eren's fist tighten around the needle, his jaw clenching. He hears an abrupt sound come from outside the room and he tenses, he hastily wraps the needle in a cloth and settled it at the bottom of his coat pocket.

Sprinting towards the door, Eren presses his back next to it, ready to ambush whoever decided to come through it. The noise ceases in front of the door however, Eren looks down and catches the sight of a shadow standing at the entrance of the closed door.

'Their hesitating...do they know I'm in here?' Eren wonders, hands twitching in anticipation for the unseen.

Eren unknowingly holds his breath, he brings his gun to eye-level, ready to fire. Then, ever so slowly the shadow behind the threshold disappears, Eren hears its recipient run back down the steel railing.

"Shit!" he curses. 'Someone knows I'm here!' he surmises as he pulls a black hoodie over his head, concealing his face.

Eren steps outside the room and quickly points his gun at the retreating figure with hoodie over it's head as well, the figure was already near the stairs that lead to the second floor, it was running at top speed with great agility.

'Damn, their fast.' Eren's teeth clench.

He fires his weapon automatically, the loud clap of the metal bullet lulled by the silencer but missing the shadowy figure by mere inches as it ducked to the side in a split second.

Eren's eyes widen. 'It dodged it? A bullet? This person isn't one of those bastards below, this is an agent!' Eren swiftly fires more rounds, his victim intersecting one with a knife. Split, right down the middle.

Eren was transfixed, pure awe flowing through his veins. He felt something inkling to fear, a odious sensation.

The roar of the bullet hitting the metal walls resonated from the ceiling to the bottom, rumbling like a dry earthquake throughout the whole facility. Eren witnesses the shadowy figure shoot a man who came running up the stairs upon hearing the noise,then it jumps off the railing to the second floor.

"By God," Eren remains rooted to the spot, gazing at the place the figure had just been. He did a double take.

'He's shooting them too? He's their enemy as well?' Eren basis his thoughts, sweat sliding down his chin. More shots were fired from down below and Eren snaps out of his trance, he shakes his head and breaks out into a run.

Suddenly, the lights went out in the whole warehouse, submerging the atmosphere in complete darkness. The only light visible came from the moon, it was a poor source of lighting, only the experienced could navigate through it.

Lucky, Eren knew how to, the moon was enough to guide his steps.

"Eren! Eren are you okay? I heard gunshots!" came the frantic voice of his partner outside.

"Armin, head to the car! Did you hear me? Don't stand at the edge of the field anymore, its too dangerous. Run! Head to safety!" Eren pants out into his earpiece desperately as he reaches the flight of stairs. He wanted to make sure Armin was safe before he proceeded.

Eren foresaw a bloodbath commencing.

"What happened? " Armin's voice quivers with fear through the earpiece.

"Just go! No discussion!" Eren practically roared over the clamor of the men screaming below. Who ever this person was, they were certainly causing mayhem. 'Shit, that's what I wanted to avoid.' Eren jumps down the stairs, he had no time to walk them through.

He ducks down near an objects in a split seconds as a stray bullets zips past his head. If he was careless he would be killed on the spot. His eyes scan the facility for the rogue agent who was already heading down to the first floor.

Eren tires firing his gun at the person but he was too fast. "Fuck, who is this guy? Sonic the Hedgehog?" Eren grinds his teeth together incensed, he makes a sounds within his throat, low and deep like the rumble of an approaching storm.

His wrath growing by the second.

Eren kicks and throws a man off the railing, he shoots more coming his way. Then, he heads to the first floor where the rogue agent was engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a couple of men.

It possessed uncanny speed, each strike inspired fear and astonishment inside Eren. He had never witnessed such a sight, such strength.

It made his blood boil.

Eren caught glimpse of a man from above pointing his gun at the rogue agent, he quickly pointed his own above, his gun exploding as a piece of iron pierced the man between his eyes, causing him to topple over the railing.

Eren reloaded his weapon and continues shooting men down, he could no longer keep count. It occurred to him that it appeared like he was helping the mysterious figure cloaked in black, as though they were almost a team.

He shakes his head, he knew nothing about this person, the right thing to do was shoot him down now while he was distracted. This figure's objective was probably the same as his: obtain the boss. Eren couldn't let this person beat him.

"_Get to point A."_ Armin's voice echoes through Eren's head as he aims his gun at the hooded agent ahead of him, he fires and it grazes the person's cheek. But the agent didn't seem interested in him, it only kept charging towards the boss's room.

'No way in hell I'm letting you beat me!' Eren thinks as he breaks out into a run behind the rogue agent. They both engaged in dodging, fighting and shooting whoever dared interfere with their course of direction.

Both Eren and the anonymous agent run down towards the room at the end of the building, both leaving disaster in their wake.

The cloaked figure enters the room first with a forceful kick and Eren follows in suit. They both separate and head for opposite sides of the room, they place their backs behind some steel crates that held the room together.

A single but large window hung low to the far end of the room, it gave off enough light to distinguish the shape of a fat man and his wooden desk. The shadows cast by the steel crates were vast enough to obscure and conceal Eren and the nameless agent from each other.

Eren didn't know if that was an advantage or disadvantage.

"Who's there?" the large man bellowed out in fear, he kept repeating that question into the air but his disoriented question was only met with the sound of his own echo.

A silence that was thick as steel emitted from the room, it made Eren's heart jump to his throat, his ears ringing painfully. A silence that made your imagination run wild with undefined fears.

Eren witnesses the rogue agent run out of the shadows with striking speed. It ran until it reached the drug-trafficking man at his desk, the fat man let out a scream as he was submitted down at gunpoint. The agent's hoodie was still secured to its head, making it all but impossible for Eren to see who it was.

Eren couldn't let the rogue agent kill the boss, his order was to bring him back to Hanji alive. Eren shot his gun and with a single back flip the figure dodged the bullet aimed at it's head, disappearing back into the shadows it emerged from. Eren hid behind a steel beam as he reloaded his gun, letting out a labored breath.

"What's going on Eren?" Eren hears Armin yell from the earpiece but he decides to ignore him, instead, he keeps his concentration on the rogue agent. He knew that if he took his eyes off the agent for one second he would die.

He had to come up with a plan to take this person out, it was either his life or theirs. It was an undermined battle between the two.

Eren grabs a small object that laid on the floor, he threw it out into the open and as soon as it was set off into the air it exploded within seconds by a racing bullet. The clap of the gun was loud and clear as thunder.

Sweat trickled down Eren's neck. 'Whoever this person is—' Eren thinks with a sort of dread in his eyes, '—they have an exquisite sense of aim.' Eren pauses to think.

'I have to distract them, they can't see me due to the shadows just like I can't see them, they're probably using their sense of hearing just like I am, they're basing themselves solely on that.' Eren's brows clash together strongly, his head thumping painfully.

'Think, think, think dammit!' he clenches his jaw.

Eren grabs more objects that laid on the floor and throws them at the same time, each farther than the other. They made small clicks and clacks as they hit the floor and if you weren't listening carefully you would surely miss them.

But Eren knew the rogue agent was listening, he was certain. He tried using the rocks as a sort of diversion to mislead the gunman from Eren's location. He hoped it worked. Unless he was listening too keenly.

Eren peered from behind the steel beam slowly as he was about to move forward only to have a silver bullet graze his face. Sweat poured down his forehead as he swallowed the lump in his throat, he gazed down and caught glimpse of some brown strands of his own hair fall to the floor.

'Who the fuck is this mother fucker?' Eren bared his teeth like an enraged animal, cocking his gun quickly. The silence stretched out again and for a while they both remain emotionless, no one daring to make the first move, they were in a silent standoff.

Taking this as his opportunity to flee, the boss man who had been caught in fear between the two agent's brawl stumbles to his feet and trembles toward the front of the room in an attempt to escape.

'I need to keep him here.' Eren thinks, swallowing hard. He shoots a bullet near the man's feet to keep him at bay, the man gives out a ear-splitting screech, he stumbles backward to the floor. The drug trafficker touches his face as if to assure himself he was still alive, he was sweating feverishly and his face was as pale as a ghost.

"Why are you people here? How many are there of you? What do you want from me? Are you going to kill me?!" the man bellows out, dread clear in his voice, he trembled but quickly makes his way to his desk.

'Shit, he's probably heading for a gun." Eren reasons as he dashed through the shadows, heading toward the drug dealer, the rogue agent seeming to think the same as it bolts down the room as well. Eren hears it's footsteps run parallel with his own, he prepares his gun for easy fire, a smooth kill.

'This is it.' Eren thinks as he reaches the end of the room, springing out of the shadows, the rogue agent mimicking his actions from the other end. They both hollered out a final battle cry as they both pointed their gun at the other's forehead.

Eren's eyes widen in a split second, finally getting to see the agents face.

"You—"

A loud fire was heard. A pause. Then, another great silence overpowered the room, the only noise came from the single bullet that had been fired, the cartridge clicking as it bounced on the floor.

Then, the frantic voice of Armin was heard from the broken earpiece that laid on the floor.

"Eren! Eren? Can you hear me? What happened? Eren!" but the voice was static and distant and then, it broke and gave out into the cold night.

* * *

I'm a piece of shit for ending in another cliff-hanger. I'm sorry.

Please tell me what you think though! It helps a lot!

BTR


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